Modern Day Love
by Horky
Summary: A story of a girl who is becoming a woman, who is learning what changes bring about, and how life is not always how you expect it to be. From heartbroken to growing, a story of how Tifa copes with the relationships she has in this day and age.
1. The Realization

Modern Day Love

Monday 12:32 am

Bless...it's a little chilly!

Need my hoodie...ahh, much better.

Despite my mood, I manage a smirk. It's black and much too big for me, with a crude skull and spoons crossed beneath it.

It reads 'Cereal Killer'.

...maybe I shouldn't be sitting out on my rooftop in the middle of Feburary...but it felt like the best thing to do right now. It's a good place to think, a roof. I can see the stars and the moon is so bright. I've spread my blanket down, maneuvering quietly as to not wake anyone in the house. I'd be killed if I were found up here.

I lay down, gazing at the stars, my cheeks aren't wet anymore, and my sobs have stopped. I don't understand it really, it just came out of nowhere.

I don't think I've ever cried so hard in my life.

I think I've known for a while I loved him, I just...couldn't say it, even to myself...And now it's thrust itself in my face the moment I know I've lost him forever. I can feel my heart aching and burning...it's a new sensation, and one I really don't care for.

Maybe I should explain.

Earlier tonight, it'd been wonderful. I've known my absolute greatest and most best friend Aerith Gainsborough for approximately ten years now. We met in second grade, and we've been inseparable ever since despite how different we can be. She's like my sister, and I love her.

Then there's Cloud Strife, my other best friend. I've only known him for about four years, but still, I feel like I've known him for a lifetime. Our personalities mesh, we've got a good connection, and I love him, too.

Although...I didn't know how much...

It started with us three going to see Beauty and the Beast. A few of our classmates from school were putting it on, and I wanted to see it. I invited another friend, but, he's just antisocial. So we go, and I'm happy, and we're all happy...and the play is bloody awesome! It's so good, although the Beast's costume is hilarious, and Aerith and I have to stifle laughter half the time.

However, Cloud's not happy. I know Cloud has had the biggest crush on Aerith since he first laid eyes on her. I don't know if it's any big deal or not, but Aerith doesn't really seem to have that much interest in him...

Until the late.

He's so sad during intermission, and I try to cheer him up, and make him feel better while Aerith's in the bathroom, but I can't. I just can't concentrate on what he's saying, because I have this overwhelming impulse to kiss him on the cheek. I toy the idea in my head, wondering what he would say...I then wonder why I even **want** to kiss his cheek, but I've no more time to ponder it, as to the fact Aerith has returned.

So the play goes on, and it seems Cloud has cheered up, and I'm glad for it. I never like seeing him sad. After the play, Cloud takes us home. He drops me off first, and that's no surprise to me. I change, and go downstairs to check my e-mail. It's then I get a call.

It's Cloud.

"Cloud?"

"Tifa! I am so happy...I'm like walking on...I can't even begin to explain."

"Whoa, Cloud, calm down...what?" I ask, not really paying attention.

"I had to pull over, that's how happy I am...I mean Tifa, just look at the stars...don't you ever just look at the stars?"

"Uh, Cloud...you do remember the fact that we had astronomy together last semester, right?"

But he's ignoring me.

"I just..."

"Why are you so happy? You're never this way."

"Why? Because...Aerith and I just kissed."

I think I've dropped the phone, but my entire body is numb, so, whose to say?

"Tifa? Tifa?"

"Uh...yeah..." I try to sound bright and cheery for him, while trying to catch my breath.

"Isn't it great?"

"Awesome." Did he notice my voice shake.

"Uh...listen, I need to go, so I'll talk to you tomorrow?"

"Yeah! Definitely, I want to talk some more."

"Okay, Cloud...bye."

I don't even wait for him to respond.

Are these tears? Why am I crying? Cloud's with Aerith now, I should be happy...it's something he's wanted for a long time now, something that I've helped him with...so why am I crying? Why can't I stop sobbing, what is this pain in my heart? Since when do I care that he's in love? ...

I don't...because, he never truly was in love...because every other girl was nothing, so I had no worries, I had no reason to bring out the fact I loved him...because, no girl posed a threat...but her...

Her...

I thought...she told me...but...how can this be happening?

I know now, though, why I am crying.

I know I love Cloud, and have always loved Cloud, and always will.

But I also know now that since she's got him, I'm never getting him back.

Now I am numb,  
I can't feel my legs...  
My heart's pounding in my head  
It can't be happening,  
I'm crushed...  
I can't breathe,  
I'm gasping for air  
That just isn't there...  
Oh release me from  
This painful captivity  
My heart's in two pieces  
And fallen apart  
Deny me, oh sweet beautiful bliss  
You, overjoyed by a simple kiss  
Aching, breaking,  
My hands are shaking...  
I hid even from myself  
And this I cry for help...  
I'm crying blood,  
Suffocating on life,  
I'm done and through  
With this fight.

**A/N:**...well...I don't really know about this, but I'll try...the poem is by me, and actually written on the night this happened...the OOCness probably comes from the fact that this actually happened in my life...and it sucks...sucked...still sucks...but yeah! I know you're all like WHERES THE CLOTINESS! and I'm like SORRY! It'll come, eventually...but right now will probably be depressing...but don't worry, I'll give Tifa a happy ending, even if I don't get one.


	2. Lips Sealed

Wednesday, 12:15 am

I haven't been sleeping well lately, so I'm out on the roof again.

I think I had hints of me loving Cloud.

I remember a few weeks back we went on a trip with our school. We had went to this lecture thing, and Cloud and I had sat together. Aerith was there too, but with a different group. Cloud and I had fallen asleep during the lecture, our heads leaned back and stretched out in our chairs.

It was the best sleep I've had in a long time. It was a sleep where you knew everything that was going on around you, but you were still asleep. We only slept for like ten minutes, but it felt like ten days. When we woke, my friends Yuffie and Shera were laughing at us.

"What's so funny?"

"It's just you two, you fell asleep in the exact same position at the exact same time." Yuffie states, giggling.

I smiled, blushing slightly.

Later on when we stopped for supper on the way back, I banged my knee on the arm rest of a chair on the bus. It swelled up and I spent the ride home with my leg stretched out over Cloud's lap.

It's been a while since we'd both blushed like that.

But the reason I'm thinking about this, is that a few nights later, I had Aerith, Yuffie, and Shera spend the night at my house. We were gathered in the basement, munching on snacks and sitting on the floor. Aerith was at the computer, and we were all having a good time.

"Aerith, you should've seen them on the trip." Yuffie starts.

Shera proceeds to tell Aerith about how we fell asleep.

Aerith laughs, "That's cute."

"Yeah," Shera starts, "You know you two will end up dating, probably for a long time too." She states, nonchalantly.

Yuffie nods in agreement as I feel my face pale, and my jaw sort of dropped slightly as they continue to speak of mine and Cloud's future dating. Yuffie and Shera had made an innocent comment, but still, my heart was stirring with emotions I hadn't felt in a long time.

It was only then I'd happened to look up, catching Aerith's eyes. She was glaring at me, with utter contempt and disgust.

And I realize she's angry at me because I've caused Yuffie and Shera to think Cloud and I may possibly date one day.

"Please," I say, trying to brush it off, "We're like siblings!"

I let out a fake laugh, and Aerith looks away, but I can still see the anger in her eyes, her nose scrunched up in disgust.

It gets me thinking now, what if Aerith was only doing this to Cloud because she thought I could possibly have him? I mean, it's not like Aerith was ignorant to Cloud's feelings. She's never been. So why was she so upset at the fact that I may date Cloud? That Cloud could love **me** for a change? That someone would pick me over her. Me, the quiet one compared to Aerith, always the social butterfly. Me, the one whose boyish, and not girly like her in her all pink outfit. Me, the one whose there to help with relationships, not have one.

But maybe I'm over thinking this.

Or maybe it's because Aerith had told me on more than one occasion she probably would never date Cloud.

But it still doesn't matter. I can't say anything now, as much as I want to. Do you know how awkward that would be? How strange it'd be to see him if I told him I loved him? Especially now him and Aerith have kissed. I can't say anything, I'd only lose them both. I couldn't stand that though, losing my two best friends. But I can stand this though. All I have to do is not have them find out. I just have to keep quiet, I just have to promise myself I'll keep my lips sealed...

Feh, easy to make that promise.

_I want to say something to him,  
But I can't...  
My emotions are at the brim  
I just want to rave and rant...  
I'd like to tell him,  
But that's impossible...  
I have to ignore them:  
These feelings...so undeniable.  
I just have to stay quiet,  
And keep my mouth shut  
To say something...what a riot  
With myself stuck in a rut.  
I just can't say anything,  
I just can't think of it anymore  
To imagine what I'd be losing,  
He would just close the door.  
It's just so unfair  
How he doesn't love me,  
It's just too much to bare  
And he will never begin to see.  
I am in way too deep.  
And it's just so unreal  
That I have to keep  
My lips forever sealed_

**A/N:** Another chapter, another heartbreak...and we find ourselves questioning Aerith's true intentions...oh hoho! but anyways, poem's mine once again, written a few months back...so enjoy! And I'm leaving again this weekend, so expect slow updates! I might spit one out for Diaries, but eh...who knows? As always thanks for the bloody awesome reviews! Till next time!


	3. Backseat Thoughts

Tuesday 12:35 am

You know what I think hurts the most though? The thing that makes everything awful? Makes me think all of the bad things, and the awful thoughts? It's this: The backseat...that's what hurts the most.

Yeah, keep laughing with your perverted thoughts...but it's not that way...

You see...it's been two weeks since our last little talk. Things haven't gotten better...they've certainly gotten worse.

The three of us always go out. We started doing it a few months before Aerith and Cloud got together. Those were some of the greatest times I'd ever had. We normally go out to eat once a week, even if it is just to a fast food restaurant...we love each others company. We three go together good.

However...since they've been dating, it's all been falling apart.

I feel like I'm nothing but the third wheel.

The thing that spurs these thoughts are the backseat.

Cloud has two vehicles. His motorcycle, and his car. His car is a two door. So you see, every time we went out, either Aerith or I would have to crawl into the backseat. But now, now that they're dating, the backseat is my designated spot. It hurts you see. I can't hear what they're saying, I'm not a part of their conversations, and I get the feeling that they don't even realize I'm not. I've been pushed into the background, that's all I am...background...and that spurs the thought of how Cloud looks at us now.

I know I was never number one in his heart...but I've been his best friend for four years now. Aerith met him five years ago...history happened, they stopped talking, and now, four months ago she and him start talking again. I guess it's the fact that someone new is now his best friend, and more. Or maybe it's the fact that I've been with him for four years now, and she comes in and steps between us in a matter of months. I've been with him so much for such a long amount of time, I'm finding it hard to get use to someone else being there...well, being there in a romantic way.

I'm the third wheel now. It's awkward for me to hang out with them now. Do you know what it's like to have to glance away every time your two best friends kiss? Do you know what it's like to have to stare across a table at the two of them as they cuddle? When you're sitting there by yourself...and then they ask you what's wrong...I just want to shove my foot in unhappy places. They act like everything can remain the same as it's been. But it can't...because it's not the same as it's been. They're together. Aerith...I just don't understand her...and Cloud...he's always been fond of her...but now...

Something else plagues me, as I sat in that backseat, blocking the two lovebirds out.

So many people...well, so many guys have been my friend...all because I was Aerith's best friend. I've made so many friends that spoke with me because they all had crushes on Aerith. And all of her boyfriends...who do you think came to when they had problems with her? Who do you think fixed her relationships time and time again? And how many friends do you think I've lost when they lost interest in Aerith...when they and Aerith broke up?

I keep thinking...that those four years ago...what if Cloud only became my friend to get to know Aerith? Sure, he's my friend now...but how much more appealing was it to get to know me because of Aerith? And if they break up, what will happen to our friendship? Will he abandon me like all her other boyfriends?

How much of our friendship is based off of Aerith? How many conversations have we had about her? How does she rule our lives? Our friendship? All this time, I've just been listening. I know Cloud like the back of my hand...but how much have I talked? How much does he know of me?

Everything lately...at least Cloud's noticed this much...I've changed so much in a short amount of time. I don't talk anymore...I tell them nothing's wrong, I just don't have anything to say...but the truth is...I can't tell anyone. It'll just get back to them, to Cloud, to Aerith.

Aerith...

I'm tired of living in her shadow...

You know, my mother put me in school early, I could be a junior instead of a senior...sometimes, I think, that if my mother would've waited, I never would've met Cloud or Aerith.

Sometimes...I wish it...

All these thoughts because of that stupid backseat...

Now do you see why it's the worst?

Do you really know me?  
After all these years,  
After everything, do you know me?  
Look at it, who's been talking?  
Not me, I've been listening...  
And you expect me to just open up?  
You expect me to just pour my heart out?  
Look at you! You're barely stable!  
You couldn't take what's in my heart!  
No one knows me!  
What makes you special?  
What makes you different,  
What makes you stand out?I know all about you, though...  
I know plenty of secrets,  
I know how you think, and what you want...  
You know nothing!  
So why should I tell you?  
Because it's good for me?!  
I have NOTHING to tell you...  
You have never listened,  
Why should you start now?  
Your head is too far in the clouds.  
You are overjoyed and in bliss...  
Good for you!  
But I, I have nothing to say...  
For only until now that you've reached happiness,  
Have you given a damn about me...  
It's true, is it not?  
So do you really expect me to tell you what's wrong?  
Because you don't know me,  
You never cared before...

**A/N: **sorry sorry sorry! I'm sorry, I don't update this one that much...tis pretty depressing at the moment...well, I'll try and be better on this ones update times...and thanks for all the encouragement! Thanks for everything, really...later loves!


	4. Numb With Burgers

Thursday, 12:34

I have become silent. I really have. I know it. Cloud knows it. Aerith knows it. We all know it, but we haven't said anything about it.

Maybe it's because I'm silent.

I can't help it, though. Cloud tells me I don't tell him anything anymore. I ask him what, and he says that I don't tell him what I'm feeling, how I feel about anything. I just tell him there's nothing to say. Course, we all know that's not the truth. I just can't say what I want to say. That'd be suicidal practically. I haven't been feeling too good about myself lately. I really haven't been doing anything at all, at least socially. Remember how I said we three went out every week?...Well, I've stopped going with them. It's been three weeks since our last talk. I know, I'm bad with this whole 'diary' thing, but I can't help it. Anyways...I've come to find excuses wonderful. I'll say anything to get out of it. I've got a migraine. I have a paper to write. I need to read something. I have to clean.

It's wonderful what excuses can do for you. Cloud keeps pushing me to tell him stuff, and I keep pushing him away. Every now and then I see Aerith and him sending me looks. They always look so worried now. I can't help that I'm silent.

So I'm surprised when Aerith walks up to me today and grabs my arm. She smiles at me and says, "Hey, let's go get some burgers after school, huh?"

I stand there, dubiously. I'm questioning what 'let's' means.

"Just you and me...it's been awhile since we've had a girls thing." She smiles.

Yeah, it has...you know, that'd be nice. And that's what I tell her.

A couple hours later, and a five dollar combo, and I'm munching on a burger and some fries. Aerith and I joke. We _joke_. We laugh...WE...laugh. I can't remember the last time I laughed. We talk about Yuffie's latest since project. She's got a trash locker going on in school. She's convinced everyone we hang out with in the morning to throw their trash into this empty locker.

Honestly, the girl's evil.

Aerith is remarking on how the hallway had a particular stank to it this morning, and I giggle, stating I didn't smell it.

Aerith grins wickedly, "Well, by the time everyone gets in there, it smells like B.O. anyways...so the combined stench of high school students who don't know what either showering or deodorant is probably covered it up."

I shrug lightly, "D.O. for the B.O."

We giggle.

"But where were you this morning?"

I freeze, a fry half way to my mouth. "What do you mean?"

"You're just never there in the mornings anymore. We miss ya!"

"What can I say...I need my beauty sleep." I pinch my cheek and she laughs.

"Well, don't spend too much time from us. It's our senior year. We gotta take it as it comes."

I nod, agreeing. "So...how're things going? You know...with you and...Cloud?"

She shrugs, fiddling with her straw, "Alright I guess."

I nod slowly, trying decipher every movement and word.

"But what about _you_, missy? You've been a ghost these past few weeks...how've you been?" She asks, pointing at me.

"Me? I've been okay?"

"I don't believe you."

"So."

"So."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"Dammit, woman, tell me something!" She exclaims.

"There's nothing to tell. "

"There has to be _something_."

"There's nothing."

"You lie."

"Do not."

"Do to!"

"Do _not._"

"Well, you've been so silent lately you've got to have something to say? What's going on? How're you feeling?" She's got that concerned face again.

"I'm not."

"What?"

Shut up! "I'm not feeling...I'm numb. I haven't felt anything at all these past couple weeks."

"Why? What do you mean?"

I shrug, "I just can't feel anymore."

"How do you feel about me?"

Shrug.

"Cloud?"

Shrug.

"How do you feel about Cloud, Tifa?"

"I don't know. I don't know how I feel about anything anymore. There's nothing here." I tap my chest lightly. "I'm hollow. Everything's...just gone...it's like someone erased all my feelings away. I'm so confused about everything...I guess...My heart just thinks it's better to be numb than feel anything."

"Hmm...So you need a way to feel again..."

I shrug.

"Hm...You need a man then."

WHAT?!

I choke on my drink.

"Just leave it to me."

"Aerith..." I begin cautiously.

"What?" She whines.

"That's dangerous. That's dangerous _and _scary."

And we laugh again.

I try and I try,

Yet all I do is cry.

I'm tired o this,

I'm letting go.

No more pain for me;

I can't feel

And I can't care.

No blood, no pain

And no more fear.

I claim nothing,

Show no emotions.

Time is gone

For I am Numb.

**A/N: **Shhh! Cerberus! Just keep it on the downlow. But seriously! Amaranthos! Wow...big long review...and don't get caught...and for those who say Tifa is in Aerith's shadow...well, I know...I stated so in deh last chapter...be patient...just wait...things will look up for Tifa...course, you guys have to understand Tifa is belittling herself right now...she's got a bit of low self confidence...it's just not going too good for her right now...so just keep on reading to see what happens! Thanks SO much for reviews...you're all too kind! but don't let that stop you...no really! I enjoy reading reviews. Lots of love!


	5. And The Day's Not Even Over

Monday 11:43 PM

That morning brought it all about.

"My GOD Aerith…shut up!"

She huffs, glaring at me. "I'm just trying to help..."

She pouts and I glare again, pressing my fingertips to my forehead.

"I know…but honestly!"

"Tiiiifffaaaaa!" She whines hopping up and down. "It'll fix _everything_, I promise! Cross my heart hope-

"NAH!" I yell, holding my hand up to silence her.

"Nah?"

"Nah!"

Snigger…"Nah?!"

"NAH!"

We both burst into a fit of laughter. Man, that attracted a lot attention. You just have to get this. Aerith and I…we just can't stay mad at each other. I swear, we've gotten into fights that end five minutes later and we act like nothing happened.

We're weird, trust me.

Cloud's been watching this whole escapade, and walks over as Aerith is called off by Yuffie.

"She's just trying to help."

"She's pushing her luck, Cloud." God I've missed talking to him.

"She only means the best."

"Which sometimes result in the worst."

"You have no mercy for her."

"She doesn't deserve any after the few days I've had."

"Yeah…I apologize about that."

"Did you hear about who she tried to get me to talk to?"

"I said I was sorry…"

"Vincent! Yeah, he's cool and everything and can play the bagpipes…but he's just not me! I've seen corpses with a better sense of humor! I'm just not him!"

"Like I said…"

"And then Reno! That little man who-"

"_Tifa…_"

"Okay, okay…but still! And then Rude, and Rufus…eck!"

"It's done some good, though."

"What do you mean?"

"You've talked the most you have in a couple weeks."

I blush, swallowing, "Well, you don't actually expect me to suffer in silence with this, do you?"

"I know I wouldn't…she just wants you to be happy."

"I know…she's just…overwhelming. She's like the matchmaker from hell."

_"Tifa…_we just want you to be happy. I want you to be happy like I'm happy."

Just ignore it…just ignore it Tifa…

"It's kind of insulting."

Cloud looks over, perplexed and I avoid his gaze.

"It's just…when she pushes so hard for a guy to go for me…it feels like I can't get him on my own, ya know? Like I can't just walk up and be interesting on my own. She's got to play a hand in it."

"Well, she does like to be involved."

I nod my head in agreement.

"You don't honestly believe that, do you?"

"Huh?"

"Come on, Teef…you've just never really dated that much. You never got into it, and she just wants you to join the world of high school dating, I guess."

I can't deny that. I've never had much success with the guys. Self confidence isn't exactly my biggest thing. I always lost my voice around guys. That and the fact I don't trust many guys...I'm just...it's just that...I guess I'm paranoid.

Except for Cloud.

Cloud's always had a different affect on me. Not to mention the fact my brain keeps getting distracted by feeling the heat from his body radiate off of him...tis distracting...don't call me weird...that doesn't happen with any other guy.

"She's just trying to help…Try to remember that much at least."

I shrug, trying to play it off.

"Trust me Teef…you're wonderful, and beautiful…you'll snag a lucky guy soon, and he'll love you more than words."

Did Cloud just say that? I glance over to him, but he's looking away. I swallow, thinking. Does he actually mean that? Does he actually think I could get a guy to love me?

"If…" I start, but my voice dies.

He glances at me, but thinks it was just his imagination.

I can't believe I almost asked that out loud...

If that's true, why don't you love me then?

If only I knew what the rest of the day had in store for me.

The day leaves me to think on the subject of how quickly Aerith had gotten a hold of Cloud's heart. Not to mention the fact something else had been brought up that I'd been dreading for a while now.

Prom.

A while back, in December, Aerith and her friend Tseng decided they'd go together; just as friends of course. Cloud and I decided we'd go together, just as friends, though. I was so excited for a while. Course, you can probably guess what happened to damper that mood. I'm so afraid, and nervous. It's awful. And I'm beginning to think that meeting up with Aerith for burgers the other day was a bad idea.

You see, I had told Aerith I was numb...and in all truth I had been. And as I thought over the weekend as Aerith mentioned guy after guy, I couldn't help but get excited. For the longest time I've been trying to tell myself that I was just jealous of what Aerith and Cloud had. I was jealous that while before we'd all been on equal ground, now Aerith was in a higher position in Cloud's heart. I tried to convince myself it was just that I didn't like being bumped back. While part of that was true, at the same time, I knew that wasn't the only thing. So, as the weekend rolled by with talk of a boyfriend from Aerith, I got to thinking. Would just dating a guy be so bad right now? Sure, I'd love to go on a date, it's been a few months since my last one. I'm not exactly sure I want to make a full commitment, but it'd be nice going out on a date. In all honesty, if I got a boyfriend, I thought maybe it would be a way to distract myself from Aerith and Cloud...if that was possible.

But now, as I sit here watching them talking today, I can't help but think at how foolish I am. Would it really distract me? Or would it only make matters worse? Can you really stop caring for someone by dating another person? Can one really stop loving somebody? I didn't know, but I'd like to find out...and I'd just like to let it all go. It was getting to difficult to remain silent, to keep my mouth closed about my true feelings.

So that's when the pain came.

Since Aerith had introduced me back into the world of the living, I was laughing and talking again, and having hope. But that also brought the pain. I couldn't stay silent forever...and that was the reason why I made myself go numb. All those feelings were still there...I just didn't...no, I couldn't bring myself to acknowledge them. As this day passes, I can't help but think I'm foolish no matter what I do...and that I need to talk to someone. But if you tell one person, then they all know...and it just goes down the drain. I needed someone outside of that circle of friends, and it was then I thought of someone.

After school, instead of heading back to the hall or straight to my car, I made a walk for the ROTC room. Jessie was sitting at a desk talking to a few friends when I came in. She looked up and smiled.

"Tifa!" She shouted, running over and hugging me.

"Hey, Jessie...it's been a while."

"It has! Hey...let's go talk." She pulls on my arm and we head out to the parking lot.

By this time it's cleared out a bit, and we sit down beside of her car facing each other. She smiles.

"How's life?"

"You really don't want to know."

She frowns, her brow creasing. "What's wrong?"

"I'm in love..." I whisper.

"That's great!"

I shake my head no, quickly and she asks why.

"Because...I'm in love with the guy Aerith's dating."

"Cloud?" I nod my head yes. "I knew it."

I glance up at her, she's still frowning. "It isn't good then."

"I can't stay silent anymore...you know them...if I tell one, they all know...I know they'd just be trying to help...but I don't think any of them could right now."

"Yeah...so how're you holding up?"

"Not good...I just...I can't believe that they're dating! And I can't say anything! If I say something, I'll lose both of them forever! I can't lose them! I just can't...they've been there for me for so long...how could I betray them like that?"

"Tifa..."

"And you want to know what the worst part is?" Tears are forming, but I'm trying to hold them back. "I'm _bitter,_ Jessie...bitter...and I _hate_ it. I hate being jealous of them...I hate everything about it...no..wait...the worst part is...I actually thought at one point in time that Aerith was just doing this because she thought Cloud and I might possibly date. I thought...that maybe she thought...she'd lose her admirer to me...and she wouldn't be able to take that...I'm _awful._" And that's when I burst into tears.

She holds my shoulders and shushes me and tells me it's alright. But it's _not._ It can't be alright to be in love with your best friend's boyfriend, can it? It _can't._

"Tifa...you can't always go around thinking of those two. You are such a wonderful girl...and you'll get him eventually, I know it...you and Cloud...you'd just make such a better couple than him and Aerith. And it wouldn't surprise me if Aerith did do that just out of spite. You two will date for so long...heck you might even be soulmates...I promise Tifa...you'll have your day. You've just got to speak up...you can't just sit by and let everything over take you. Listen, I know you...and I know you're thinking of their feelings...but that's all you ever do! For once Tifa...think of your own feelings...think of yourself, and have at it! Don't be afraid to tell him, Tifa. Don't lose to her...it'll be best in the long run..."

"But Aerith..."

"If she isn't big enough to accept your feelings, she wasn't much of a friend in the first place, was she?"

She speaks this with wisdom...but...life without Aerith? I can't even begin to imagine what that'd be like. I'm so afraid...I'm so afraid that I'd lose both of them if I said anything. If I said I loved him, how would Cloud react? Probably with disgust, and Aerith would hate me...but how could they hate me for how I feel? As long as I don't act on it, then it should be okay, right? But it would be so awkward afterwards...I know it...and I don't know if I could handle that...course, I don't know if I can handle this...it seems the biggest mistakes I could make are all win-lose situations...if I even get a win.

I need to tell them...but at the same time...I know I can't.

**A/N:** Rend...confused? hope that cleared it up for you a bit...you've just got to get into the mind of a girl...honestly, that's how some of them work! And everyone is dying to see the guy Aerith picked...but you all saw how good she was at that...heh, matchmaker from hell...I couldn't help myself! She means well...butttt...yeah, we'll just leave it at that. And this chapter was LONG...so I didn't add a poem...plus the fact this day isn't even over yet...and I didn't want to stop...but alas! I had to...so not to overload your brain. And Vincent with bagpipes? Come on, you have to love that image...Later loves!


	6. Rehearsing Rage

Still Monday

Jess and I sit for a while and just talk. It's about better things, mostly the past...of course, like everyone, there's something I wish I could change...and it actually doesn't involve Cloud or Aerith...but that's for another time.

As I'm heading out towards my car, Jesse hops in hers and pulls off. I spot my car near the back of the lot and head off. Honestly, our car lot seems so big right now. There's only about twenty cars or so left, and this is only the senior lot. It's too big right now, though in the mornings when fighting off other cars, I wish it was much, much larger...

That or I had my own personal parking spot up in the front...I'd take that.

I spot another car near my own, and it looks as if someone's struggling. There's a...wait...is that a sword? I think it is...it's sitting resting up against the door frame, the door open. The owner is digging around in the trunk, pulling out boxes. That's when the wind picked up, and the door to his car started swinging shut.

"H-hey!" I call, trying to warn him.

Seeing that he's not paying attention, I rush over, catching the door from smashing a sword. By now I've figured out it's just cardboard painted and shaped like one large freaking sword. I mean, it's beastly. I catch the door in my hands, which would've surely been the cardboard sword's demise, and the owner looks up. He looks startled, and then he smiles.

"Thanks!" He says.

He's tall, taller than Cloud, and his hair kinda spiky like Cloud's...though not so much. It trails down his back in almost a blue black color. His eyes are a deep blue, and his smile is infectious. I smile back.

"Oh...it's no problem...just trying to save...your...erm, sword..."

"Oh, that...it's for a play...I'm in the Drama Club. You in it?"

Not the _official _drama club...after all, Aerith is my friend.

"Uh, no...seems interesting though...I love plays...especially musicals."

"Really?"

"Mm hmm."

He smiles again, and holds out is hand, "Name's Zack."

"Tifa." I reply, smiling and shaking his hand.

"It's a pleasure."

"Are you a senior?" I ask. "I've never seen you around before."

"Yeah...I am."

"Really? Huh...well, it's not like you meet everyone in this school." I laugh nervously.

That was a pretty stupid comment...moron.

Why am I scolding myself over a guy I'll probably never see again? I mean...if we've been here this long...well, what's the chances I'll see him again?

"Those for the play as well?" I ask, pointing to the boxes on the ground.

"Huh? Oh yeah! Those..." He laughs and scratches the back of his head.

It reminds me of Cloud.

"Those are costumes my mom worked on. I gotta haul this stuff over to the auditorium."

My eyes go wide, "All by yourself?"

"Well...yeah, I guess; hadn't really thought about it." He states looking down at the boxes.

"I'll help." I state.

"You will?" He asks surprised.

For a moment, I think he's finding me annoying, and I almost regret saying I'd help, but then he smiles big and wide...and even though I've just met him, I can tell it's genuine.

"Yeah, just let me throw my stuff in my car...and I'll grab a couple boxes." I say, walking towards my car.

"Well...thanks Teef!" He turns around, grabbing some things.

I freeze mid-step, but then keep on going. Nobody calls me 'Teef' except Cloud...no ones ever called me that except for him...it was sort of...Cloud's thing. Not even Aerith calls me Teef. Strangely, I don't mind him calling me Teef...he seems nice enough...and I'm always glad to meet new people...

...well...

Not letting my mind dwell on it any more, I throw my backpack into my car and return to Zack's to help him. I carry a few boxes, and Zack swings his sword up onto his shoulder, and grabs a box with his other hand. Together, we trudge off towards the auditorium.

I don't go in the auditorium much. It's a rather big room, but the seats suck. They're hard wooden chairs, although the stage is pretty nice. Zack leads me up onto the stage and into a room off to the side. There we place the materials down. There's a few people roaming in and out, doing the same as we are. As we walk back out onto the stage, that's when I see it. It's old and dusty, but it's a grand, and I love to play pianos.

Before Zack realizes, I hop off the stage, and walk over to it. Pressing the C key, it gives a cool hum in response. I smile, trailing my fingers across a few more keys, and play a chord. Despite its decrepit looks, it's in tune.

"You play the piano?" Zack asks from somewhere behind me.

"I try." I reply.

I use to take lessons, but it's been a while. I adore playing the piano. It's very relaxing, and I love it so much. It's one of my favorite hobbies. That, and singing. Though I don't really play in public places. I get awful stage fright.

"Really? That's cool." He replies.

More people are pouring in, some are even in costumes up on the stage. I frown.

"I should go...looks like you're about to start practice."

"Well, you can stay...ya know...if you want." He replies quietly, almost nervous.

I pause. Should I stay? It wouldn't be the first time I've done something like this. I've stayed after before for a soccer practice, and jazz band...just out of curiosity...but should I stay for him? My mind keeps drifting back to Cloud...I feel kind of guilty...but why should I? It's not like I'm dating Cloud...I'm weird...I know, trust me. So why not stay? It might be interesting...and if not, I'll know next time.

"Sure." I reply, smiling.

The play seems interesting enough. Zack is actually one of the main characters. It's one of your classic fairy tales. With the good guy, and the bad guy, and the potential love interest, and the best friend, and of course the old man who's like his father. Course, the old man isn't looking too old. It looks like a teenage boy, and someone's thrown a mop on his head. I guess they don't want to mess up his costume...or they're just that desperate.

There's actually a couple fighting scenes. Zack spins his sword around in complicated looking maneuvers, though he has to be careful. He can't hit anything to hard in fear of damaging the cardboard. At the end of the rehearsal, I give a small clap, along with the rest of the small audience of friends that have tagged along. As I stand to gather my hoodie, I hear someone call out.

"Yo, Barrack!"

I glance up...Barrack? Isn't that...

Oh my...

I see Zack glance up, and he smiles at the guy that called out. The two speak for a moment, before Zack says his goodbye. Zack gathers his coat and he waves at me walking over.

Now I recognize him. I had seen him before, I even knew his name...I just didn't realize. Zack Barrack is on the football team. I can't remember what position he plays, but I know he's pretty good. On more than one occasion I'll hear his name during announcements about the game with his name included. I hadn't thought much of football since after all, it wasn't football season anymore.

He grins as he walks over, "So, what's the damage?"

"It was actually pretty good...except for you." I joke.

He laughs, "Yeah, it went pretty well...still got some work to do."

"I suggest a new costume for your 'father.'"

He grimaces, "Yeah, I know. We really need a new one for him."

I laugh, "So...you're Zack Barrack..."

"You caught me."

"I didn't figure you for much of a drama person...with the football and what not."

"What can I say, I'm versatile."

I smile.

We talk on the way out to our cars, and he's actually rather interesting, and smart. Most of the guys in this school are complete idiots or potheads, so it's a nice change when an actual good one comes out of the bunch.

"I'll see you around." I say as I reach my car.

"Yeah." He replies.

"Um...do you think I could get your number? I'd really like to hang out sometime."

Say what? Did a guy just ask me for my number? Wow...I can't remember the last time this happened.

"Uh...sure...well, um, let me get yours while I'm at it." I say, fishing out my cell phone.

I click it on for the first time today. A little message appears on my screen. Twelve missed calls? Six voice mails? What the hell happened? The apocalypse?

We exchange numbers, and say our goodbyes.

"Oh, and if you're ever interested, we have rehearsals on Mondays and Wednesdays...an extra hand is always appreciated."

I nod my okay, and smile, getting into my car. Zack pulls off first, but I check my phone. Two are from Aerith, one's from Yuffie, and one is from Barret. The rest are from Cloud. I frown, glancing at my clock. It's only five o'clock. Why did he call me so much? I dial my voice mail, and listen to the ensuing messages. One's from Aerith, simply stating to call back because Cloud's freaking out. There's one from Yuffie asking who I was with, and one from Barret asking if I was in trouble. The other three are from Cloud. They are as follow:

"Hey, I was just calling to see if we were going to get on live tonight...give a call back." -3:25

"Hey...um...it's like...four, and you haven't called back...and Yuffie said she saw you with some guy...she said she didn't know him, but she thought he was a jock...so just give a call, alright?" -4:14

"Tifa...where are you? Why aren't you answering your phone? If you don't call back in twenty minutes...well, I'm heading over. No one knows where you are...your car is still in the parking lot according to Barret. If that stupid jock...sigh...Where are you?" -4:48

I frown, deleting the messages, and call up Cloud immediately.

"Tifa!" He answers before the first ring even gets done.

"Cloud? Are you okay?"

"Where've you been? I called like-

"Yeah, eight times, I saw...I was in the auditorium...for the drama club. What's wrong?"

"Nothing...it's just, no one knew where you were...and Yuffie said you were with some guy."

"So...?"

"What do you mean 'so' Tifa...I mean, with what happened...I thought you were still...a bit nervous...I mean...Yuffie said she's never really seen the guy before...and he was some jock...and..."

"If she's never seen him before, then how she know he was a jock?"

"So he was a jock?"

"Does that even matter?"

"Y-...no..."

"Cloud..."

"It's just...I've been in the gym with some of those guys, Teef...and I know what they're like."

My heart twists with a bit of guilt with 'Teef'. I'm not about to let it show though.

"Yeah, and?"

"Well..."

"What Cloud?"

"Just don't trust them!"

"Does it make you feel any better we exchanged numbers?"

"_What_?"

"Yeah...he was really nice, too, and rather interesting."

"Tifa...you just can't go around trusting people...you told me that yourself."

"That was like...two years ago...and that was a difficult time...why are you even bringing that up?" I'm starting to get mad.

"I know you don't like to talk about it, Teef...it's just...I don't want it to happen again."

"Well, you and your _girlfriend_ were the one pushing me to go out with someone."

"You don't even know him!" Cloud yells.

He must be really upset...Cloud never yells...he never really shows that much emotion.

"Don't I need to talk to him to get to know him in the first place?" I ask hotly.

"I'm...just concerned, Teef."

"Well, I appreciate your concern, but I'm a big girl now Cloud! I can take care of myself!"

He takes a deep breath, "Listen...I know you've been taking those martial arts classes...and I'm sure they're helping...but a guy like him...he's got to be strong."

"So what?" I ask, breathing heavily.

"So...it might not be easy..."

"So you're saying I'm not strong?" I shoot back.

"No! No, it's not like that...just when _that_ happened-

"I _don't want to talk about that._ I thought you _understood_ Cloud...I don't want to talk about that!" I can feel a single tear rolling down my cheek.

"I know, Tifa! I just don't want it to happen again!"

"So I can't hang out with guys now, huh?"

"It's not that Teef...it's just...I...it's..." He bumbles with the words.

I interrupt cooly, "Isn't this the type of conversation you have with your girlfriend?"

He goes silent.

"Ya know, when it comes to being overprotective, and not letting her see any strange guys? Cloud, are you my boyfriend?" I ask.

"No." His voice is very strained and forced.

"_Then stay the hell out of my relationships._ It's not even a relationship! It's the beginning of a freaking friendship! If I listened to you, I'd never even get past that! When...no..._IF _I ever need any counseling on relationships, and who I should hang out with, and who I shouldn't...I'll let you know...until then, goodbye."

I hang up the phone. I don't bother waiting for a goodbye, cause by this point, I know he won't give one.

I fling my phone into the seat, the tear curling under my neck. How could I say those things to him? He's my best friend...I love him...how could I? How could I even think of someone else? How could I? I was so mean...I'm just so stressed...and everything is just so messed up right now...but still...that isn't an excuse for fighting!

Another part fights back though.

He brought _that_ up though...even though he knows not to. Because he deserves to be told off. Because his concern shouldn't be for you.

Because he isn't yours, and he'll never be.

And I feel it crawling up from my heart...it literally feels like my heart has a thousand needles sticking out of it...and that's what it is...and that's what overtakes me...all that pent up frustration pouring out...

I hit my fists against my steering wheel and scream.

As my scream dies, rage lives.

_It is overcoming me,  
Unbelievably frightening,  
But at the same time, I am free;  
That pent up fury releasing,  
That symbol of anger and hate,  
I am a monster now,  
There is no debate.  
It is hard to understand how  
I am no longer of this world.  
My monsters rip from my flesh,  
Reeking anger and begin to unfurl.  
Breathing in and breathing out,  
Escaping to the unknown,  
I am a monster without a doubt,  
Breaking open, snapping bones.  
People run and people cry,  
No mercy from this one.  
There isn't even a reason to try,  
But I will destroy the sun.  
I am the source of all mayhem,  
Making my presence known,  
I don't try to stop them:  
My monsters...they have grown.  
It cuts a burning path down my face,  
A single, solitary tear  
I do not deserve this forgiveness or grace  
Because I am the impossible fear...  
For I, myself, let my monsters break free,  
From their sturdy, well-built cage  
I let them out for all the world to see,  
And showed them that I am RAGE _

**A/N: **Another long chapter...I adore the poem at the end...it's one I wrote, and one of my absolute favorites that I've even written...Thanks for all the reviews! I'm sure you're all worried about the fight, and what event it was that happened in the past...but that's a secret, at least for a while!

(other ppl should read this...he brings good points) **Rend: **(that's right, you get a whole section) It's cool with the bluntness...and the impression I tried to give with Aerith, is that she is insecure w/ Tifa and Cloud...especially in ...erm...the chapter when the little bus incident happens...when Yuffie tells Aerith, and she gets 'jealous'...with the whole thing of Tifa's 'villan' role, I completely get you there...but you also have to take into account what exactly Tifa's doing...while she may not necessairly want Aerith and Cloud to be together...she isn't doing anything to prevent the two being together, or trying to sabatoge their relationship...alot of it right now is how Tifa is having the internal conflict of telling them and possibly screwing up things for life, or just staying silent and letting the couple be oblivious, and their future relationship happenings be determined by the couple, and not Tifa. That's what was the big factor last chapter, and the bases of the whole convo. with Jesse...after all, Jesse did tell Tifa to speak her mind, but will she? Tifa could easily be the villain, but with the way she's acting, she's choosing not to be...granted, it was a big scuffle that she and Cloud had...it still wasn't over Aerith...notice Aerith's name never was even brought up...and thanks for the praise...yes, this situation is _extremly_ difficult. And Aerith and Cloud, the personalities just don't quite mesh in that relationship. Or atleast in my opinion! and the name Horky...top secret...not really, it's just reallly stupid...and I've been told it's the name of Porky's friend...course...that was after the fact I choose it...it's just been with me for seven years...WOW...that was ALOT.


	7. Broken

Wednesday 12:34

Monday sucked...let's just face it everybody...Monday sucked...I mean, Monday in itself _always_ sucks...but that Monday sucked especially. Well, at least I've made a new friend...but it was hard to avoid Cloud through out Tuesday. It was a nightmare.

And Aerith had cornered me.

"You still need to talk to him."

"I don't feel like it."

Aerith gave an exasperated sigh. "Listen...I know...I told him the reason you really got upset is because of him bringing up _that_."

"And he just assumes too much." I state, my eyes gazing off into the distance.

"And just what does that mean?"

"He automatically assumed that guy was after one thing, and one thing only...and he wasn't...it was far from it. I actually make a friend, and Cloud goes all psycho."

"Tifa." Her voice is scolding.

"I don't want to talk about it."

"Tifa."

"No." I state, and walk away.

I know I'm being a bitch, trust me, I do. I'm not mean often, so I feel as if this one time I deserve to be one and stay one.

I didn't see him leaning up against my car when I walked out of the school that afternoon. It was Yuffie, who nudged my arm and grinned.

"Wow, Tifa...Zack Barrack? Go girl."

Now was not the time to be teasing me about guys, especially since she contributed to this whole fiasco.

I shove her arm, and she winks, unperturbed, as she jogs off to her car.

He does look rather handsome, though, I must admit. He's leaning with his back against the rear end of the car, his foot propped up on the tire. He's crossed his arms, and has got his head tilted back, his eyes closed...almost as if he's sunbathing on my car.

I really hadn't expected him to be there.

He hears me approach, and cracks an eye open, and then grins, pushing off the car.

"Hey." He says, and scratches the back of his head.

Any other time, I would be happy to see him. I'm just in a really freaking bad mood right now. Still, I try to opt for a smile, though I know it only comes out as a smirk.

"Hey." I state.

"What, you having a bad day too?" He asks as I stop in front of him.

"Yeah...what, are you?"

"No, I had a great day...'cept one of my friends was all...depressed today."

"Really? Mind if I ask why?"

"No," He states shrugging. "But he wouldn't tell me, and that was part of the problem...you gonna be the same way?"

I purse my lips. It's not like I can tell him about Cloud freaking out over him.

"I guess so." He says, since I'm not speaking. "Course, can't say I really blame you. We _did_ just meet."

"Oh, it's not that." I hurriedly say.

He cocked an eyebrow in response, "Really?"

"Well...I mean...it's a long...story."

"They always are."

I nod my head in agreement. "Are you sure your friend didn't tell _you_ because you just met?" I ask.

He laughs, "Ah...nah...we've known each other for a few years...he's been in a couple of my classes...we don't really hang out much...but he doesn't ever seem to want to do _anything_. He's in my chem class with me. He's a good guy."

I nod my head nonchalantly.

"Hey, maybe you know him...he's a senior too."

"What's his name?" I ask, not really paying attention.

"Strife...Cloud Strife."

I think my eyeballs just popped out of my head. I mean...they had to...I mean...my eyes...just flung open so fast.

"Cloud?"

"Yeah...you know him?"

"Do I know him..." I say under my breath.

"So you do?"

I nod my head. "Yes."

"Let me guess...you're upset, he's upset...does this involve the two of you?"

"We had a fight." I say, knowing I'm pouting my lips.

I gaze off into the distance, really wishing I wasn't having this conversation with him right now. Ugh! I'm so pissed off at Cloud now! Earlier I was just upset because I had to avoid him, but now I have legit reason to _detest _him. How could he just make those assumptions about Zack?! And especially since it was one of his friends! Oh wait till he hears this! ...Course, he did never know it was Zack...but still! Grr...I'm going to slaughter him.

"Yo! Earth to Teef!" Zack's waving his hands in front of my face.

"Sorry..."

"So it was bad?"

"Hmm."

"I'll take that as a yes. Well, you two better fix it then."

"Hmm."

"It's a drag sitting next to him in chem when he won't even talk! I have no entertainment!...well, not that he talks much anyways...but still, fix it."

"Hmm."

Zack gives a snort, "Oh come on, Teef, it's not that bad, right? I'm sure it was just an honest mistake, whatever he did...knowing him, he can be a bit dense sometime, right?"

I frown, he's right...I know he's right...Cloud's about as dense as a brick wall. Still...no, no still...he was just concerned about me, I know...damn...I hate it when he's right and I'm wrong. Still, we're going to have to talk about him not overreacting.

"So, you coming to Drama Club tomorrow?"

I sort of laugh, "Didn't know I was a member."

He gives a nervous laugh, scratching the back of his head again. "Well...I mean...ya know..."

"Sure...I'd love to help out."

He smiles again, "Great...well, I need to get going...I'll see you around."

"Okay, later."

"Fix things with Spike, at least for me, okay?"

"Right." And he hops into his car.

I follow suit, whipping out my cell phone immediately.

Cloud doesn't answer. "Dammit Cloud! Call me back!"

...I'm sure that message will leave him eager to return my call, but still. It's another hour before he does. I'm lounging on my couch when he calls.

"What..." He says when I answer.

"We need to talk."

"..."

"Cloud."

"..."

"Why didn't you tell me you were friends with Zack Barrack?"

"..."

"..."

"..."

"_Cloud_..."

"That...was...who it was?" The guilt is leaking off his words.

"Yes..."

"...crap..." he thinks he's whispered this out of range, but no.

"Crap is right Cloud. I think you owe him an apology."

"You didn't tell him, did you? About the whole...jock thing..."

"No Cloud, I didn't...though I probably should've, I didn't."

"Thanks Teef."

My heart immediately warms as he calls me that, and I feel a blush spreading across my face. My God, I'm like a girl with her first crush...we still haven't resolved him overreacting yet.

"Listen Cloud...I know you were concerned...I really appreciate that too...but..."

"I got to let you live."

"Hmm."

"I'm sorry."

"It's okay. I understand."

We're silent for a bit, but it's a good silence, a companionable silence, even if it is over the phone.

"So...everything's going to be okay?" I think his voice shakes as he asks this.

Honestly, I don't think I knew I meant so much to him. To have him broad in silence all day, and then still be worried that I'm angry at him...it's strange...He'd just acted with such vehemence yesterday...it was hard to believe the only reason he was reacting was because...of...well, _that._ He almost sounded...jealous...but why would he be jealous? I sigh, annoyed with myself. Honestly Tifa, you're just looking for a bit of hope...what are you going to do with that shred of hope when you see Aerith and Cloud kiss next time? You're pathetic.

"Teef?"

I realize I haven't answered his question. "Of course Cloud...things will always be okay between us, no matter what."

We talk for a few more minutes before I have to go eat supper. It's a relief to be back on good terms with him again. I mean, he's my best friend...how can I live without him?...That and I'm in love with him; that always makes a difference.

After supper Aerith calls, hyper and happy that Cloud and I made up. She asks if I want to come over to see her prom dress. I tell her sure, and head for my car. I bought my dress last year, and no, I was not that excited about prom. Last year, I ordered my dress offline, and I was afraid it wouldn't get here in time, so I bought a back up dress. My original dress was in time for prom, so I'm wearing my back up dress for this year. It's white, and strapless. It bunches up on my left hip, where it splits, and there's this mesh, sparkly material that shows through. It's hard to explain.

Well, the reason I'm telling you this...I get over to Aerith's house, and she's all excited saying her dress is pink and strapless. She pulls out the bag and lifts it up, and I think I just died.

It's the same dress.

Granted, it's pink...shudder...pink...

And the sparkly mesh material is the material of the dress, but still...it's the same design and everything. I feel everything fall apart, as if the world is crashing down on me.

"Aerith..." I swallow, still in a state of shock. "You do realize...that's...the same dress...that I've got."

"What?"

"You've seen it...it's that same style and everything."

"No it's not." She replies hotly, pulling the bag back down over it.

I'm numb...literally...numb. I swallow, my heart is still stuck in my chest.

"I don't know what jewelry to get with it though..." She states, tapping her chin.

Stay friendly, Tifa...stay friendly.

"I'm going to get some white gloves, and I'm wearing pearls."

"Pearls! That's it!"

Oh...

My...

What...just...

"Pearls would look great with this."

I'm still in shock, I know my mouth is hanging wide open...and I just want to cry. Let me explain. Yes, it is absolutely horrid that my best friend picked out the same dress as me, and is stealing my choice of jewelry, but that's not the worst part. Remember how I said I was going with Cloud? I thought, just maybe, that prom would be a good chance for me to just sort of stand out, ya know? A chance for Cloud to actually see _me, _let me have just one night that might actually have some importance about me; I mean, sure we're friends, but I am his date and everything. You know, see me in the dress and think, wow, she's beautiful...or pretty or something like that! Now, I've got to compete with the girl of his dreams, wearing the same dress and everything. I mean sure, I know he'll think I'm pretty, or look nice...but how am I going to compare to Aerith? How am I going to pale in comparison? When he sees me...he'll think, she's pretty...but then...with Aerith in that dress...my dress...he'll think she's gorgeous...I'll just look like the knock off brand of Aerith...Oh...no...

"Listen, Aerith...I uh...I gotta go...I'll see you later..."

Aerith frowns, but says good bye.

I swear, she's as dense as Cloud is sometimes. Swallowing, I get into my car. Scratch the Monday sucking...

Life sucks period.

I'm trying to calm myself down, I really am. I'm trying to not get angry, I really am. But I just don't know how much more I can take.

Everything is falling apart, like I'm standing on glass and it's just shattered. It's been cracking for weeks now, but...I didn't know how much longer I could hold on before I crack, before I snap, before I break.

But it's official now:

I'm broken.

_Deep breaths now,  
Calm down...  
You've made it this far before  
You can make it there again._

_It doesn't matter what you do,  
It doesn't matter what you say,  
This is your life, and you're screwed  
Even if you pray._

_There's no reason to scream your head off  
Or to lose your cool,  
There's no reason to try and win;  
You'll only look like a bigger fool._

_Cause everything they do,  
They do it against you.  
They'll stab you in the back.  
They're traitors, who knew?_

_And every time you'll see them  
You'll know what they did;_

_But they won't have a clue,  
So just clamp down your lid._

_Just keep your mouth closed,  
And just start to hope  
That you won't snap,  
And there's no reason to mope._

_I mean, they lie to everyone,  
Saying how they were alone.  
When you were the one beside them  
Till it was all said and done._

_They're buying for sympathy  
From people that they don't know  
And they're losing the one that did,  
Delivering the harshest of blows._

_But you'll be alright.  
There's no reason to be outspoken,  
That's what they'll tell you,  
You're not really broken!_

**A/N: **So fellas! Thanks for the great reviews...do not worry, Tifa's past will soon be revealed...there will be more interaction with Zack...and NO I am not telling you whether or not htis will be a CloTi...but come on you guys, look at my track record...what do you think? Honestly. Another poem by me...update soon! see ya, loves!


	8. Someone

Saturday 12:45 am

I've been gone for a few days, I know. It's just been...hectic...and interesting. I avoided Aerith and Cloud again. They were confused, I know this...but I couldn't, I just couldn't be around them right now. Not that much, at least. It hurt Cloud, and I feel really bad for it, especially since I had just told him everything would always be okay between us. It still was, but if I hang out with him, then Aerith's bound to pop up at some point and time, even if it's by phone. I just wasn't ready. Shera picked up on it, she's good at those sort of things, picking up on stuff and just listening when you're ready to talk. I told her Thursday at lunch about the dress. Course, I didn't tell her about the whole thing with Cloud; I saved that for Jessie.

I swallow, thinking about how earlier I thought I was broken. Granted, I am, but I'm still not as bad off as I could be, and I think that's the scariest part. Knowing that things could always get worse, and if it comes to Cloud and Aerith, it probably will get worse. I'm sitting on my roof again, now though. And for once, I'm not thinking about Cloud and Aerith. I'm thinking about Zack. Once I started avoiding Cloud and Aerith, I found myself finding Zack more often, whether by accident or not. He's interesting, and I went to Drama Club practice with him. I helped with costumes and the set. I even played the piano a bit along with the play. The club president is thinking about finding some music for me to play along with the scenes in the play. While that would be awesome, I really don't want to disappoint them...but I'm going to try.

We, Zack and I, went out on a date Friday night. Surprising, eh? Well, it wasn't your lustful 'let's go to the movies and make out' dates. It was...fun. He asked me after school on Thursday, and I agreed. After all, I had been saying I've been wanting to go out on a date. I still felt guilty though, because I know I love Cloud...but it's not like I'm cheating on him, right?

Anyways, we went and played putt putt, and that was an adventure in itself. See, the putt putt place is right beside of the five lane road...well, Zack's ball got outta control, and sailed over towards some other people...and the girl picked up the ball, and...yes, she threw it...and it bounced of the cement wall just beneath the iron fence...and rolled to a stop dead center of the road.

Zack just kinda stood there for a moment in shock. It was the funniest thing I've ever seen. No wait, actually it was when Zack went to retrieve the ball. He stood on a bench beside the wall and used it to get over the sharp points of the fence, ran out into the middle of the road, and almost lost something precious getting back over the fence.

So, since he was exhausted from that, on the next hole, it went into a cave. There was a wall in the middle of the cave, and a little stream running down through it. Zack sat down on the edge while I played my turn. I was about to hit the ball, when I hear, "It's wet! It's wet! It's cold! It's cold!"

...That's right, he slid back into the stream.

I started laughing, I couldn't help it. I grabbed his hand to try and pull him out, but I couldn't cause I was laughing so hard. I fell on the ground laughing, as Zack was yelling. I dimly notice two people walk over, both laughing. One guy just sort of stands there and laughs, while the other grabs Zack's hand and tries to pull him out. The guys so tiny compared to Zack, he has to kick off the wall.

He overcompensates, and then bam! It all goes black for a moment. I don't know which one of them landed on top of me, but when I open my eyes up, I see the stranger's butt. Zack get's his legs untangled from mine, and we play the rest of the way through with the two guys. After a while, we just stop playing, especially when we get to this perfect hole to launch the golf balls off of a giant hill.

It was great.

We say bye to those two later, whose names were Biggs and Wedge. Turns out they go to our school as well. Zack takes me to a restaurant, and we enjoy a meal there. It's good conversation, and everything. I have a wonderful time, and later we go stop by the school. Zack sneaks us out onto the foot ball field, and we lay there and look at the stars.

"You know, star gazing is better suited for the winter." I state.

He blushes, I can tell, even in the dark, but I smile, "But I still love it all the same."

He grins, and lays back. In this silence, as I'm looking at the stars, I feel guilty. The reason, I know this now, why I enjoy hanging out with Zack is not only because he's awesome and great...but because he makes me forget about Cloud and Aerith. However, here, he can't. This is Cloud and mine's thing. We use to do this sort of thing all the time, just pick a random night and look at the stars and talk. God, what am I doing? I'm leading on Zack...I can never love him. I can't, I thought maybe if I got a distraction...but nothing can distract me from Cloud. You love who you love, and is it my fault I love a man who will never love me back? I can't use Zack as a distraction...I can't use him like that. I have to tell him.

"Zack...listen..."

He glances over at me out of the corner of his eye, "Hmm?"

"I have to tell you something." I state, sitting up.

Zack follows suit, and eyes me warily. I'm such an awful person.

"I shouldn't have come on this date with you...I mean, it was one of the best times I've ever had...it's just...well, I'm damaged goods." I state.

Zack eyes me frowning, "I know about that."

My eyes sort of widened, and then it hits me he's not talking about me being in love with Cloud.

"I'm sorry that it happened."

"Well, that's good that you accept that...but it wasn't what I was talking about."

His brow wrinkles, and I look away.

"I'm in love with someone already...someone I can't have."

He doesn't say anything for a minute, but I feel him stand up. For a moment, I think he's going to walk away, instead he just sighs, and casts his eyes around the stadium. In the dim light, I see him gaze around the stadium, as if contemplating something, and then he sort of smirks.

"I guess we really are made for each other, then." He states, shrugging.

"Huh?" What? I'm so confused.

He looks back down at me, "Because I'm in love with someone I can't have either."

I stare back in silence and shock for a moment, and he sighs looking away.

"Don't think...that I was just going after something...especially after what happened to you...I mean...not that I would with any girl it's just...well I..." He's rambling.

"I was a distraction."

He looks down at me, thrown off guard by what I've said. "No, no Teef...don't think that. I mean, you're great to hang with, I really love it, I do. And I want to hang out with you more."

"But I make you forget about her, don't I?" I ask, meeting his eyes.

He frowns, his eyes saddened, and nods his head once before sitting down beside of me again.

"But there's something that makes you remember her out of the blue, isn't there?"

He nods again.

"So...we're both in love with someone we can't have, and we're here on a date with each other."

He sort of smirks, and replies yeah.

"Just don't think I want you hear so I can forget..." He states.

I nod my head, "Same here."

"So...we can go out again, right? I mean..."

"I can't love you Zack...and you can't love me."

"I know that...but at least we get each other." He says shifting.

"Do we?"

"Teef," He says, staring me straight in the eye, and taking my hand. "I just want someone who understands me, who gets what it's like to be in my situation...I want someone to keep me in check, to keep me from doing something stupid, and coming between her and the guy she loves. She doesn't love me, right? But I love her, so I'm not going to do anything to jeopardize her relationship with the guy she loves. Sounds crazy right?"

"No...you just want him to be happy." I state, thinking of Cloud.

"See, that's the thing..." He says, excited now. "If I were to take any other girl out, they wouldn't get this...but you do. They'd just think I was some weird guy, but you don't. You _do_ understand me; you do get me. I just want someone there that I can be with, ya know-

"To dull the pain."

"Right."

"And to keep from getting so lonely and jealous, right?"

"Right."

"So what do we do now?"

"I guess we tell our friends that the date went well."

"Zack...I'm going to be honest with you. I love spending time with you, I do. I'd love to do it again...but I don't...it's just..."

"You don't want to commit."

I nod my head quickly.

"Me either. I don't expect you to love me like you love him."

"And I don't expect you to love me like you love her."

"I just need someone."

"Someone who'll understand where I'm coming from."

"So, that's it then?"

"I guess so." I say, and I smile at him.

"You love Cloud, don't you?" He asks, studying me with his eyes.

I gaze back, "Yes."

"God, we really are screwed up."

"Why? Who do you love?"

And he just sort of stares at me, "I don't know if..."

"It's okay." I state as I stand.

I offer him my hand and pull him up and we exit the stadium.

_Maybe it's that no one's there,  
Maybe it's because no one cares.  
I just hurt so much,  
I flinch at everyone's touch.  
I'm calling out for something,  
Letting my voice sing.  
I would fly like a dove  
If I only had someone to love._

**A/N: **Wow! Fast update...like super...This chapter, I've been waiting a while to write this, and I'm glad I finally did. Thanks to everyone for reviewing. And elebelly, I hoep you don't stop reading because of this chappie.

**Meili**: No, I haven't been planning this story for a long time. I actually have built most of this around past experience, and my poems. Most of what I write in this has happened to me. The play, the bus, when we fell asleep, the sleepover, the backseat, numb, and the talk with 'Aerith', the talk w/ 'Jessie', and the prom dress and actually going to prom with 'Cloud'. Although I myself didn't have a Zack, nor what's happened to Tifa in the past...that should be coming up soon. So most of the poems I wrote were results from the incidents that happened.


	9. The Last Blow

Tuesday 12:54

I didn't want to talk about this. I didn't want to write about this, but I suppose...if I'm ever going to come to terms with what happened...I should.

It isn't healthy to not even accept it.

I went to therapy, like they told me too. I did everything I was suppose to, but still paranoia eats at me. I guess this would be the best way to explain why I'm the way I am. Why I flinched at everyone's touch for a few months my sophomore year. Why I ran out of the school building on more than one occasion. Why I haven't exactly been dating.

I was raped.

Yeah yeah, traditional high school sob story. I'm no different from those who've been raped as well. It just eats at me, and I wonder if it eats at other people, too. To feel dirty, and unclean, and just that vulnerable.

It was sophomore year, obviously. I still don't know who did it.

It was just after a baseball game. I was walking out to my car by myself, so I guess I could blame it on me as well. I swear I heard someone calling for help out in the woods. I looked around to see if there was anyone else around, and there wasn't.

Well, I wasn't just going to leave the poor person hanging, right?

I don't know how far back I went into the woods before I got pinned against a tree. There I was, ready to call 911 for the helpless, and the damn bastard knocked my phone from my hand. And the rest's history.

Maybe the actual action wasn't what got to me. It was everything that happened afterwards. I was able to keep it secret for a few days, from the school that is. I told my father...I mean, how do you stay quiet about that? But I couldn't tell anyone else. Let them know I had been tricked into that...been that stupid...that idiotic...to go chasing some strange voice in the woods.

Up until that point and time, I always thought I was the strong one. I mean, I was Tifa...the girl who played basketball and football with the guys...Tifa...the girl who spoke her mind, and wasn't afraid to be a bit of a bitch everynow and then if the need called for it. Tifa...someone who could take care of herself, and her friends. I was the 'strong' girl, physically, I guess...and so that was a part that really scared me. If it happened to me, the 'strong' girl...what about my friends?

I was always around guys. Most of my friends were guys; most girls were to catty to get along with...to...well...girlish. All that time I spent with guys, and it never once crossed my mind of one of them doing it to me. I guess that surprised me. That a guy actually did that to me...especially when they were the ones I trusted the most.

It was about three days later at school that it got out. Maybe I shouldn't have shouted it at the top of my lungs, but I was getting a little angry.

I had been paranoid all day. I couldn't remember anything of my attacker, except for his bright, green eyes. Anyone with eyes that barely even resembled muddled green got glares and bouts of paranoia just spilling off of me. My father tried to convince me to stay home from school for a few days, but I wouldn't. I wasn't going to let it beat me, but it seemed like it already had.

I just had to leave. I had to get out. The school...the guys...the closed rooms. I felt so...vulnerable, and I couldn't trust anyone. Not even Cloud, and I know it hurt him. We had just gotten close, and here I was giving everything that moved within a twelve foot radius eyes of fear. I just wanted to go home, and those stupid people at the front office.

"I just want to go home."

"What's the reason?" Stupid receptionist woman asks.

"I just need to leave."

"Ms. Lockhart, please. Honestly, do you expect me to believe that?"

"Just let me call my dad, he'll give it the okay...I swear."

"I don't know, why don't you wait-

"No! I want to go home _now_." Could she not see the tears in my eyes?

"Please Ms. Lockhart, keep your voice down."

"I won't keep my voice down until you let me go home!"

"Ms. _Lockhart._ If you cannot remain calm and tell me what it is exactly that's got you so wired up, I suggest you leave."

"Do you want to know? Do you really?" I hiss.

"Well, yes."

"I was _raped_."

"...Ex...cuse me?" She blinks with big eyes.

"You heard me. **I was raped!**"

I've just gained the attention of everyone in the office. They're all staring...and I hate it when people stare.

God, why did Cloud have to hear? Why did he have to be on his way to the office? I ran out of there like lightening as that stupid woman sat in disbelief. I ran out, and straight into the last person I wanted to see. I bounced off his chest, and looked up at him. By this time, I had begun to cry.

"Tifa?" Cloud asked.

I look up at him, and I know I'm pleading with my eyes to just try and understand.

"Ms. Lockhart!" The woman comes jogging out of the office. "Please, come back. I didn't know you'd been raped!"

Damn woman.

She freezes, seeing what she's done.

Cloud's eyes go wide, and I can't even bare to look at him. I can't even bare to have him look at me.

So I ran.

I've never ran so fast in my life.

I was ashamed. I was so ashamed. I just wanted to curl up into a ball and never come back...never wake up. I just wanted to sleep. I just wanted to get out...so I ran. And I know he was behind me, and I couldn't face him. I couldn't face anyone. I lost him, though. I doubled back and hid, and I could hear him, his footsteps echoing through silent halls, and yelling my name. He got in so much trouble that day, for disrupting so many classes. I don't know how many teachers he shook off in his attempt to find me.

When the halls finally went silent, I made a mad dash for my car and left the school.

I just happened to catch a glimpse of him in my rear view mirror as my tires squealed.

Needless to say, the school was well informed by the end of the day.

But Cloud didn't give up on me. He was the one that brought me back out of my shell...the reason why I can trust people again, what little I do trust. There for a while, he was my crutch for once...he was the one helping me.

He's the reason why I am who I am today...that I'm still alive on the inside, and not just some broken shell of a girl that use to be...well...if you call this alive...

So...I guess I should let you know why I'm explaining all of this.

Trust.

Why is it everyone has problems with trust? I mean, it's true. Some people are too trusting, some don't trust enough...you never meet that person who knows just who to trust, and who not to.

So while Cloud is bitching at me, I'll reiterate.

People have trust issues. Seriously.

While some are greater than others, they're there all the same. Trust. I hate trust. It really does create such a problem in every relationship you'll ever have. I use to trust too much. Now I can barely trust at all. And yet, it's Cloud here whose talking to me, and making me doubt his trust in everyone.

"I mean...I just..." He's getting flustered.

"Why would you think Aerith was cheating on you?" I ask, exasperated.

"Because...she was flirting...with him, and..."

"Hey, calm down."

"..."

"You really don't trust her do you?"

"No, it isn't that...I just don't trust the guys with her!"

"...Cloud..."

"...It's true."

"You're the worst liar ever, Cloud."

He doesn't respond, merely shrugs.

"You don't honestly think she would cheat on you, do you Cloud?" I can't keep the incredulous tone out of my voice.

I mean, come on...Aerith? Cheat? I don't think so.

"...Don't you remember?" His voice is soft.

"Oh..."

Yeah...how these two first got involved. It was before I met Cloud. Aerith...she cheated on her boyfriend back then...with Cloud.

I've never seen her so guilt-ridden before. It was awful. She got...physically sick. It isn't in Aerith to cheat...but she did. She didn't tell her boyfriend...but she ignored Cloud from that day on for at least a year or more. That, I guess, was how Cloud got so hung up on her.

...And not long after she started ignoring him, I started paying attention to him.

"Cloud...that was a long time ago. Don't you remember how guilty she was?"

"Guilty enough to forget about me."

"Well, obviously she couldn't." I point out.

Why am I trying to save a relationship I wish to doom? I mean, think about it. I could say anything I wanted to right now...just completely trash Aerith...get Cloud on my good side, and hope for the best.

...but I'm not.

I see no point in ruining what they have. If this is what they want, then this is what they'll get. I'm not going to be that petty, that childish. It isn't who I am, and I'm not going to do that to Aerith.

"You just don't trust her Cloud."

He sighs, defeated. "I know...I mean, she's given me reason to not trust her in the past."

True...while Aerith hasn't cheated on Cloud, she's certainly hasn't always been honest with him. I know sometimes that she's lied...just not to hurt him, or to upset him, for his good in the end. But it's always worse when he finds out.

"But she's the person I trust the most."

Crack.

I think...I just cracked in two.

What?

Wait...what?

The person...he has _trust_ issues with...is the person he trusts the most?

Well of course, she's his girlfriend. I already knew that...didn't I? I mean...I did...she should be the one he trusts the most. It's just harder to hear it come from him...I guess. Especially since I've placed all of my trust in him.

It's the harshest blow he's ever dealt.

"...Have I ever done anything...to betray your trust, Cloud?" I ask...my voice small.

"Not that I know of." He merely states.

And I stay silent.

I leave the answer hanging in the air. I want to respond, but I can't. It just leaves me wondering.

How much is my trust to him? Especially when the person he trusts the most...he doesn't trust at all.

**A/N: **Eek! What a chapter...OKAY! SO hopefully that clears up some stuff...Rape...I know...how overplayed? It's something I've been planning from the beginning...and while I wasn't sure if I wanted to go ahead and write this chapter, after the reviews of mass confusion and anger at Tifa's behavior, well...I felt you deserved some sort of explanation as to why Tifa's been so...watered out, and why she's a bit clingy to Cloud. I got a pretty heated review from **Amaranthos**...dude, I loved your review...I seriously did, and I'm glad someone finally noted on how Tifa's acting...out of character. I'm hoping this chapter shed light on to the reason, and I know...trust me, I know. You're angered...but this story has got to play out...I don't want it to be some short little diddy...I'm trying to do some character building...don't worry...Tifa's fiery side will mose definately emerge in due time...she's just working up to it. Trust me...Tifa's fiery wrath of doom shall be known. You're advancing into the plot line! HALT. And God no, Tifa is not going monk. **Rend**, with the Cloud obsession, does this explain? And I guess...with the dress thing...it's more of a girl thing...yeah, you just have to be female to even get half of it...and the other is just for us crazies. That and the fact my mood depends on how depresive Tifa's going to act. Anyways, I hope this chapter explained some of Tifa's...strange behavior...


	10. The Promise

Sunday 10:45 pm

I realize how strange my relationships are right now…my situations with people; I realize this as I hang up the phone after talking to Aerith.

Sitting on my bed, I lean back, tipping my head up.

God, I've been an ass lately.

I've been so caught up with me me me, I have barely even looked around me at my friends. I've been selfish, and it's making me hate me more than I already do.

Aerith's mother just forbid her from dating.

Shera is suffering from Cid being a complete ass.

Cloud is being overprotective and unable to trust.

I don't even know how to explain my relationship with Zack.

Everything around me keeps blowing up in my face, and I hate it. I haven't even talked to my friends lately. I've been too busy trying to keep my problems to myself; I haven't even bothered to help them out with their own.

I press a finger to my temple to try and ease the ache that's formed in my head.

There's a ringing in my ear and I growl with frustration.

Wait…that's my phone.

"Hello?" I ask, sighing.

"Tifa."

"Hey, Cloud."

He sighs.

Great. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing."

"You're a terrible liar, have I told you that before?"

"It doesn't even matter."

"God, Cloud…either tell me or not, please…for the sake of my brain."

He sighs again.

"Okay, I'll tell you about my day." I say, giving up.

"It's just…I know I have issues with trust…I mean, who doesn't, right?"

"Okay, Cloud. Where's this going?"

"Where do you think…"

"What did Aerith do now to possibly compromise your relationship?"

He sighs, "I…there's just something off."

"Cloud, you're overreacting, and you know it."

"No, I'm not."

"Give me an example…what is off exactly?"

"She seems distant…but I can't see a reason why."

Of course, _I _know why…but this is something that she has to tell him, I can't be the one to relay this information.

"You know something." His voice breaking my thoughts.

"What?" I ask.

"You're hiding something…she tells you everything. What's wrong?"

"Cloud..."

"What is it?"

"You can't just _ask _me."

"Why not? You're my friend."

"Yes, I am…but this is your relationship…yours and Aerith's…I'm not always going to be there to pick up the pieces and glue 'em back together."

"That was only slightly harsh."

"Hey, it's who I am; you either love me or hate me."

"That's the truth." He mutters.

"What was that?"

"Nothing."

My eyes narrow, "I hate you."

"Okay."

I growl, "Cloud."

"Okay, you hate me…I get it."

"Cloud! Stop that! You aren't supposed to agree! You're supposed to be sad."

"But…you hate me."

"Exactly, you should be vying for my attention."

"Why?"

"I'm hanging up now."

"Wait! Teef! I still need help."

I sigh, "You want my advice?"

"Yes."

"Ask _her_ you twit."

Click!

That'll leave him thinking. Although I am halfway expecting him to call me back. I wait a moment, and he doesn't. I'll call him back later.

Until then, I'll catch you all up.

Aerith's mother has forbid her from dating, in case you missed it earlier, which would explain her distance towards Cloud. She's afraid to tell Cloud, because we know how he'll react. He's not…confident, Cloud. Especially when it comes to Aerith. He's way too afraid he'll lose her, and he always doubts himself about their relationship. He puts a lot of the blame on Aerith too, which isn't right. Especially considering he gets jealous very easily, and sees things that aren't there…only because he sees himself as inferior, which he shouldn't…

But hey, we all have flaws, right?

So…she doesn't want to tell him, because she's afraid Cloud will think she's just looking for an easy way out of the relationship.

Which is exactly what Cloud will think, which will lead us into a thousand conversations to try and build up what little confidence he had that was just shattered yet again.

I know I was harsh earlier, but I was just getting it all out. I'm waiting for the phone call afterwards, because that's when I'll need to be gentle…that's when I'll need to soothe him, and tell him it's all okay. Not it's 'your relationship fix it yourself' type of advice. I can't do everything for him, but I can help him out with some things.

He still hasn't called, so either he's stalling, or Aerith's having a hard time confessing. Hell, she might not even confess at all, but I hope she does. The more she holds it back is the more it will only hurt them in the long run.

But listen to me, little miss couple counselor. Here I am, yet again, helping the girl that's stolen the heart of the man I love sustain their already shaky relationship. Either I have no faith in myself to ever mean anything to Cloud on that level, or I actually believe those two belong together. I really can't say, and it's rather disturbing.

I mean, look at where my feelings have gotten me: I'm in a relationship with a guy that's good friends with Cloud. And not only that, this guy is in love with a whole different person, but still, we go on dates and talk about our 'problems'. How messed up is that? How is it that I'm playing this game? It isn't right, at least, in my opinion it isn't. And where the heck did Aerith's mom come off forbidding her to date? She's a senior in high school, for God's sake. She's dated before, and honestly, this is just getting old!

Of course, I'm pretty sure I know why Aerith's mom went strict on her dating situation.

I mean, look at her friends. She knew about me, and she knew about Vincent's girlfriend dying a year ago in that car wreck...and well, just look at him now...a shell. Aerith's mom, she puts Aerith under a lot of pressure, whether with grades or anything really. So maybe she's just trying to prevent a lapse in her study habits? I mean, that could have something to do with it sense we're going off to college soon.

A lot of stuff has piled up in the past, but I have no doubt it was triggered by what just happened with Shera. Me and Aerith were having a girl's night at her house, when the poor girl pulled up in tears. It was her _birthday_, people, her eighteenth birthday. And she had wanted to spend time with who? Her one and only: Cid. I mean, don't get me wrong…Cid is Cid. He's always been a bit reckless and careless with people's feelings, but honestly…when she told us he took off for Midgar for a party with a few friends and then called her when he was drunk…I about drove out there to kick his ass myself.

So maybe it wouldn't be so bad if it wasn't for the fact that Shera had reserved this day off for just the two of them. I mean, the girl works, and she told him ahead of time. I don't know what's wrong with Cid.

So, I mean, obviously Elmyra must've heard something or saw something when we were talking. It wasn't that hard to figure out the girl was distressed…and what distresses a girl more than a guy?

Okay, other than bloating. But still.

Maybe she just doesn't want to see her daughter get hurt like that.

I sigh heavily, pressing my forehead against the cool glass of my bedroom window.

It's only a few minutes before I decide to sit out on the roof.

And it's only a few minutes after that I get a call from the one and only.

"Hey." I answer it softly.

"Hey." His voice is defeated, and I pity him in that moment.

I know what's like to chase after that dream, and I know what it's like to have it stolen out beneath your very hands. At least he's still got some reason to hope, but knowing Cloud, he probably won't.

And knowing from experience, it isn't the time for talking.

So we sit for at least ten minutes in silence. I know he just needs that much, just someone to listen to him when he's finally ready to talk. I know he just needs to know there's actually someone there, and I'm always there for him.

So after the ten minute mark comes and goes he finally speaks.

"It's always like this, isn't it?"

"Love normally is, Cloud."

"What? Impossible?"

"Difficult. It's never impossible." I state.

"But does it ever make sense? I just feel like I keep trying for no reason at all."

"Don't you feel it?"

"What?" He asks, perplexed.

"When you're in love…you've got to put a lot of work into it. I mean, to find that special person who'll actually put up with all your faults…you have to work at it."

"And I have been. What have I gotten?"

"No…Cloud…it's not love, if you don't feel it though. When you're so angry, and you're so upset and just want to give it up…and then…they do something that completely just reminds you why you put up with all their crap, and why they put up with you. And it's not a kiss, or a hug or a cuddle moment. It's not an object or an action. That's something anyone can give you. But there's only one person who can give you that feeling that's so strong that you have to stop and say 'Oh…okay. It's okay. You can do that, because I'll always be there for you'."

He swallows.

"Do you feel that when your with Aerith, Cloud?"

He doesn't respond, so I push on.

"I don't mean to sound…negative…I'm just thinking Cloud. You put so much of yourself into this relationship…and I don't want you to get hurt. But it is high school for God's sake…and…well, some relationships aren't meant to last. I just…I don't want…anything bad to happen to you…or to Aerith."

"I know." He responds quietly, and it surprises me.

He's normally very vehement on his and Aerith being together, very passionate. It scares me that he's this subdued over something this small. So what if Elmyra went psycho bitch and banned Aerith from dating? Big deal! There are ways to work around that, and I've already told Aerith I would help them out. It can be worked through.

"Don't give up hope, Cloud."

He sort of laughs at this, and I wince.

"Cloud…"

"Hope betrays us all…you've said it yourself before."

I wince again…not one of my better conversations with him.

"When was the last time you hoped, Tifa?" He asked, deadly serious.

"No, you can't confront me about my problems when we're talking about yours."

"But we haven't talked about yours in forever. You aren't you, Teef. You…you act like you, but you don't tell me anything. God, Teef, we use to spend hours on the phone…even if it was just talking about the most random shit, it was our thing…and we enjoyed it. At least I did…"

"Of course I love talking to you Cloud." My voice soft.

"So that's a problem, Teef. We don't talk anymore, so that isn't just your problem, it's my problem too…so that means it's perfectly liable to bring it up. So why don't you ever hope?"

"I do hope Cloud! I hope all the time! I hope Elmyra is going to come to her senses! I hope Aerith isn't going to crack under the pressure her mom puts her under! I hope Cid doesn't completely screw all the work he and Shera have put into their relationship! I hope Yuffie doesn't lose her spunk, and God, I hope for so many things. I hope that no one will ever hurt the way I do, and I hope no one will ever have to suffer through what I know they're going to suffer through…but that's all I have, as ironic as it sounds…as much as I hate it, hope is all I've got left…and God, Cloud…you…I just hope you don't get hurt…I just hope you don't do something stupid."

He silent for a moment, "Like what, Tifa?"

I sigh, fighting my emotions, "I know you Cloud. I know what you're capable of, and I know how your mind works. I know how people treat you, and I know that even though you seem all strong, I know how sensitive you are, and I know how much things hurt you…and I don't want you to give up… I'm afraid, one day, after being hurt one too many times…you'll hurt yourself." I swallow.

"That was the past, Tifa." His voice is hard.

"But you can't do it, okay? You can't do that." I sniff, wiping my eye quickly. "You have to promise me you won't leave me, Cloud. If anything happens. I don't care if it's with Aerith or with anyone or anything else. I don't care what happens. You have to promise me you won't leave me. Do you understand? Will you promise me that much? Cause…you can't, Cloud…you can't just leave me here by myself. Not alone…I don't want to be alone."

I hear him swallow. "Of course, Tifa."

"Promise me Cloud."

"I promise, Teef…I'm always going to be with you."

**A/N:** HOLY FREAKING COW! Update! Hopefully you guys all get the whole self-inflicted hurt here...if you don't...well, I pity the day you're exposed to the real world. I may dabble into Cloud's past a bit more in upcoming chapters; still rather depressing, eh? But still, I like to think (don't know about all you other people) that it showed Tifa's counseling side, one that's often played off of in stories, and shows how she's always there to help. And a nice Cloud and Tifa moment...and 'the promise' is a really big thing in the game, so they need one outside. And you people remember this! Because, it may very well come bite somebody in the ass in the future...or will it? OR am I just messing with your heads?! That's completely viable. And yes, I know it was very obvious that Tifa had been raped. And one thing you have to understand about Tifa and **Aerith** ... their friendship is put under alot of strain with this whole conflicting love triangle...and more than likely, when something's going to happen that's diary worthy, it's either extremely good, or extremely bad. You girls hear me, right? So you have to understand, Tifa's in the bad spectrum right now, so all it seems is that Aerith is doing bad things. But, she's not...so I guess...if I can get some inspiration for boosting your confidence in Aerith's capacity as a friend, I will gladly do that. Until then, another conflicting chapter in life. **Sephy! **haha, your reviews always crack me up. They're great for mood boosters. HOLY CRAP **Mystical: **Breathe...inhale...exhale...it'll be okay. I appreciate your review, twas awesome, and made me laugh. So, here's another chappie for ya! **Amaranthos: **I call everyone a dude...dude...bwhahaha! I've been slack on exploring Tifa and Aerith's friendship...and I keep forgetting no one knows how close they are! So I keep forgetting to write a scene about it...Lord, I'm awful. **Biankia chan! **Your reviews are so kind, thank you! No unfortunately boy problems seem to follow me (one in particular) And if I wrote this out like it was my actual life in entirety...well...let's just say this would be a Clorith story.

Till next time, loves!


	11. Best Friends

Wednesday 4:38 pm

Well, it's safe to say it's been a while since I've done this, let my mind just sort of release everything and giggle senselessly about absolutely nothing.

Currently I'm sitting at the window seat in Aerith's room. Well, technically I'm laying, my feet propped up on the wall, my head resting in the middle of the seat. Aerith is doing the same, opposite to me, so that my shoulder lines up with her head, and my head with her shoulders.

It's hard to eat watermelon lying down.

I giggle again as watermelon juice slides down my cheeks, and Aerith glances over, laughing at me. I spit a seed out of the corner of my mouth, and she screams when it hits her shoulder.

"Augh! Tifa!"

I laugh again, and she flicks it off of her before settling back down.

We've done this since we were kids, especially when it rained, so we could watch the water run down the window. Except, back then, we could stretch out on the bench, instead of having to prop our feet up halfway up the wall.

We're strange, I know.

I met Aerith in the second grade, I mentioned that, right?

We're close...the three of us; her, Cloud and I.

We've all got something in common, even if we don't want it.

Cloud lost his father when he was born. I lost my mother in second grade. Aerith, well, Aerith is adopted. That's right, Elmyra isn't even her real mother. Her mother passed in childbirth, and her father followed her a few years later.

I remember way back when I lost my mother...there's no way to express that feeling, you know? And I was a child...it's hard to understand the concept of death as a child...or, at least for me it was. Still, all I knew was that _everyone_ treated me differently. Even my friends, even at such a young age. I think it was their parents influence.

I found it hard to laugh, and smile, because my mother had been my best friend. She'd been my playmate, and my teacher, my friend, and my mother. She was everything I wanted or could've ever wanted from a mother, and I loved her, and still do.

I want to be like her when I grow up.

Still, no one tried to bring me out of that shell, you know? For a while, I was hollow almost, and my father was still dealing with his depression to tackle my own, let alone notice it.

It was Aerith. When she moved here it was evident that she was different than us all in that class. She was smarter, and cuter, and sweeter. Everyone fell in love with her. I mean, how could you not? She was perfect, and yet she'd lost both her parents. She'd known since childhood that Elmyra wasn't her mother. She remembered her father.

She choose to be my friend, to help me. When everyone else walked on eggshells around me, she'd come running up. She made it okay to laugh, and be happy again when I had convinced myself it was wrong, that it was wrong to be happy when I wouldn't see my mother again.

And as the years went by, my father came out of his depression, a little after me. Still, it was hard getting into a system, it was hard relating with each other. He looked at me, I know now, he looked at me and saw my mother on some level, and that hurt him. I think it helped him though, a little bit. I remember once sitting on his lap in that stage where I still thought I was a child, and it'd be that way forever. He had rested his hand on my head as we sat there in silence, and suddenly said, "At least I have you, baby girl."

For some reason, that memory stands out among the others. I love my father, and I know he loves me, too. And it wasn't as hard, after that moment, relating with each other. It wasn't as hard as I grew up, which is usually the opposite. While people around me like Yuffie, were fighting with their fathers, I was getting to know mine. We help each other, and I'm proud to say that, that we have a strong relationship.

Elmyra helped to teach me how to cook, so I could make meals for my father as I got older. And Aerith started teaching me about plants, and flowers. She gave me seeds to plant on my mother's grave. And it's beautiful when I visit her now, my mother. There's ivy and flowers crawling along her grave, and clinging to her gravestone. It doesn't make the pain go away; nothing can do that. However, it makes me remember what I loved about my mother, and why I want to be like her.

It also helps me to remember what Aerith's done for me, and how she's stuck by my side through thick and thin. How she's taught me things, and I've taught her things. And, how much I've been neglecting her lately. How much I've been putting my feelings before hers, and blowing things off.

...And she's still here.

That's why I cling to Aerith. I cling to Aerith because she knows me better than anyone, and she knows how to pull me out of things I can't handle. She knows how to put things right, and that's what's hurting us right now.

I can see it in her eyes when she regards me now. She knows something's wrong. She's known since it happened, since it started. And she wants me to tell her what's wrong, I can tell.

But I'm also not that child anymore that she saved. I'm old enough to make my own decisions, and what's safe to tell her and what isn't, and she understands that, and respects that, even if she doesn't like it. I'm afraid though, she thinks I don't trust her anymore. I do trust her though, it's just...as good as Aerith is, everyone has their breaking points, their pet peeves, and I don't know how _I_ would handle it if she ever told me she was in love with my boyfriend.

I just can't.

Even still, I know what she's doing. Even if I won't tell her, and even if she knows I'm not going to, she's still helping me. She's helping me to relax, to calm down and take a step back. She's helping me to stay out of the depths of mind all the time.

Even if she doesn't know what's wrong, and even if she can't fix it, she's still helping. She's still trying.

That's why she's my best friend, a true friend, and that's the reason why I can't tell her...why I can't put her through that pain, or confusion.

I've just got to fall out of love with Cloud (don't know if that's possible) or, I've got to make it so it doesn't bother me that those two date...it doesn't bother me.

They are their own people, and can do what they want, and I'll support them.

It doesn't bother me what they do.

"Tifa?" her voice is soft, as she glances at me.

"Hmm?" I glance back over at her, tearing my gaze from the window.

"I said, have you made your hair appointment yet, for prom? It'll be in a few weeks you know," she smiles here, "Mom's wanting pictures of you."

I smile back, "Yes, ma'am. I've made all my appointments. I don't know what we're doing about pictures. You know Cloud's mom, she'll be all over the place."

Aerith nods her head wisely, "She will. Beware the panicky mother."

I snort, "Like you're one to talk."

"Are you calling my mother panicky?"

"And yourself."

She gasps, "Ti-fa! You're so cruel."

I shrug, "Can't help it. You're panicky, and I'm cruel. We make the perfect team."

"We're talking world domination, right?"

"Precisely."

She laughs again, before standing and stating she's going to go wash her hands. My gaze drifts back to the window after she leaves, and I swallow.

After all she's done for me, I've got to do at least this much. I can't let myself interfere with their relationship.

**A/N: **It's been a while, I'm aware. This chapter was necessary, to bring up the fact of why and how Tifa and Aerith are close...since I said I need to bring that to case and point. I mean, the problem I find with most fics is how people portray them as hating each other, and it isn't as simple as that, especially when you do incounter a love triangle as connected as Tifa/aerith/cloud. Cause they're all close, and people don't get that. They just put the girls as not talking to each other, which annoys me. ah well, I suppose I haven't been good with that aspect in this story, which I'm trying to repair with this chapter. Thanks for the reviews everyone! Till next time!


	12. Warmth

Monday 3:37 PM

Zack told me to meet him in the gym today after school, at 3:30. I still don't see him anywhere, but my attention has been caught. There's two guys on the far side of the gym, fencing. They're both about the same size, broad shoulders, lean and tall. However, one is taller, and he moves with more grace than the other, more ease and skill.

They've assembled quite a crowd too, each cheering on the two fighters. The shorter one laughs when he stumbles and falls, dodging a vicious strike from his opponent. I recognize that laugh.

"Zack?" I move forward, pushing my way through the line of people.

Zack is still laughing as I reach the front of the crowd, his face just below me as I stop at the edge of the mat. The mask stares blankly back at me, but he's still laughing.

"Hey! There you are, Teef!" his voice is muffled slightly, but he whips his hand up and pulls his mask off.

"What…what are you doing, Zack?"

"Fighting an intense battle, of course; for glory, honor…and perhaps a date?" he grins.

I roll my eyes, before reaching out to pull him up. He jumps as I pull him up, grinning widely.

"Zack…are you okay?"

"Perfect."

"You're sort of freaking me out, here."

"Zackary has quite the track record with that, miss," the other guy says, walking up.

Did he just call me '_miss_'?

Strange.

The guy reaches up, pulling off his mask, and I am envious of his hair. It's long, probably just as long as mine if not longer, very healthy, and it's silver. Whoa. Nifty. I look up, meeting his eyes. He's got a strong face, serious expression, and green eyes.

Green.

"Ah, Ti, I'd like you to meet my older brother, Sephiroth."

I blink, surprised. I didn't even know Zack had a brother, and…what a name.

As if Zack reads my mind, he leans over into my ear, "Family name, you know…carry on the honor and what not. He's the fifth."

"Pleasure," Sephiroth the fifth extends his hand, and I shake it slowly, "I'm assuming you are the infamous Tifa Lockhart?"

"Nice to meet you, Sephiroth," I turn towards Zack, "Infamous?" I ask, confused.

Zack elbows his brother in the gut, or attempts as Sephiroth easily evades it.

"Oh wait; you just did a no no," Zack interrupts, patting his brother on the back, "Ya see, no one calls Sephiroth Sephiroth except for dad, cause he's all serious like. We like to call him Sephy."

I think I just heard Sephiroth growl.

Excuse me, Sephy.

Sephiroth turns his deadly gaze on his brother, and Zack gives a small laugh, "Or…rather, sometimes, we like to call him Sephy without the –y cause just the –y can really freaking piss him off. And, since we don't have the rights to use Sephy-kins—

"Zackary—

"Mother's choice name, we just call him Seph…to avoid death and disfiguration."

"O…kay…"

"I apologize for my brother's antics. I don't see how you put up with him," Sephiroth sighs, annoyed.

Zack throws an arm around my shoulders, "Oh, and another fun fact…Seph has massive vocabulary that will just…like…blow your mind. Crazy talk, that's what I call it. See, Seph here graduated a couple years ago. He's helping me out with fencing, so I can look more natural for the play."

"You do fencing on a regular basis?" I ask Sephiroth.

He nods his head curtly.

"And you didn't?" I ask Zack.

"Nope, I was more of a basketball kid. While I went to basketball practice, he went to fencing lessons. When I played video games, he memorized the dictionary."

Zack ducks a fist, playfully laughing it off.

"That's…interesting…I would've never figured you two for brothers," I state, noting the physical differences.

"Yes, get that a lot. I'm adopted," Zack grins.

Sephiroth rolls his eyes, a bored expression, "Wouldn't doubt it," he mutters.

"No, seriously, Seph just takes after mother-dearest. I take after pops," Zack states.

"Well, Zackary, since we are done here, I must get going."

Zack frowns, "Aw, already Seph?"

Sephiroth sighs, "Yes, already. So soon, I know…such a tragedy," he turns his attention to me, "It was a pleasure, Tifa."

I nod my head, "The same."

Zack, with his arm still around me, turns me, leading me out of the gym, "You smell," I say.

"Thank you."

"I didn't know you had a brother."

"Yep, he was the artsy smartsy type. They've still got a few of his paintings up around the school. For as cold, and stiff as he is, he's a really amazing painter."

"He did seem…different."

Zack frowned slightly, shrugging, "I know. He just takes a while to warm up to people. He's like…a genius, perfect…one of those guys. I'm in his shadow, tragic, I know. Seriously, though…he liked you."

"How can you tell? He was so…emotionless, other than bored and annoyed at you, which I could see why—

"Ouch."

"—how can you tell? I mean, he was polite and everything, but…he wasn't very friendly or warm."

Zack laughs, tipping his head back, "The people he doesn't like…"

"Yeah?"

"…He won't even look at them, let alone spare a few of his precious words to them."

Tuesday 12:53 AM

They say dreams are a way to escape from reality, even nightmares. I wish I had dreams; I wish I had nightmares, but I don't have nightmares.

I have memories.

My teeth are chattering, and I can't figure out if it's from being scared, or if it's cause I'm cold.

I curl up, wrapping my arms around me knees, shaking in the dark. It's good when it's dark, I can't see anything to scare me, and if there is something there, they can't see me.

But I can hear everything, and I know it's just my house settling, but I'm still freaking out. I wish my dad was awake, but he's downstairs, sleeping peacefully. So I'll just stay here, and sit, and wait it out.

How do you wait out a memory?

I can hear my cell phone going off, muffled and distorted through the door to my closet. There's barely enough room on the floor for me to sit and my clothes brush the top of my head, but I'm not moving. I forgot my cell phone when I ran from my bed. This is the seventh time it's gone off.

I felt too exposed, like anyone could just see me. I had to get away from that, I had to. My teeth are still chattering, and my knees are knocking together, so I bury my face in my knees, breathing heavily.

I'm happy, all things considered; after everything that's happened, I'm a relatively happy, positive person. I've got friends, and I've got my dad, and I love them. I'm a pretty good student, and I can kick ass, and I love my hair. I have a good life, I'm lucky.

I guess this is how it evens out then. I like the night time, and I like the moon and stars, and I like sleeping; trust me, I am not a morning person. Still, nighttime betrays me…I guess it's because I have time to remember, I have time to let my mind wander, and that's bad.

I wish my mother was here. When I would have nightmares as a kid, she'd lay down in bed with me until I fell asleep. Half the time, though, I would wake up when she left, and after she closed the door, I'd roll over to the spot where she'd been sleeping. It would still be warm, so it'd be like she was still there, and I wouldn't have another nightmare that night.

There is no warmth for me to curl up into anymore after I wake up from a memory. I can't even pretend that she's there anymore. There is no warmth.

The first footsteps I hear, I tell myself it's the house again, even though I don't believe it.

When the door to my closet opens, I close my eyes and wince, whether out of fear or the sudden change in light I don't know.

"Hey, hey now," his voice his soft as he kneels beside of me, "Tifa. Come on, it's okay."

He slips one arm beneath my knees, and another around my back, and grunts once as he lifts me up and out of my closet. He shushes me, and his breath ruffles my hair as I curl deeper into his chest.

This isn't the first time Cloud's done this. It certainly isn't the last time, either, probably. I always tell him not to, but he does anyway, and he knows that I always appreciate this.

Usually, when this happens, I remember to grab my cell phone, and either wait for Cloud to call me, or I'll call him.

This is the fifth time he's actually came over here and gotten me out of my closet.

Cloud and I are night owls, or rather, I'm a night owl, and Cloud suffers from insomnia. Normally talking on the phone helps to calm him down enough that he can rest, and I'm normally up anyways. Rarely will I fall asleep before he calls, but if I do, I'll wake up and answer my phone, anyways. That's how he knows something is off if I don't answer the phone.

He sets me down in my bed, and I stare straight ahead, his hand still resting on my back.

"You okay?"

I nod my head slowly, "Did you put the key back?"

"Yes."

I nod my head again, "You didn't have to come."

He smirks, "It was only...what, five minutes?" his smirk falls, and his eyes become concerned, "Do you want to talk about it?"

I nod my head no.

"Are you still cold?"

He really doesn't even need to ask these questions anymore, they're always the same answer. Still, he does, and when I nod my head yes, he wraps my blanket around my shoulders, and throws an arm around me, and I hug him, and lean against him, desperate for warmth, and a friend.

I wake up for a moment, when he brushes my hair off my forehead. I crack an eye to see him walking towards my bedroom door, tiptoeing softly across the carpet, and shutting the door even softer behind him, glancing up to make sure I didn't wake.

When I hear him start his motorcycle up, I roll over to the side of the bed he was sitting on, and pretend he's still there.

**A/N:** Been a while, I know. I know last chapter was short, and this one was a bit, but hopefully the addition of Seph will make it all better. Weren't expecting that, were you? Anyways, I love all the reviews, you're all so kind. Thank you, seriously, that's what keeps me motivated for this story. As long as you keep reading, I"ll keep writing. Anyways, that last part isn't necessairily suppose to be romantic. If you wish, you can take it that way, or not, it's just suppose to show you how close they are.


	13. Let It Begin

Let It Begin

Saturday 2:53 PM

"Hello?"

"Hello love! How are you today?"

Aerith's in a chipper mood.

"Fine," I garble into my phone.

I swear, either Aerith's psychic or I'm really just unlucky. She always calls at the worst times. Currently, I'm brushing my teeth.

"So…have you got your nails done?"

"Yes."

"Hair?"

"Yes."

"Ohhh Tifa!" she squeals, "I cannot wait to see you! You were so pretty last year…I'm so excited to see you get all dolled up."

"Woo…"

She scoffs, "Now Tifa, don't be so disagreeable. When's Cloud picking you up?"

"Erm…I think at six…so we can run by his house and let his mom get pictures. Then we're off to eat."

"Think? Tifa dear, you must do better than that. Anyways, there was a change in plans. You know how it was me, Tseng, Elena and Reno?"

"Yeah," spit, rinse, drink.

"Well," she drawls, "It seems as though Reno was last minute denied, dropped, and smacked down by Elena."

"What'd he do this time? Pinch, grab or grope?"

"All of the above."

I snort, loser.

"So, Elena's going with Rude. Personally, I'm glad. Rude's much nicer—

"And quieter," I move into my bedroom.

"Seriously. He's a gentleman, which is something I appreciate, and I think Elena will too."

"Dude…you better hope she doesn't go sour on you for being with Tseng," I grunt, trying to dig through my closet, looking for my dress.

Aerith sighs, "She overreacts, I swear. We're just friends! I don't understand why _she_ can't understand that."

"Jealousy," I reply, my mind half there, "It can turn kitties into monsters."

"…You're weird."

"Yeah, whatever. Listen, I got to go. I'll see you tonight, okay?"

"You're no fun. Have fun at supper!"

"Will do. Bye." I click off the phone, turning and tossing it on my bed swiftly.

Where is my bloody dress?!

I sigh, turning quickly and thunder down the steps.

"Dad! Dad!"

"Yeah?" he calls from the kitchen.

"Have you seen my—

I stop short, staring at the scene before me. My dad's sitting at the kitchen table, a big grin on his face. There's a dress hanging off the door to his bedroom.

I gasp.

It's beautiful, absolutely stunning. It's a vibrant red, with sleeves that drape off the side. Its close fitted, and flares out at the bottom.

"D-dad…?"

He sighs, standing slowly, "I know I told you…that you needed to buy your own dress…since…we're a bit hard pressed for money. But…I figured what the hell? I've got a beautiful daughter to dote on…so…I doted."

"Dad! It's gorgeous!" I throw my arms around his neck, and he chuckles.

"Your other dress…was pretty too. But…your mother looked so good in red, and so do you," he says, releasing me.

I walk over to the dress, marveling at its simple beauty.

"You didn't have to dad, really," I say, taking the dress into my hands, "But I love it."

"I'm glad, I was hoping you would. I figure you can still use your jewelry, and your gloves with it. I mean…not that I'm good with that sort of stuff. And it should fit you…I took it by the same place you got your other dressed fitted at."

"Dad! You're amazing…it's amazing. Thank you, so much."

He blushes, easily embarrassed, "I know your mother…would've wanted to see you…all dressed up. I-I I don't know…how good of a father I've been to you, Tifa."

"Dad…"

"No, no," he holds up his hand, "Let me finish. You're…you're all I have got, Tifa. I wish I could give you more, than what I have…but I can't. So…I need to do these things for you while I've still got the ability, and the chance."

"Daddy…"

"I love you, Tifa. Now give me another hug."

I laugh, and hug my father again.

"I love you, too."

5:54 PM

"Cloud, you're early."

"Only a couple minutes, Mr. Lockhart."

There's hearty laugh from my father, as I stand there nervously in the living room. My hair's done up half way with braids, with curls falling down my back and around my face, framing it. I'm still amazed at how the hairdresser managed to get all of my hair up into this twist. It's crazy. I put on make-up, and I'm still not sure how good a job I did with that. I really don't wear it that often, and it's kind of annoying. I did wear my gloves, and my pearls, though, even with the sudden change. Apparently my father has good taste in dresses.

Cloud comes around the corner, not seeing me, still talking to my father. I'm glad the two have a good relationship, and they can joke with each other.

However, at this point and time I'm focusing on how handsome Cloud looks in an all black tuxedo with a silver vest. It's very classy, and it only seems to make the bright color of his hair and the intensity of his eyes greater.

He raises his eyes, and sees me, blinking slowly. His mouth parts a bit.

I blush, and blink back, unsure what to do or what to say.

"H-hey," I mumble, averting my eyes, and that seems to shake him from his shock.

"Hey…you…look…beautiful."

I beam at the compliment.

My father ushers us to stand before the fire place, and he takes a few pictures, before we're shipped off to the Strife family home.

Her mother gushes over my dress, and hugs me tightly. I think I see tears in her eyes. She takes a few pictures of us outside, and then we're off again.

It's sort of awkward in the car. I don't remember seeing much of Cloud at last year's prom, and so, I don't think he's quite grasped the fact that I can dress up.

He clears his throat as we drive down the road, "So…Aerith told me your dress…was white. Was she wrong?"

I grin, happy, "No. My father surprised me with this one."

"Really?" Cloud chuckles easily, "That was great of him."

"I know," I can't keep the grin off my face for more than one reason.

We're going to this little place called Celtic Café. It's a cute little restaurant, and they even have live music tonight…course, it's only like a flute, harp and a violin, but it's very soothing. I feel sort of awkward at supper. It's sort of weird being out with him…like this; you know, all dressed up and feeling like were prom dates but not prom 'dates'. I don't really mind, even if it is a bit awkward right now, it feels right somehow.

We order dessert and Cloud pays for the supper, ever the gentleman. He even holds my door open for me when we get in the car. It's crazy seeing him so polite; he almost seems as nervous as me. Course, once again, we've never been out like this before. Still, I don't think my smile's fallen once since he arrived at my house.

When we arrive at the prom, the parking deck is already pretty full. We're about a half hour late, but I don't mind walking to the building even in heels. I feel special, and I guess that's the reason why girls always make such a big deal out of prom. Cloud catches up with me, laughing at how I can out walk him in my heels and good naturedly offers me his arm. I hook my arm through his and we enter the building.

There's stars hanging from the ceiling, and most of the colors that decorate the wall are blue or black or silver. There's a DJ all the way on the other side of the room, and a curtain dividing it for pictures. Cloud and I waste no time getting pictures, and I only blush slightly when Cloud has to wrap his arms around me from behind for the picture.

We quickly move out onto the dance floor, searching for the table where most of our friends will more than likely be.

That's the other thing about prom; everything's so beautiful, and everyone looks beautiful and elegant…well, except for those girls with little to none fashion sense. I think I just saw a rainbow puffball and a gold disco ball go walking by me. Scary.

"Tifa!" There's a girlish squeal, and Yuffie flings herself at me, knocking me away from Cloud.

She looks cute in a shimmering teal dress. I see Shera with Cid in the corner. She's wearing a pale green dress that's loose on her, but somehow looks right. Barret, Vincent, and Reno are there, Reno looking even more depressing than Vincent. Vincent seems in good spirits, I think Yuffie's his date. How she actually got him to come to prom is beyond me, but I'm glad he did. He's even wearing his kilt.

"Hey, Tifa…you look nice," Reno is surprisingly polite.

Maybe his little spat with Elena taught him something, "Thanks…Reno…"

"Ah! Tifa!" I'd recognize that voice anywhere.

Aerith hugs me from behind, squeezing me tighter than her tiny body should allow.

"Ack, Aerith…please…I need to breathe."

She spins me around quickly, holding me out at arms length, "Oh _wow_! Why didn't you tell me you got another dress! You're…you're stunning Tifa!"

I giggle, "Thanks, so are you Aerith. Dad got it for me."

She shakes her head in disbelief, "You look so elegant…isn't that right, Cloud?" she hip bumps Cloud to get his attention.

He blushes slightly, "Uh, yeah."

"Gawd, Cloud, be poetic about it," she laughs, high spirits.

She's practically glowing tonight; I can tell she's probably the happiest person here.

Aerith moves to pull Cloud in for a hug, but it seems even that can't faze me tonight. I'm into much of a good mood. I glance around, catching Reno's sullen mood before grabbing his hand and pulling him out of his chair.

"H-hey!"

"Come on Reno! I want to dance," I pull him out towards the dance floor before he can protest, Cloud staring on in disbelief over Aerith's head.

It's a fast upbeat song, and I think I'm a terrible dancer, but the point of this is to cheer him up. I don't want anyone regretting their senior prom.

I grab Reno's hands, and before I know it, he's leading me through the dance, twirling me and spinning me. I'm somehow not falling and breaking my nose; I think he's holding me up, but he's laughing and smiling now, which is the way Reno should be. He's definitely an upbeat guy.

I catch a large silhouette out of the corner of my eye, and I slowly stop Reno.

"Rude!"

"Hey man, what's happening!" Reno pulls Rude over.

Apparently there are no hard feelings between the two.

"We're dancing with Tifa, Rude."

We're?

My jaw drops as Rude suddenly drops down and spins on the top of his head, Reno following with some type of handstand maneuver.

My God they're break dancing.

After this quick realization, I bust into laughter, marveling at how Rude's sunglasses manage to stay on…wait…why is he wearing sunglasses?

A small crowd forms to watch the two in action, laughing and cheering them on. By the end of the song, the two are breathless, but Reno's face is bright, more of himself. He lays a hand on my shoulder for just a second and nods his thanks before taking off.

I grin after him.

That's when I spy Zack, and I quickly move towards him. When I reach him, I throw my arms around his back before he sees me. He jumps, and gives a startled cry, and I look up at him grinning.

"Wow, I wish beautiful girls threw themselves at me all the time. I mean, I know I look fine in this tux, but damn."

"Zack!"

He laughs, hugging me back before releasing me.

"You do look great, though, Teef."

"Thanks…you don't look so bad yourself."

"Well, judging at the way you practically threw yourself at me—

"Zack?" There's a voice from behind, and surprisingly I recognize it.

Zack looks up, a lot of different emotions running behind his eyes. I see him blink, and swallow; I've never seen him look like this before. It must be her; the girl Zack's in love with.

I turn slowly, knowing who it is but still not believing it until I see her.

"Hey, Tifa…Zack…"

He swallows, "Shera…?"

**A/N:** bum bum bum! You guys were _so _expecting Aerith...I know...but I just...I just had to! You guys are going to love the next chapter, and I promise, it'll probably be out this week or next week unless something comes up. I've got such big plans for this story...I've got it planned out to the end...I just need to write it XD...it'll be epic, expect lots more chapters. now, excuse me for a moment while I squee with ultimate joy Ahem **SEPHY!** EHMAGAWD! I missed you so much! I hope you're feeling better and can catch up with everything soon and I'm sorry for not replying you (I'm a ditz) WHAT HAPPENED?! Well...that's a little nosy of me...don't tell me, I'm just glad your gravy and back! **Biskitty **Prepare for romance. **Mako! **been awhile, hope you're doing well! ANYWAYS...thanks for reviews loves!


	14. Time After Time

--

Zack looks up, a lot of different emotions running behind his eyes. I see him blink, and swallow; I've never seen him look like this before. It must be her; the girl Zack's in love with.

I turn slowly, knowing who it is but still not believing it until I see her.

"Hey, Tifa…Zack…"

He swallows, "Shera…?"

--

Saturday 10:37 PM

I stand there, caught in turmoil of emotions, looking from Zack to Shera, then back again. I am so damn confused.

"Shera," I almost have a disbelieving laugh to my voice, "You know Zack?"

Shera gives her sweet smile, "Yeah…we grew up together. Been awhile, hasn't it, Zack?"

Zack isn't saying anything. For once, he's speechless which is quite the shocker. He numbly nods his head to answer Shera's question, but I still have so many for both of them. One being why Shera didn't tell me she knew Zack; she knew I'd been hanging out with him a lot lately.

"So…" Shera says slowly.

Yeah, that was definitely an awkward silence.

There's a lot of feeling coming from both of them. Zack, I can tell he's at a loss of what to do because he obviously wasn't expecting to see Shera, and if he was, he probably didn't figure for her searching him out. Shera, while I can tell Shera cares about him (she is one of my best friends) I know she loves Cid with all her heart…but it's obvious she holds a special place for Zack.

"Where are you heading for college, Zack? I never heard…"

He never told her. She never asked him because I can already tell these two don't talk as much as they'd like. I wander if it has something to do with Cid?

"Uh…Gongaga U. Have…"

"No, I haven't made a decision yet."

I want to ask her where Cid is, because I have this feeling that he's a big reason for the gap in their relationship. I feel out of place, awkward, and almost trespassing on this sacred moment. I should walk away.

But I can't, because I can't abandon Zack here.

I sigh inwardly.

"Shera, what're you doing over here?" It's Cid's gruff voice.

I see Shera twitch, and Zack stiffens considerably. God, I hope he doesn't lash out at Cid and try and beat him up. Cid's my friend too, for all the rough edges he has.

"Sorry, Cid. I saw Tifa…and Zack; you were in the bathroom so I stepped over here to talk to them for a bit," Shera smiles.

The tension is suffocating to the point of insanity, and Zack still hasn't taken his eyes off of Cid. We need to leave.

"Cid…"

"Zack…"

I grasp on to Zack's arm, and he flinches, caught off guard. Cid's eyebrow rises.

"Come on Zack, let's go dance. It was good seeing you two again," I say, pulling Zack away from the two.

I don't think it was the confrontation either Zack or Cid wanted. I think they were going for more of words and fists than walking away, but I'm not about to see a fight break out between these two.

I slowly tug Zack away; he's reluctant to leave, but I somehow get him out to the dance floor. I put his hands on my waist, and put my hands on his shoulders. This seems to wake him up a bit.

"You okay?" I ask.

"Yeah, thanks," his voice is still distant, though.

Zack lips press together, glancing over his shoulder towards where we were. Cid and Shera are already gone, and he sighs, frustrated.

"That's okay—

"She knows how I feel about him…"

I blink, "Sorry, what?"

Zack sighs again, meeting my eyes, "She knows I don't like him…it doesn't matter how I feel about her, the fact of the matter is that he doesn't deserve her."

"Zack…"

"He says he loves her but I sure as hell don't believe that. I don't know what to believe."

"He's my friend, too, Zack. I know it's hard to believe but he isn't that bad."

"Yes, yes he is. He's terrible. He doesn't know how to be in a relationship, and he keeps me and Shera apart even as friends."

"He can probably see—

"Yeah, he knows…" Zack mutters to the side, "Distract me."

"What?"

"Distract me…I don't want to think about them anymore at all. I never want to think about that again."

I swallow, "Um, okay."

I need a topic…oh, here we go.

"I'm going to Midgar," I say.

"When?" Zack asks, his eyes darting around.

He's still distracted.

"Um…for college."

Zack freezes, our already slow dancing halting. He looks down at me with wide eyes actually there for the first time in the past five minutes.

"Excuse me?"

"Yeah," I breathe, "I'm going to Midgar University…for biology. You're the first person I've told, so don't tell anyone—

"You haven't told _Cloud_?"

I shake my head guiltily.

"So he still thinks you're going to Corel with him and Aerith?" Zack asks, Shera out of mind for the moment.

"I never agreed to that," I say, shaking my head, "I never said I wanted to go to Corel with them."

Zack's looking around wildly, "But Midgar…is like a whole other continent. I mean…the tuition—

"I got a really good scholarship there—

"And just the traveling between…" he stops, "Are you coming back to Nibelheim? Not even for holidays or stuff like that?" he asks, his voice soft.

I feel my throat tighten, "No…probably not," I say quickly, "My dad went to Midgar in January. He's already got an apartment and a job lined up for me in July."

Zack's hands fall from my waist, "So…"

"I can't afford to travel between continents that much, Zack. You know that…and D-dad's company is moving to Midgar in two years anyways…so he'll be down there and—

"You haven't told Cloud?"

I close my eyes in pain, "No, Zack…I haven't told Cloud—

"Cause you have to tell him eventually. You can't just leave," he puts his face in his hands, "God thanks for distracting me."

"Zack, I'm sorry," I put a hand on his back, "I know it seems sudden, but I've been planning this for a long time."

"No one goes to Midgar! It's too far, and too expensive. How are you going to manage there without your friends?"

"I'll be fine, Zack. I can take care of myself."

"Yeah, but…"

"Zack," I cut him off.

He looks up at me, forcing a sad smile, "Yeah…alright," he throws his arm around my shoulders, "So, biology huh?" he says, trying to lighten the moment.

"Yeah," I smile, "biology."

Saturday 11:45 PM

"Zack, this is Aerith…Aerith, Zack," I've pulled Zack over for introductions.

Aerith hasn't had the pleasure of meeting him yet. They both smile at each other as I introduce them. They both respond easily; Zack and Aerith have both got the personalities where it's easy to make friends with anyone. I leave them to their own devices when I spot Cloud sitting at the table.

"Hey," I sit down beside of him.

He offers a weak smile, "Zack's flirting with Aerith."

I glance over before laughing, "And Aerith's flirting with Zack. They should be good friends."

"I swear it's amazing how they don't realize what they do to other people," Cloud's voice is light.

I laugh again, "Yeah…they're a pair, that's for sure," I turn my attention to him, "So, how are you?"

"Pretty good…entertained."

I grin, but a bit of guilt is weighing on my words from my conversation with Zack earlier, "Have you seen Cid or Shera?"

"Not for a while. Why?"

"No reason, just curious."

He smiles, "Yuffie got Vincent to dance…that was entertaining."

I laugh, "I bet so…wish I could've seen it."

"Well, if you hadn't disappeared…where'd you go off to, anyways?"

"Ah, just went and found Zack," I gesture towards him.

He's still talking with Aerith easily.

"I wonder who'll stop talking first…Zack or Aerith?"

"It'll be a tie," I say, grinning at him again, "We need to go soon…prom's almost over."

"Yeah…you get to see everyone you wanted to?"

"Let's see…Aerith, Zack, Shera, Cid, Yuffie, Vincent, Reno, Rude, Tseng, Elena, Barret, Jessie, Biggs, Wedge…I think that covers everyone important…"

"What, you didn't want to see me?"

"I thought you were just my driver."

"Ouch, thanks."

I laugh, and Cloud grins.

"Hey, you didn't deny it. So, what're we going to do after this? I know Aerith and Tseng and that group is going to movies at Tseng's house…but I don't really feel like movies…what about you?" I ask.

"I have an idea."

Saturday 12:32 AM

"Cloud," I grin as we get out of the car.

"What?" he asks, still sitting in the driver's seat.

I just grin at him over my shoulder before walking barefoot out into the center of the football field. Stargazing, it's been awhile.

"Hey, wait up a second…" Cloud calls.

I glance over my shoulder. Both of the doors to his car is open, and the lights are on. He's leaning across the driver's seat and I can hear him surfing through radio stations.

"What're you doing?" I ask, walking back towards the car.

"…dance…"

"What?" I ask.

His head pops out of the car, "I said, we didn't get to dance at the prom. Every time there was a song, you weren't there."

"Aw, Cloud…you want to dance with me."

He flushes, "Well, you _are_ my prom date. I don't think it'd seem right," he goes back to radio surfing.

"What kind of song are you looking for?"

"I'll know it—Ah…here we go," he turns the volume up, "Ultimate cheese."

"Oh, you got our prom dance song as cheesy? Thanks Cloud," spinning around in a circle, bored, starring up at the sky.

I hear soft guitar music, and I pause from my little dance.

_"Lying in my bed I hear the clock tick, and think of you. Caught up in circles of confusion is nothing new."_

My jaw drops and I look towards Cloud, "This is not a cheesy song! It's sweet! And beautiful! You're such a guy!"

_"Flashback – warm nights almost left behind. Suitcase of memories, time after sometime—_

Cloud smirks from his position at his car, staring at me.

"Well come on if you want to dance, the song will be over before you get out here!"

He laughs.

_"Sometimes you picture me—I'm walking too far ahead. You're calling to me, I can't hear what you've said. Then you say, go slow—I fall behind. The second hand unwinds."_

He takes up my hands, and I grin up at him, "Thanks for this."

He smiles again.

_"If you're lost you can look and you will find me, Time after time. If you fall I will catch you, I will be waiting Time after Time."_

A while back I would've thought this song fits us perfectly, because I always said I'd be there for Cloud. We made a promise, or Cloud promised me he'd never leave me.

Now, I should be so happy right now that he cared enough to want to dance with me…but, I can't because I know I'm going to leave him.

_"After my picture fades and darkness has turned to gray…watching through windows – you're wondering if I'm ok. Secrets stolen from deep inside, the drum beats out of time—_

I'm going to Midgar, and Cloud isn't. I don't know when I'll see him again after this summer.

It hurts, but I think I'll be okay. I've been looking for a way to escape for a long time, and Cloud should be fine, he'll have Aerith.

_"If you're lost, you can look and you will find me, time after time."_

Cloud smiles down at me; I can't tell him now, though, I don't want to ruin this moment.

_"If you fall, I will catch you, I'll be waiting, time after time."_

We made a promise, and I can't keep it. I won't be here, I won't be with him.

_"If you fall, I will catch you, I will be waiting, time after time._

_Time After Time."_

**A/N: **TRAGIC Time after Time, Eva Cassidy. Most beautiful song evah...or at least one of them..


	15. Moonbucks

Moonbucks

Tuesday 5:12 PM

Cloud is always late, I swear. I don't even _like_ coffee, and he's got me sitting here at a damn Moonbucks waiting on him. At least they have good hot chocolate…still, that doesn't make up for his tardy butt.

He hasn't even called. He sent me a text message, saying he was sorry he was late and he'll be here in like twenty minutes.

That was just a minute ago, so I've got plenty of time to kill. I sigh, taking a sip of my coffee. Prom was a week ago, and it seems like since prom's come and gone Graduation is coming up on us so much faster. We've got our Graduation practice in three weeks, and then it'll be time to walk and get our diploma.

…And a month after that? I'll have practically started a new life.

I swallow, running my finger across the top of the cup…I'm not backing out of this. I've always wanted to travel, and biology is what I want to study. Nothing's going to hold me back this time, not even Cloud or Aerith or any drama or love. I don't care this time…I'm doing something for me, and I'm not going to look back.

…or at least that's how I hope it goes.

I glance up towards the line, blinking in surprise. There's only one person on this planet with hair like that.

I grin as he pays for his coffee, turning to walk out the door.

"Sephiroth!"

He freezes, clearly caught off guard at having his name shouted across a popular coffee shop. He glances over his shoulder, spotting me before making his way over.

I grin up at him, "Just thought I'd say hey…been a while since I saw you. The play is this Friday…are you coming?"

"I may," he replies, "Do you mind if I join you?" he gestures to the seat at my table.

"Oh! Oh no, go ahead. I'm waiting for someone anyways…he's late."

"Hmm," he sips his coffee, "Zack said you looked stunning at the prom. I saw a picture of you, he was correct."

I blush slightly, "Thanks Seph. So how've you been?"

"Alright…I've been meaning to get back into Midgar. I've been here for about three months now, and am hoping to find my way back again."

"You live in Midgar?"

"Hmm," he nods his head.

"What're you doing out here, if you don't mind me asking."

"Research. Zack mentioned you were going to attend Midgar University. I graduated from there two years ago. I'm working on my Masters now."

"Oh really," I say, surprised, "I had no idea. Zack said it's too far and too expensive."

"It _is_ too expensive…well…we afforded it, if you don't mind me asking—

"Scholarship; enough of one that I can work to pay the rest of my tuition off relatively easily."

"Congratulations."

"Thanks," I smile.

This was an unexpected turn; I didn't actually expect have a conversation with him. He seems so…secretive.

"So what do you do, exactly?"

"I'm an anthropologist. Midgar U. is a good school; it's the city you have to watch out for, though."

"What do you mean?"

He swallows, "You know the company ShinRa, right? Power Company…more powerful than it should be."

"I've read articles. I heard it practically has its own army."

Sephiroth grunts, "More than practically. It 'is'. The city is divided in half, with the people who mooch off of ShinRa and support them…the other being those who oppose them and their monopolistic ways."

"And you fall…"

"Against."

"Thought so. Is it that bad?"

He nods his head once, "They harm the planet…they have an army…how is it not bad?" he's getting rather heated over it, "The affects this company have driven on the planet are almost irreversible. If they aren't stopped now, then it'll be horrific for the future."

"That's terrible," I say, "I had no idea it was that bad."

"Yes, they keep it rather hushed. But, Midgar is full of college students, therefore full of liberal minds and thoughts. There's several protest and resistant groups against them, I being part of one."

"Oh really, which? I may join when I get there," I say, seriously contemplating the idea.

"AVALANCHE. Don't ask me to say what it stands for. Hell, I can't even remember."

I laugh; Sephiroth's got an interesting personality. I wouldn't have expected him to open up like this, but it seems to be his passion. That is one thing about him, he's keeping it interesting.

"And what of these liberal minds? Do they go well against the conservative backdrop?" I ask.

His eyebrows rise, "Quite. Keeps the city and ShinRa's army on its toes. They've had several acts of 'terrorism'. Vandalism is more like it; overzealous teens getting their kicks from graffiting trains and some power plants. If they can get into the plants to spray paint the walls, then they should do some good rather than art."

"Midgar full of artists?"

"In such an unneeded way, too."

I laugh, "Zack said something about you being interested in art though. He said you were quite the artist."

Sephiroth inhales sharply as he takes a sip of his coffee. He coughs a few times, putting the cup down on the table violently.

"Are you okay?"

"Yes…I singed my mouth—he said what?"

I give a small giggle, "That you were an artist…I didn't have the honor of seeing anything you painted, but he told me that."

"Damn him," he muttered off to the side.

"Excuse me?"

"Nothing…" he sighs deeply, staring at his cup, "It is true…I am guilty of painting from time to time."

"Well, don't make it out to be a sin, really, its fine."

He lifts a shoulder in a half-hearted shrug, "Maybe. Tell, me, Tifa, what are you going to Midgar for?"

"Biology."

He gives a sardonic grin, "You'll fit right in. Though, some of the professors in that major are…peculiar."

"Peculiar good or peculiar bad?"

"Depends. There is one who is extremely gifted and has a macabre fascination with gene-splicing. Some of his experiments and research are disturbing to say the least. He's not exactly a big hit with the animal activists at the college."

"I can imagine," I say, sipping my hot chocolate.

"His name is Hojo. You might want to transfer out of his class, if you get stuck with him."

"I'll keep it mind."

We sit in companionable silence for a moment more, sipping on our respective drinks. Hey, I might have found a new friend, and one that'll be located in Midgar. Plus.

"So, who're you waiting on?" he asks.

I blink, surprised, "A friend. We were planning to go shopping for some graduation gifts."

"Why is he late?"

I shrug, "Don't know."

"He didn't call?"

"He sent me a text message saying he'll be late," I glance at my watch, "In fact he should be here in a minute or two."

"Well, that's rude."

I blink, and give a laugh.

"It's true. I'm a stickler when it comes to being on time."

"Nothing irks you more?"

"Absolutely nothing."

The bell by the door dings, and Sephiroth glances up. I ignore it, though.

"So, what research purposes brought you here all the way from Midgar?" I ask, curious.

"Well, we're researching an ancient civilization known as the Cetra; quite interesting, really. We're searching for all the possible locations they may have inhabited."

"That does sound interesting—

"Tifa?"

I glance up, noticing Cloud standing there. I smile.

"Oh, hey Cloud," I say, then gesture to Seph, "This is Sephiroth, Zack's older brother."

"Hi," Cloud says holding out his hand.

Sephiroth looks at his hand, looks at me, and then stands quickly. Cloud stares in disbelief, and I'm fighting from laughing.

"It was good to see you again, Tifa. I hope I'll see you again, soon."

"You too, Sephiroth," I shake his outstretched hand, "Good luck with your research."

He nods his head in response before heading out.

Cloud sits down slowly, "Did I just get blown off?"

"Nah, he's just in a bad mood."

"_How can you tell? He was so…emotionless, other than bored and annoyed at you, which I could see why—_

"_Ouch."_

"—_how can you tell? I mean, he was polite and everything, but…he wasn't very friendly or warm."_

_Zack laughs, tipping his head back, "The people he doesn't like…"_

"_Yeah?"_

"…_He won't even look at them, let alone spare a few of his precious words to them."_

**A/N: **Well, that was fun. I loved everyone's reviews. You guys are so nice. and I'm glad everyone liked the song Now, to Moonbucks...snort XD


	16. Change is Good

Friday 8:58 PM

I stand slowly, my knees are shaking and my palms are sweaty. I'll tell you one thing, playing that much that long in public is a little straining on my poor and weary heart.

God, stage fright sucks! And I wasn't even on the stage! I just played accompaniment music; I couldn't even pay attention to the play. It was tragic…not the play, my performance. Or at least I think so…man I hope I covered those mistakes well. It was soft, so maybe no one noticed? And gawd I'm going to kill Biggs!

"Tifa!"

Someone hits my side and wraps their arms around me.

I wince, "Hey, Aerith." For a second there I thought a brick wall hit me…for such a slender girl she sure does pack a punch…or a hug.

"Hi...Aerith."

"You did so good! It was like professional," her eyes are large, and she's speaking dramatically.

Oh dear.

"I don't know…" I say, unsure. Damn Biggs!

"Don't be so humble, Teef…you did well," a voice says from behind me.

I turn, "Oh, hey Cloud…didn't see you standing there."

He shrugs, but Aerith grabs my attention again.

"It was stunning! Did you see Zack's death scene?! It was awesome. He died so well."

I give a nervous laugh, "Aerith…think about what you just said."

"It was just a play! I know it sounds bad, but he did such a good job! So valiant and brave!"

"He was acting, really he's a coward I think," I joke, and she laughs.

"Tifa," another voice.

People are all over the place; this auditorium is packed beyond capacity I believe.

I turn, smiling big at who it is, "Hey, Seph! I was hoping you'd make it."

"Just barely," he replies, his eyes flickering over Aerith and Cloud once before looking back down at me, "My flight leaves in the morning."

"Oh, that's a shame. I guess it'll be a while before I see you again, then?"

"Perhaps," he says, his voice guarded.

"Have you seen Zack?"

He sighs, obvious disdain, "I believe he's under a horde of teenage girls back that way," he gestures over his shoulder.

I give a small laugh, "Sounds like him."

Sephiroth shrugs and holds out a red rose, "Here…this is for you. I found your piano playing more enjoyable than Zack's death…more like someone slaughtered a cow if you ask me."

I dimly register Aerith's jaw dropping, but I'm too busy taking the flower.

"Gee, thank you, you didn't have to do that Seph."

He shrugs, ever the elusive, "I figure you would appreciate it more than if I gave one to Zack."

I laugh, "Probably…are you going to get him anything? He might get jealous of me."

Sephiroth snorts, "Highly doubtful. I may give him a dose of reality…that death scene, really…what was he thinking?"

"Oh come on Seph, you can't say that. You know he did good...You should be proud of him."

Sephiroth smirks, "You're right. I am. Well, it has been a pleasure, Tifa. I hope to see you again."

"You too, Seph. Have a safe trip."

Seph gives a wave over his shoulder as he moves away; he's such an enigma, really.

"Who was _that_?" Aerith squawks.

I forgot she hasn't met him…hell I forgot they were even standing there. I turn to face her and Cloud.

"That was Sephiroth—

"Did you see his hair?! Is it natural, Tifa is it natural?"

I give her a bewildered stare, "I don't know…shouldn't you ask Cloud that of all people—

"Hey—

"It was so _long_. As long as yours, Tifa…really…who is he again?"

I sigh, "Zack's older brother. He lives in Midgar…he was visiting and doing some research here."

"Huh," Aerith follows Sephiroth's back, "Interesting."

Cloud gives an unimpressed grunt, "Friendly, too," he says, eyeballing the rose.

"He's just polite, really polite. He called me Ms. Lockhart when he first met me," I say, blushing a bit.

Aerith brings her gaze down to mine, "Oh come on, Tifa, you actually don't believe that do you? The man barely even looked at me…I don't think he even wanted to _acknowledge_ Cloud's presence—

"Thanks, Aerith—

"Well it's true!" she says over her shoulder.

I give a little nod, "Yeah."

Cloud crosses his arms, "Bad mood, huh?"

"Hey," I snap, "I didn't know you'd actually see him again."

Cloud glowers at me, and I roll my eyes.

Aerith leans over, as if conspiring with me, "Well it looks to me that if he were staying here that'd _you'd_ see a lot more of him," she says lowly behind her hand.

"You're talking about me, aren't you?" another familiar voice.

"Zack!" I yell, hugging him, "You did so great! Really, what I could actually pay attention to was good. Apparently you die well too."

He chuckles, releasing me, "Hey, who gave you the rose?"

"Uh…"

Aerith snaps into action bless her, "So Zack, did the costume fit fine?"

Zack turns his attention to her, "Yeah, great!"

Both Cloud and I send her a puzzled look and she shrugs.

"At prom we got to talking about the play, and Zack said that the costumes still weren't finished or fitting right. I told him mom's got a dress shop, and we both could sew, so we'd be happy to help out."

"That was so nice of you," I say, overlooking Zack's costume again.

"I guess you got all the measurements right," Zack says, turning slightly, "Look, it shows off my cute tush," he wiggles his butt.

"Augh, Zack…please," Cloud whines, rolling his eyes away.

"What? It's true, isn't Teef? Pure blown beautiful buttocks."

I eye him skeptically, but he's talking again and doesn't even notice I didn't respond.

"So, Cloud, you've been rather silent this past week in class? What's up with that?"

"When have I ever been unsilent?"

"That isn't a word, but good point."

"Cloud's a brooder," Aerith says, leaning on his shoulder.

"That's easy," Zack says, "Even I can brood, and I'm a pretty fun loving guy."

"Oh yes, I can see you being serious Zack…as Tifa said, you die well."

"Why thank you! Much better than brooder Cloud I bet."

I give a small laugh as Zack and Aerith continue their talk of Cloud's broodiness. I catch Cloud's eye, and he gives me a pleading look. I try an encouraging smile, but it doesn't work out to well.

I guess I should change the subject, but Zack the ever active being changes the subject himself.

"Did you hear Tifa's major improv skills when Biggs forgot his line?" he smiles, "She was like, I saw your face too, she was like horror all over her face," he waves his hand around his head for affect.

"I know! I felt so bad, Tifa! How'd you do it?"

"Er...I played pretty much the same thing over and over again."

"Now that's working under pressure...I mean, really, the girl had to make sure the music lined up with the play, and since someone was stuttering, she saved it!" he puts a hand on my shoulder, "So we need to celebrate! It's our senior year, and this play was a _huge_ hit. I say we go out to eat," Zack says, smiling.

Aerith frowns, "I can't…mom's expecting me in soon."

"Cloud?" Zack asks.

Cloud shrugs, "I'm not hungry."

Zack narrows his eyes, "Fine…be that way, but Tifa and I are going out to eat to a really nice fancy dinner. If you don't come, you'll regret it!"

"We'll get together before the year's up, Zack," Aerith smiles, "But I have to go. Mom's a worry wart…I'll tell her about the costume's success."

Zack sighs heavily, "Alright, go, go! Leave me to this bland company!"

"Hey!"

He grins.

Friday 11:23 PM

"You know when you said it'd be a really nice fancy dinner?"

"Yeah?"

"I think you lied."

"Pssh, lie's such a strong word. I'd like to think, exaggerate…fluffed up…giving it that special umph."

"Zack?"

"Teef?"

"You're hopeless."

So currently I have just finished off a rather satisfying waffle but it's in the Waffle Hut, not exactly on the list of fancy or nice. More like cheep twenty four hour breakfast food. I'm not complaining, but I was misled.

Waffles are good, though.

Zack crams down the last of his eggs, and gives a toothy smile.

"Ready to roll, Teef?"

I nod my head, and he heads to the counter to pay the bill.

I wait outside; it's been getting warmer lately…two weeks till Graduation practice…two weeks and a day until Graduation. Six weeks until I move, and never come back…

That's something I've been thinking about, I don't think I will come back. I mean…Nibelheim is a nice place to grow up…it may even be a nice place to raise a family or be old in…but I'm not looking for either of those right now. I want to _live_, and Nibelheim isn't the place to live.

I've been thinking about switching my major to Marine Biology…I think I'd like it better…I could go to Costa del Sol for my masters. I think I might do that, though Midgar is still a top university, and I'm still going to go there for my bachelor degree. I mean, my dad's company will be down there in a year, and he'll be there…I have to get him settled in.

It'll be fun, I think…different? Yes. I've never really been in a big city. I should hire a bodyguard…bump that, I don't need a bodyguard. I can totally fend for myself, now. I ball my hand into a fist, flexing my arm.

Aerith told me she got a few other acceptance letters to a few other colleges…some closer, some farther than Corel…she's still undecided. She didn't even apply to Midgar…she doesn't even know I applied to Midgar. I've been kind of secretive about my college decisions.

She asked for my advice on where I would go if I had the acceptance to these schools far away. I told her she should do what's best for her, go where the best botany program is. I think she's narrowed it down to about three places, and I'm not so sure Corel's in the top pick anymore. I know she's wanted to go there for a long time. Aerith doesn't know much about her birth parents, but from what I understand they met there and went to college there. I think…I think she kind of wanted to go there to try and touch base with something her parents did. It's sweet, but it's very sad; I think Aerith is a lot sadder than she lets on or will ever let on. I know whatever she does Elmyra will be proud of her, though, and I think that's what makes Aerith work so hard. I think she wants Elmyra to be proud of her.

I think it's a good change for all of us, I can feel it…it's a good change to sort of go out on our own and find our own way, and not depend so much on each other. Don't get me wrong, I love Cloud and Aerith, and everyone, but…I'm ready to live my life, and do what I want to do.

I tip my eyes back to the dark sky. Though…Cloud…he still doesn't know what he's going to do, and I don't know if he'll ever know. I hope he can figure it out, I really do.

"Huh, no stars tonight," Zack says from behind me.

"Yeah," I say, rubbing my arms.

"I'll warn you now, Seph says there aren't stars in Midgar."

I give a small, sad smile, "That's okay…just cause I can't see them, doesn't mean they aren't there."

Zack gives me his goofy grin across the roof of his car, "That's the spirit, Teef."

We climb in and he starts it up, and rolls down the windows, and glances at me.

"You okay?"

I smile, "Yeah, I'm okay…I really am. I feel good…"

He gives me his wolfish grin, "Good."

He makes a move as if to put the car in gear, but hesitates, his mouth open. He tries to say something, but it doesn't come out, and he looks at me.

I tilt my head, meeting his eyes, "What?"

He inhales sharply, leaning forward and falling back up against the seat, "I…"

"Zack?"

And suddenly he's close, very close, and I feel his breath on my lips.

"Zack," I whisper against his lips.

It's not like I've never been kissed before, and it's not like Zack hasn't kissed me. We've shared little moments but nothing like how he's kissing me right now, soft but demanding, as if he's trying to figure something out. His fingers slide slowly down my arm sending shivers up my spine, and the kiss deepens.

But something doesn't feel right, and it's not because we're still in the Waffle Hut parking lot either. I guess that's what it is…kissing Zack…well, I'm not going to lie, it certainly is nice…but it doesn't feel right. It doesn't blow my mind like I think it should, cause even though he's kissing me like he's never kissed me before, my mind's roaming, and he's holding back and so am I. I think I know why I'm holding back…well…I'm a little startled really, so excuse me if I'm not giving it my all.

I have an inkling why Zack is doing this, and why he's holding back.

Suddenly he breaks the kiss, flushes, and faces the steering wheel, his face grim and serious. He flips the car into gear much too fast and we leave. The ride home is silent, but I'm okay with that, because I think we both need to gather our thoughts.

He pulls into my driveway, and parks, still clutching the steering wheel, his eyes hard and heavy.

"I think," he begins lowly after a minute, "I think…change…is good."

I don't reply, just stare at him as he tries to sort things out.

"I think that…what has happened…I don't regret it. I just, there's…I'm tired of living like I did. I think I realized something at prom…I think I realized that life isn't here for me. I'm not meant for here. Do you understand?"

"Yes," I say softly.

"I knew you would, why'd I even ask?" he smirks, but falls solemn again, "In a little over a month you'll be gone. You'll be gone before any of the rest of us is gone, and I think I won't like that. With you, it's light; it's not serious in a way that'll keep me thinking all night. Don't get me wrong, I think a lot about you…and about…well, I think a lot," he stutters, "I think that…I'm moving on. I think, I'm going good with change, and change means Gongaga, and surprisingly a place on their football team _and _a major in Theatre. I didn't think it'd be that big of a part of my life when I joined the Drama club freshmen year…but I've found something I want, and I'm not going to let go of that dream."

"Then go for it," I say.

He grins at me, "I haven't…known you for as long as I wish I could've, Teef. I wish I could've met you freshman year…hell I wish I could've met you when I was ten. You…I think you're inspiring me to go and not look back. I mean, you're going to Midgar. It's…for you, it's saying goodbye to this place, and this world. I think…I think I want to do that too. This past week I've been thinking, and I'm happy for her."

We both know who her is.

"I've been bitter for a long time, and I'm tired of that. At prom, and tonight, you just…you were light, you weren't held down, and I want to be like that. I know…I know it's a lot harder to do than say, but I think I'm on the right path to doing it, to letting go and let her live her life. I mean, she's happy, you're happy, I should be happy too…" he pauses, as if he's had an epiphany. I think he has.

"I am happy…I really am, actually," he grins, "So…but, there…there's something we have to decide on…"

"Tonight's it, right?" I say.

He looks up startled and shocked.

I smile, "Hey, Zack…I appreciate what you did for me. You keep saying I did all this great stuff, but you did too. You helped me out too. I'm glad that I met you, and I wish I could've met you sooner, but we didn't. So we can't dwell on that, just like we can't dwell on the other stuff. Change is good, Zack, and this is change."

"I…well, gee…so much for that speech I planned out," he says, a little bewildered, "You know…you could've said that about twenty minutes ago and saved me this agonizing ride home."

"Where's the fun in that?" I grin.

He smiles back, but it's still sad.

"I wish it _were_ different, though. I wish, I wish we could stick around together…see what happens. But, Midgar and Gongaga...I don't know, moving on means letting go. I want something new, I think. Though...maybe one day we could. Right now, I think, I want to live."

"Me too…but when you're a big famous actor, you have to remember me," I say, seriously.

He laughs, "I could never forget you, Teef," he leans over and kisses my cheek lightly.

I squeeze his arm, "I'll see you on Monday, Zack."

"Yeah, Teef…see you Monday."

**A/N: **This was bound to happen, he's the only one that knows about Midgar, and he's ready to move on. I've come to realize something over the last few chapters that this story has become more about Tifa finding herself, and becoming the woman we know in FFVII, you know, really getting into that personality. I hope I'm doing well on the character devlopment, which is something I've wanted to do from the begining. To tell the truth, my heart wasn't really in this story the first few chapters, but since I know where it's going (I just need to write it all out) and these last few chapters, I like this story a _lot_ more. I don't think it's so much about Tifa's relationships anymore...it's more about Tifa becoming Tifa...though, don't worry...where there is Horky, there is romance. I hope you enjoyed the chapter (Twas very long) and I hope you'll stick around till the end. It's a dosy, and it should be plenty more chapters. Thanks for the reviews!


	17. Lone Wolf

Wednesday 3:28 PM

Something's falling right now; it isn't an object, its feelings. Graduation is this weekend, and I know that when college roams around that I will try my best to keep in touch with my friends. I also know, however, that there will be falling outs, there will be arguments and tears.

We're sitting on Aerith's bed. I'm lying on my stomach flipping through old photo albums from when we were kids, and Aerith is playing with my hair.

"When was the last time you really got your hair cut? I mean, not a trim, an actual _cut_," she asks.

She knows the answer to this question, but I answer her anyways.

A picture of Aerith and me after a cake fight on her birthday; we're covered head to toe in strawberry cake. I think it was her tenth…

"Not since mom died," I say, flipping the page.

She sighs deeply, her hands falling on my back.

"Tifa…" she says softly, "I'm scared…"

I blink, turning to prop myself up on my elbow, "Of what?"

"A lot of things…" she pulls at a nail, "I…Cloud told me…about what happened with you and Zack…" she says slowly.

"What about it? I told you about it…"

"Not all the details…" she says, "I…Tifa, you told me that Zack and you are just friends…that that's where you stand, and you're okay with that."

I nod my head, "We are…I'll admit it was a bit awkward this past week, but we're fine now."

"Yeah, but," she tilts her head off to the side, "It's just…Zack told Cloud that it was cause of college."

"Well, it is that too. I mean, well, it is that too."

"So you aren't even going to try?" she asks earnestly.

I lick my lips, "Aerith…what is this about, really?"

"Well…I mean, you could both come back on weekends and visit and talk on the phone. Wouldn't that be enough?" she asks.

I turn my head away, and bite my lip.

"Aerith…"

She slaps her hand on the bed, "Cloud doesn't know what he wants to do, you know? He says he'll go to Corel, but I think it's because it's the closet four year around. He doesn't want to go to community college I think because we both know what we're going to do and he doesn't want to be left out…and I understand that, I do. But, I know what I want, and I can't sit around on CC's acceptance forever. I should've already made a decision—

"Wait," I turn my head quickly, "CC? You got accepted there?"

"Yeah," she says nervously, "It isn't _real _far, but it isn't close either…and…"

"Aerith," I smile, "That's amazing. CC is really known for its environmental studies, and with you and botany, you could really figure out what to do with your life. I mean, you'd be set."

"I know," she says eagerly, but her face falls, "I do…but something's bothering me, Tifa."

"What?" I ask, my brow furrowing, "Is it Cloud?"

"Well, I won't lie. I'm still not sure about what to tell him," she says, "But…that isn't what's bothering me…it's you, Tifa."

I blink big, "W-why? I mean—

"You haven't mention college since December," she says quickly, "The only thing I ever hear is about you majoring in biology but you never say where…you haven't told me where you've been accepted or where you're considering going, and I'd like to know…"

"I…"

"Tifa," she looks away, a rare look of hurt gracing her features, "Your dad was talking to my mom the other day…"

"And…?"

"And well, mom got to talking about how I had gotten accepted to CC. I mean, it's no surprise what I really would like to do with my life, and I _need _to go there. It'll be best for my education and my career."

I nod my head but she still isn't looking at me.

"But, well, when my mom said she was glad because I got to the best place possible for me…your dad told my mom, h-he let it slip a-and well, Tifa…" her eyes are watering up.

My face falls, and I can feel the color drain away, "What slipped," but I know what she's talking about.

"Midgar," she says hoarsely, "You're going to Midgar," she squeaks on Midgar.

I swallow, sitting up slowly.

"I mean, I'm happy for you, I am. It takes a lot to get in there, and even more to actually get there b-but I can't get it out of my head that you're leaving and you didn't even tell me—

She cuts off, tears on her cheeks, and I reach up quickly, hugging her and she hugs me back.

"I'm not leaving you," I say fiercely.

"You aren't coming back…I know you Tifa, and I can tell when you've got something set in your mind. I've known that you've been planning something for a long time now, but I can't believe…Midgar…"

"I was going to tell you, I was," I don't know if I'm saying that for myself or her, "I really was, it…I mean…its just hard. I know it hurt you for me not to say, but it hurt me to not to be able to tell you. I wish I could've said something, I wish I would've…"

Aerith swallows, and I slowly release her.

"I know," she says softly, "I can understand why you'd want to go, I do…but then C-Cloud said—

My heart stops, "Cloud?" I whisper, "You told Cloud?"

"No! No!" Aerith says quickly, shaking her head, "I mean…if I didn't know, I assumed…and that you were looking for the right time."

"I don't think there is a right time," I say, my heart starting back up.

"Who knows?" she asks.

I swallow, "Dad…you…Zack, and I guess Elmyra. Oh crap your mom knows—

Aerith gives a little laugh, "She won't tell anyone. I told her not to."

"Thanks," I breathe, and laugh softly too.

"Yeah…"

I swallow; I should just drop this…we could go back to photo albums, and talking about hair—

"Why did you ask me about my hair again?" I ask softly.

She pulls her knees up to her chest, "I think…if you were to cut your hair, it'd tell me you were really moving on from here. I think that's why I wanted to know if you'd ever even consider it…" she sniffs, the last of her tears gone, "I'd know you'd really let go of everything that happened here, and were really ready to start your life," she smiles, and rests her hand on the middle of my back, "I think it'd look good cut right there."

I glance down, "Yeah…maybe…" I smile, "I think you're right."

She laughs, and I laugh too.

The conversation is about to move on, still on college I'm sure, but of happier things about college. Decorating dorm rooms, new outfits, classes…but, something is still bothering me.

"Aerith…"

"Hmm?" she's flipping through the albums now.

"What'd…Cloud say? If he didn't know…what'd he say?" I ask, keeping my eyes low.

Aerith's voice is still light, as if it isn't a heavy subject, "He said that you seemed stronger lately…he said, he always wanted to look out for you, especially…well, especially after that…even after you learned how to take care of yourself. He said…he said that he still wanted to be there for you, but it was almost like you didn't need him to watch out for you or protect you. He said you grew a lot this past month, and that he's happy for you. I asked him if he was worried that you hadn't said anything about college, and he said that whatever you ended up doing would be right…because you were stronger, and smart, and that I should just trust you."

I try to form words, but I can't. I look up to meet Aerith's eyes.

"I do trust you, Tifa. I trust your decision, and I know everything will be okay. I know I'll see you again when it's all over. I'm happy for you," she smiles brightly, and I believe her.

Wednesday 7:25 PM

"Hello?"

"Cloud?" My voice sounds hoarse even to my own ears.

"Teef? Everything okay?"

"Uh…yeah…are you …doing anything?"

"Just working on my bike. Something up?"

"I just wanted to give you your graduation present…"

"Uh…Tifa I thought we were waiting till—

"Cloud," I say softly, "I just…"

"…okay…"

Wednesday 7:38 PM

"Hey," I say softly.

He's in the garage, his usual haunt. His bike is in the center, and there's some tools lying around it. It looks like he took the time to try and wash his hands, but there are still grease smudges everywhere, on his clothes, and even one across his cheek bone.

I giggle, and he glowers.

"So, what's with the sudden gift giving?"

I shrug, "I don't know…just felt like the right time," I say.

He nods his head slowly, "Teef, I haven't…I've been looking, but…I still…" he sighs, licking his lips.

I raise an eyebrow, "What?"

He sighs again, his hands falling dejectedly on his legs, "I h-haven't…well. It's hard to shop for a girl."

A sudden grin splits my face, "Oh?"

"Yeah, I mean you helped me with Aerith's, but you and Aerith are different and she just kept picking out stuff you'd like, but…I wanted something special."

I tilt my head to the side, "Thanks, Cloud."

He holds up his hands, "No, don't thank me. I can't shop. I just want it…to mean something."

"Well," I say, slowly moving towards him, "I can shop. And I did get you something, and _I _think it means something."

He grunts softly, wiping his hands on a grease stained cloth.

"Close your eyes," I say, and he rolls them in response.

"Cloud, you want your gift or not?"

He grudgingly does so, and I dig around in my bag, pulling out a small, black box.

I thrust my hand out holding it, "Here."

He cracks an eye, an amused expression crossing his features, "Tifa…are you proposing to me?"

I snort, "Yeah, right Romeo. Open the box."

"Hmm…" he lifts the box to his ear and shakes it.

"Don't shake it!"

"You can't damage a diamond Teef."

"Open…the damn box."

"Give me time…this is a special moment. I'm still deciding on whether saying yes or no."

"Wait…what? Are you still hung up on the proposing thing? Please, Cloud."

He shrugs, finally flipping the lid to the box. I study his face carefully, trying to figure out what he thinks of it, but as usual when anything serious happens his face is unreadable.

It took me a long time to figure out what to get him, too. I didn't even really figure it out; I saw it at the mall this past weekend. I've still been studying it ever since, trying to make sure it was the right gift, the right message.

I know what's staring back at him now is a silver, worn wolf earring. Its ears are curved upwards, and its eyes lowered in an almost determined fashion. Held in its mouth is a silver circle. It's rather detailed for such a small piece; there are lines that trace up its nose, and fur is even carved in.

He studies it for a moment, and I feel I owe an explanation.

Cloud wears a small stud in his left ear; it was his father's. His mother never really liked man jewelry, and wasn't exactly ecstatic when her son went out and punched a hole in his ear, but, she really wasn't too hard on him. It's a bit of his father in him, and she gave him the stud.

"I-I'm not trying to replace it, please understand that. But, it felt right for some reason…I guess…I mean, I'm going to get my hair cut."

His eyes finally dart up from the earring, meeting mine in open surprise.

"You are?" he asks softly.

"Yeah," I shake my head quickly, "Don't know when, but I want to do it…but I think, I don't want to cling to just that anymore. I loved my mother, and I still do, but I'm ready to live my life for me. But you don't even have to wear it…I just thought you'd like it."

"I do," he says softly, still holding it in the box.

"I've got to go, Cloud…dad's probably wondering why he has no supper, so, I have to go," I say, moving awkwardly towards the door.

I reach the door leading outside, feeling still awkward and a little stupid. I don't know, I just felt like that gift was right…I don't know so much anymore.

"Tifa…"

I hesitate at the door, my hand on the knob.

"Thank you…really…"

I nod my head shortly, and open the door quickly; I can still feel his eyes on me as the door shuts.

**A/N: **oh, fast update...you can probably expect these from now on. Thanks for reveiws loves!


	18. Walk to Remember

Friday 12:14 PM

"Die Steve!" Yuffie shouts, stabbing the pickle with her fork.

I snort along with Aerith, "Yuffie!"

Shera shakes her head weakly, "Yuffie…we're in a public place."

"This place is as dead as Steve," Yuffie replies, stabbing the pickle again.

"Poor Steve," Aerith says, "He needs a memorial service. Yuffie's ruthless."

Yuffie sticks her tongue out, and Shera laughs.

It is just after the Graduation practice. It was pretty uneventful; sat beside people I don't know…lots of talking...just boring, really. After was fun, though. We hung out in the parking lot, and the four of us finally left for lunch. Today we exchange graduation presents, but first Yuffie must finish massacring her pickle recently dubbed Steve. The child has too much energy I swear.

"So like everything's lined up for Wut-oo-too-tai," Yuffie says, ignoring Steve the pickle, "I have to leave at the beginning of August."

"So, you think those Ancient Wutain lessons your dad made you take will help?"

"I hope so, I mean…Pops always thinks I'm not interested in my culture, but I have been. He just makes it unfun, and I make it fun. He was _real_ surprised when I got the acceptance letter. I swear, he flipped out and did a handstand. It was great. I think he may have fractured his spine," she takes a massive bite of her burger.

Aerith laughs, "Is Ancient Wutai hard to speak?"

Yuffie rolls her eyes, swallowing, "It's hard to think. I'm excited though, I've already got a cross country Wutai trip to the most remote Wutai villages for next summer."

"Wow, go Yuffie," I say.

"What about you Shera, still off to Rocket Town?" Aerith asks.

Shera nods her head eagerly, "It's official. Cid hopes that he can get in shape by going into the military, that way he'll be good physically for the Astronaut program."

"Needs to stop smoking, then," Aerith says.

"I know."

"Ya know," Yuffie says, "It always surprised me how smart Cid was…like seriously, who would've thunk it?"

"Who would've thought _you_ knew Ancient Wutai?" Shera retorts.

"We can't all be rocket scientists…that's one comfort, that you're smarter than him."

"Yuffie, were you the one who wrote in Ancient Wutai all over the bathroom walls?" I ask.

"Of course…you should've seen their faces when they finally translated the third stall."

"How'd they do that? Isn't it Ancient Wutai like strictly kept within blood?" Aerith asks.

"Of course…had to call Pops in. That's how they translated it, course Pops did leave out this bit of info. Even he was smart enough not to tell the principle that his daughter had written the crudest of curse words in Ancient Wutai. I was trying to educate. You know, some guy in my English classroom got a tattoo of the Wutai phrase 'I f— monkeys in the a-hole.' Classic, I tell you."

"You're evil Yuffie."

"It's his fault…just cause it looks cool doesn't mean it is."

"Like you would've told him what it really meant if he approached you," I say.

She shrugs, "Who said he didn't? What about you, Aerith? Finally decided?"

"Yep…it's official. I'm going to Cosmo."

"Awesome," Yuffie says.

"Yeah, congratulations Aerith," Shera grins.

"What about you, Tifa?" Yuffie asks.

My eyes meet with Aerith's for a fraction of a second, and I let out a short breath, "Uh…I'm going to Midgar."

Yuffie drops her fork, and it's a moment of silence.

"Oh my _gawd_!" Yuffie squeals, "That's newspaper worthy!" she flings her arms around my neck.

"Ack!"

"Tifa!" Shera is beaming, "That is so great! I can't believe you hadn't told us!"

I shrug, smiling sheepishly. Well, that went better than planned.

"Seems like we're all going our separate ways," Aerith says.

"Where's the waitress! Hey! Clear our plates!" Yuffie yells.

"Yuffie!" Aerith hisses, and Yuffie shrugs.

The waitress takes the plates away, and Yuffie reaches under the table, pulling out a large bag.

"Sooo, it took oodles of convincing to my father, but I finally got it out of him. I told him it was important, and he finally complied. He understands that friends like you girls are one in five gabillion."

Aerith laughs, "Must be…you called him father."

Yuffie sticks her tongue out in retaliation, "Okay, here you go."

She lays out flat boxes before us, and we open them.

"They were my mom's. She had a lot of jewelry…and I know I can trust you guys with this stuff. Tifa, for you, I gave you a necklace…I know those are your mom's earrings, so…I figured you'd want it."

I stare down. It's a gold, Wutai styled necklace. It has a dragon hanging from a delicate chain, with green stones for eyes.

"Shera, I gave you earrings. That means you _have _to get your ears pierced. You needed some good dangly earrings."

Shera's still gaping like a fish.

"And you, Ms. Aerith, I gave you the bangles…they looked right for you."

Aerith has got two, gold bangles with intricate carvings of dragons and spirits.

"_Yuffie_…these are amazing," Aerith says, "And your mother's?"

Yuffie gives a small laugh, "Yeah…but seriously, if I sold my mom's jewelry my grandchildren would be set for life…that's how much she has, so…I knew you guys would take care of it. I'd rather see it put to good use than sitting in a box or sold to complete strangers."

"Thanks, Yuff," I hug her.

Shera grins, "Me next," she says, pulling out a folder.

She passes what looks like a certificate out to all of us.

"Okay, so…it isn't quite as special—

"Holy crap you bought a star?!" Yuffie gasps.

"Yeah…I mean, I just thought it'd be nice. Ya know, a little bit of me."

"Be nice?! You bought us an exterestrial piece of property. How many aliens did you put out of a good home?" Yuffie asks.

Shera laughs.

"Look…she named it AerithSheraTifaYuffie…all our names, thanks, Shera," Aerith smiles.

"It's a way we can stay connected…I mean, think about it…doesn't matter if we can't talk, we can look up and see all of us together."

"That was _deep_," Yuffie says.

"Okay, here's mine," Aerith slides thin boxes out across the table to each of us.

Inside is a silver pendant with four letters 'ASTY'.

"Asty...sounds dirty," Yuffie says.

"It's our initials, Yuffie," Shera says.

"OH! That is _sweet_."

"Yeah, thanks Aerith…" I grin, "You had to get these especially made just for us…that's really sweet."

"Yours Tifa! You next! Last! Whatever!"

"Alright," I reach under the table, pulling out three notebooks.

"It's a scrapbook…I didn't know what to get you, so I just made it."

"Holy…Tifa…_dude_ she made a collage of all of us."

"Oh look at page three! Look at it! It's when Yuffie got her head stuck in the railing of the fence at my house."

"Ehmahgawd how'd you get that picture?!"

"Dude! Dude look at Shera's face in this one."

"Ha! You look like a pig on drugs!"

"Hey!"

Yuffie hugs me, "This is really great."

"Yeah, Tifa."

I think we're all about to cry, but that's okay. We're girls, and this is almost it.

Saturday 12:54 PM

It's come, it's gone, and I'm officially graduated. Even the air is tingly, and everywhere I look there are people in black robes and hats, smiling and smiling, and smiling.

"Tifa! Tifa Tifa Tifa!"

I turn quickly, catching a quick hug from Reno and Rude, a wave from Elena and Tseng. There's Cid over there with Shera, a smile and a nod. I see Barret's bulk pass by, but no time to say anything or see him. Yuffie's bouncing around all over the place; I see her everywhere, there's people everywhere, but I can't find him.

"Ah! _Tifa_!" Aerith throws herself at me, and wraps her arms around my shoulders.

She's grinning larger than anyone else, "Tifa! Are you ready girl? We have graduated, officialy, finnaly thank goodness praise the Almighty," she laughs, "Are you ready for the Gold Saucer?"

"I'm so forcing you on every roller coaster."

"Tifa!" she whines, "Heights scare me!"

"I'll be much scarier if you don't get on it," I retort.

She laughs, "Have you see my mom?"

"Nope, can't find my dad, either."

"Hmm, oh look!" she gasps, "Cloud!" and she's bounding away.

Aerith reaches Cloud, and gives him a swift hug. I meet his eyes though, and he looks away. Something's wrong, I can tell.

Aerith mumbles something to him, and then shouts at someone else and disappears in a sea of robes.

I walk over slowly to Cloud.

"Hey," I say, smiling up at him.

He nods his head shortly, averting his eyes. I narrow mine; he isn't happy, and he should be happy...

"Cloud, what's wrong?"

He shakes his head, "I have to go...mom's looking for me."

"Hey," I smile, "At least give me a hug."

He nods his head, but looks reluctant to do so. I put my arms around his neck, and pull him close. He feels stiff, awkward and heavy, and I have no idea why. I know he doesn't know what he wants to do with his life, but he's got time. This isn't it, it isn't the end of the world.

"I'm sorry I haven't gotten your present yet," he says lowly into my ear.

I step back, releasing him, and smile, "Honestly, it isn't that big of deal Cloud. Don't beat yourself up over it."

He nods his head curtly, and I hear my dad call my name.

"I got to go," I say, resting a hand on his arm, "But I'll see you when we get back from Gold Saucer, 'kay? Have fun on your road trip with Zack."

He nods his head again, and I give his arm a squeeze before darting off to find my dad.

There's something wrong with him, and I can't figure out what...it bothers me, but maybe he'll have it sorted out by the time we get back.

**A/N: **This one was short, but the next one is longer, and the next one after that and...well, you get the idea. I've already got five other chapters uploaded on the doc manager...grr, I just want to post them all, but I won't. I had a mad rush of inspiration for this story...ah well, anyways. When I graduated my friend gave me a pendant with all our initials on it. I did a Yuffie...I sat there for a minute, like ABEH what the hell does that mean? And everyone else was about in tears. And then someone said it and I was like der. Hey back off, everyone is allowed their moments. XD Thanks for reviews, loves! I really appreciate them.


	19. Come Clean

Thursday 2:43 AM

I'd like to say that a lot of interesting things have happened lately. I graduated, and the girls and I took a trip to the Gold Saucer the next day.

And then there's been nothing.

Things have been wrong lately…with Cloud. Something is so wrong, I can feel it. It started when I gave him that earring, but it was amplified at Graduation. There's so much tension, and I know he doesn't know where I'm going, so I can't figure out what it is. He isn't talking to me…he won't see me, he's hiding. I have two weeks to figure this out.

I have two weeks to tell Cloud I'm gone. I have two weeks to tell him goodbye and I have no idea how I'm going to do it.

Friday 10:33 AM

"So, you'll take the train to Corel, and from there you'll get on your flight and you'll be going to Midgar."

I nod my head slowly, my dad sitting across from me at the table.

"Tifa…there's still time for me to get a ticket, I mean, if you want me to ride the train—

"No, dad," I smile sadly, "It'll be hard enough, you know? I think I have to do this on my own."

He nods his head once, "Alright…I can respect that. Now, your apartment is above the restuarant, okay? You'll be there with the owner's daughter...it'll be good, because this way you'll get paid for working the restuarant, but the only rent you have to pay is the utilities costs...I think you can handle that."

I reach across, grabbing his hand, "I'm going to miss you, dad."

He squeezes my hand, "I'm going to miss you too, pumpkin…but, it'll be good for you. I just don't know how I'm going to survive without your cooking."

"You can always head over to Elmyra's…she'll be looking for company, too. Her cooking's better than mine, anyways."

He swallows, "It just won't be the same."

"Hey, if you had it your way I'd still be six and wearing dresses everyday."

"If I had it my way I'd send you to a Convent for the rest of your life."

"Dad!"

He gives a gruff laugh, "Anyways…Tifa…you slept in pretty late this morning, but your bud called. He was wanting to see you. He said to tell you to head over when you could."

I nod my head slowly, "Alright."

I don't know what to say about mine and Cloud's relationship these past few weeks. It's been kind of distant, but I don't think it was because of the gift, actually. It's something else, something underlying, and I can feel it.

It doesn't take me long to get ready and get to Cloud's house. He's in the garage again, and I can tell that last time he definitely did clean up a bit. He's covered in grease and beneath his car this time. I step over softly, loud rock blasting from a radio on the counter. His foot is tapping in time with the beat, and every now and then I hear a muffled word. He seems at ease here, pretty relaxed; I'm kind of reluctant to break that mood.

I reach his feet, and squat down beside of him. I watch as he reaches for the tools laid out beside of the car, his fingers fumbling. I push one towards his fingers, and he grabs it, his hand disappearing back under the car.

I would say something, but I know from experience that he'll sit up and bang his head on the underside of the car.

So I tug on the cuff of his pants.

He shifts a bit, as if perturbed, and I pull on it again. He slides out slowly from beneath the car, and meets my eyes for barely a second.

"Hey," I say softly, "Dad said you called."

"Er…yeah," he stands quickly, agitated, and moves to cut off the radio.

"Cloud?"

He doesn't respond, but moves to wash his hands at the sink. I'm suddenly afraid he knows, and I'm facing a situation like I did with Aerith. Something tells me this won't go over as smoothly as it did with Aerith; Cloud isn't exactly the easiest person to understand things, or accept some things.

Something catches my eye, though. He isn't wearing any earring...not mine or his father's.

"Cloud—

"I don't know what I'm doing," he says it quickly, flipping the faucet off.

"What do you mean?"

He sighs deeply, his hands resting on the basin of the sink, "I don't know," he says lowly.

"Cloud," I say softly, "Talk to me."

"I made you wait…I tried, but I couldn't. I told Aerith not to tell you."

I narrow my eyes, "What Cloud?"

"Aerith and I aren't together anymore," he says even more quickly.

He keeps jerking around the garage in quick, distressed movements. However, I'm shocked, really, I am. That was one thing Aerith talked about a few weeks ago, about keeping a long distance relationship going.

"I…did she do it because she's going to CC?" I ask.

"No," he says lowly, "She didn't do it."

"Well, then why? You two were fine—

I cut off, suddenly realizing what he's saying. He turns swiftly, his eyes meeting mine for the first time, hard and unreadable. His face is grim, and he turns his eyes away again swiftly.

"This doesn't make any sense, Cloud…I thought…when…?" it's hard for me to form a sentence.

"Before you went to the Gold Saucer…" he mumbles, fiddling with a tool box.

"Is it because we were gone? I mean, we were gone for only a few days and—

"It wasn't that."

"Then what?" I sputter, "Did you tell her why? Do you have a reason why? I thought things were going really good! You can't just do that to her, that wasn't fair. Why would you just…" I lose my voice, "How could you do that to her?"

He sighs heavily, his hands trying to find something to do, "It was…sort of mutual…I think."

"You think? CC isn't that far, Cloud…you know she'll come home a lot, too, for Elmyra's sake. I can't…I just, I thought you'd at least try—

"You didn't try with Zack."

"That was different," I say hotly.

"How?"

"Because it _was_ mutual…we don't belong together, and he's going to Gongaga, a-and you still haven't told me why!"

"Because I don't want to hold her back; I don't want to hold anyone back...and neither do we," his voice is low controlled, but he spins on me and there's anger in his eyes.

"What are you talking about, Cloud?"

"I don't know what to do with my life! I don't know what I want, or-or what's waiting for me. I don't have a life before me. I haven't figured _anything_ out this year like I promised myself I would."

"Cloud—

"You both know where you're going. Everyone does. They know what they want from life; they know what they can do. I don't have those options. I don't have the grades to get scholarships to get me a real job. I can't do anything but be a sad mechanic like my dad—

"Cloud!"

"It's true. I don't have anything to look forward to. I'm going to be stuck here while everyone else I've ever known goes out and does something great. Aerith is already great at what she does. She knows more about botany and that stuff than people who've been at that college for years. Zack? Zack's going to be famous, there's no denying that, whether it be football or acting. You? It doesn't matter what you do. You'll be fine, but I don't have anything. I'm going to be stuck here at a community college because we can't afford anything and I'm not smart enough to earn anything."

"Cloud," I say, trying to keep my temper down, "Your father was more than that…you _know _that. Life is more than just an unusual job. Don't you _dare_ look at me like that. Not everyone knows what they want by eighteen…some people won't know for a long time but that's no reason for you to just give up!"

"You don't know—

"No, Cloud. No you listen to _me_, this time," I point at my chest, moving slowly towards him, anger in every step, "You listen to me. I know what it is like to be lost. And if anyone has the right to be angry here, it's me. You haven't talked to me since I gave you your present. You haven't even _looked _at me right. What is wrong with you? I know it was—

"It's not about the gift," he shoots in lowly as I come to stand before him.

"Then what is it? You tell Aerith not to tell me about you two splitting. You broke up with her because you don't want to hold her back…because you think you aren't good enough. That's a sad excuse, Cloud Strife…it really is, because you have no ground to stand on. You are perfectly fine the way you are. You'll make it, I know you will, but please, tell me what else is wrong. You aren't talking to me, you're silent and not in the usual way. You're brooding more than ever, and y-you just call me up to yell at me about how you're lost. I'll help you Cloud, but you can't expect me to just walk in here and be okay with everything you're telling me. You're too hard on yourself, Cloud, and if you want me to help, you have to tell me things so I can help…so I can know what to do, and what's wrong. There's so much bothering you right now…and it isn't Aerith, or college or your job, is it? What is it? Why are you acting this way? Why are you acting like I did—

I cut off suddenly, my tongue twisted on my own words. He isn't looking at me, he can't look at me, and I can't look at him.

"Acting like what?" he asks coolly, but I'm too busy staring at the ground in horror.

The world spins a bit, and I stumble. He catches my elbow, anger forgotten for a moment, and I look into his eyes, everything that I had grown away from in this past month slamming into me again.

He opens his mouth as if to say something, but I cut him off.

"I can't wait for you."

He can't hold me back, because I let him go.

Oh God.

I start again, his hand still gently on my elbow; his touch is burning me, "I can't wait for you to figure this out."

His eyes widen slightly, and he lets me go quickly. I reach out, touching his arm, and he flinches.

I swallow roughly, "I want to, Cloud…I do, but I can't—

He doesn't say anything, but he meets my eyes again.

"I…" my throat freezes for a moment, "I'm going to Midgar."

His eyes narrow at the sudden change in topic, "What for?"

I give a bitter laugh, "For school…for college. I'm not coming back, Cloud, I'm not…not for a very, very long time."

He's lost now, even more lost than before and it's my fault. This will be what breaks him, being truly left behind by everyone.

He takes a deep breath, his eyes smoldering, "Why didn't you tell me sooner?"

I scoff, "You think it's easy for me to say that? You think anything this year has been easy for me? I've been through enough already, and I want this—

"You've been through enough? Is that it, you? Is that all it is ever about?"

"Cloud—

His face is tight with anger, words so carefully calm that it hurts, "You're leaving…and you aren't coming back. You expect me to be happy about this? I…this is what I meant. You're right," he says softly, "You can't wait for me…cause I'm not holding you back anymore."

"You never held me back, Cloud! I was there for you, and I thought you were there for me because we were friends and we needed each other! I still need you, Cloud! Just cause I'm leaving doesn't mean—

"It means a lot more than you're willing to make out, Tifa. It does. Everyone realizes it but you."

"What do you mean everyone, you just found out! You told _Aerith_ that anything I did would be right because I was stronger!"

He flushes at this, but pushes on, "Everyone makes mistakes."

My jaw drops, and I feel something wet come down my cheek. His eyes soften slightly, but I tighten my jaw, and I glare at him.

"I don't need your pity," I spit, and turn quickly to walk away.

The door is close, and he isn't moving, but I don't care; I'm too angry to care.

His hand suddenly closes over my wrist, his quick steps halting me at the door.

His hold stops me, but it's soft, and he twists me quickly. Time stops.

It's different than with Zack as he looms over me, because I have time to meet his eyes, have time to feel his heavy breath against mine, time to stop it before it happens...before he kisses me. It is different this way, too, that the kiss is so soft that my heart is on fire, that my mind doesn't have the mental capacity to roam in this moment. The only thing that is, is myself and him...

My back hits the door, and the spell breaks.

There is a sharp crack, and my hand stings, and I'm sure his face does too. My body is shaking, in shock that I actually did that, that _he_ actually did that, and his face stays turned away, his eyes half lidded and hard.

I swallow, red staining my cheeks, "Y-you're right…you don't know what you want. You'll be hung up on her for a long time, even if you did break up with her. You don't know what you want, Cloud, but I do…so stop playing."

My hand finds the door knob behind me, and I twist it, pouring outside onto the driveway, and I make a mad dash towards my car. I struggle with the handle, before finally getting in, and sit staring at the steering wheel.

I cannot look at the garage door to see if he is watching me. I do not care, because I am so confused right now, and I hurt because this wasn't what I was supposed to be leaving. I was supposed to be leaving Cloud happy, and ready for life, not him so confused and kissing me.

God the last thing I'll ever have of him is kissing him and slapping him.

It can't end like this, but I know it very well can.

I look down at my hands. They're covered in grease; I glance up in the rearview mirror. There's a smudge of grease across my cheek, and my neck. He must've touched me when he kissed me.

At seeing this, I think I might cry, but I don't.

I start my car, and back down his driveway calmly.

_"...you have to promise me you'll never leave me, Cloud..."_

_"..I promise, Teef...I'm always going to be with you..."_

I never promised you back.

**A/N: **Feel free to bawl. Told ya that'd come back to bite 'em in the ass...thanks for reviews!


	20. Always There

Friday 10:22 AM

"So, this is it…" Aerith says lowly.

"Yeah," I nod my head sloppily, my hair tickling the middle of my back.

I have to brush my bangs away.

Dad is throwing my last suitcase into the back of the pickup, where it thumps loudly. I flinch, and Aerith puts a hand on my shoulder.

"Tifa…we need to leave soon," he says.

"Alright…just…" I gesture to Aerith, and he nods, going back inside the house.

Aerith meets my eyes before pulling me into another hug, I hold her tightly.

"Man this is harder than I thought," she gives a short, breathy laugh, "Here it is, already the beginning of July and you're leaving us."

"Just moving, not leaving you," I say, releasing her.

She laughs again, looking away, "Yeah…Asty?" she giggles, holding the pendant up from her neck, her gold bangles reflecting in the sunlight.

I hold my own up, "Always."

She laughs again, putting up a strong face, but her smile doesn't- can't touch her eyes, and I know mine isn't either.

"What's it been," she asks, staring at my house, "Ten years?"

"Give or take a few months," I reply.

"Yeah," she breathes, "You know we never did stay true to that deal we made in eighth grade."

"Which one?"

"Oh you know, the rooming together, the apartment…denying marriage, that sort of thing. Childbirth was scary after sex ed."

I laugh, "Oh, yeah…well, you can still come to Midgar with me."

She laughs, "Nah, but I can still deny marriage."

"I don't think it's such a bad thing, marriage."

"I think the thing that scared us was the 'obey' part in the vows or whatever. Remember when we watched that romance movie, and she said obey and we both freaked out like we have to _obey _our husbands? Good times."

"Yeah," I say, smiling easier now.

"Here," she says, digging around in her purse, "We got you a card…"

I take the envelope, opening it to a home-made construction paper card. There's hearts all over it, and a crude stick figure version of me saying 'Midgar or bust'.

"Original," I laugh, flipping it open.

There's all their signatures, Yuffie with her big circles for her 'i' dots, and Shera with the curvy lines flowing underneath it. Cid's scrawled his name down, along with Barret, Reno, Rude…Aerith's is there in her neat, cursive, and beneath that, Zack's bold all-capital signature along with a few others.

There's one missing, but I don't say anything.

"Thanks, this means a lot," I say, closing the card.

"Do you have a jacket—

"What? No, it's summer."

"Obviously you've never ridden a train to Corel before. They freeze you to death," she says, digging in her purse again.

She pulls out a bright red zip up hoodie, and hands it to me.

I tilt my head, "You really do think of everything, don't you?"

She shrugs, "Maybe…just wear it, okay?"

"Alright, I will," I smile, a bit perplexed.

There's a moment of silence, Aerith's fists stuffed beneath her elbows, and she swallows.

"Tifa…" she says softly, "What happened…?"

I blink, looking away quickly at the ground, holding the jacket in my hand.

I open my mouth, but words won't come, and I shake my head no quickly.

She frowns, "Tifa, please…you can tell me anything…you know that."

"I can't, I really can't…it's over now—

"He's your best friend, Tifa, it'll never be over. You can't just leave him on these terms."

I sigh, my hands falling, "I don't want to leave like this, but…he won't answer my calls, and I can't just…I can't go over there, Aerith."

"Tifa…"

"He is my best friend, and that'll never change but he's got to want to talk to me too…okay? A-and it's not like I planned things to be like this."

"What happened? What'd you two fight about that could possibly do this to you?"

I don't know if it was just fighting that did this, "He told me…Aerith, why didn't you tell me?"

She blinks, "I didn't think it was that big of a deal," I scoff, "He wanted to tell you, and it was mutual, despite what you may think. I think with all your talk of moving on, I was okay with it."

My mouth sort of falls open, and she quickly shakes her head.

"No, Tifa…it wasn't you that did that. It was before you told me you were going to Midgar…I think, I think it started some time after prom."

—_Time after time_—

I look down at the ground.

"Uh," I shuffle my feet, swallowing.

The door slams, and I know my father's coming because we have to leave, but I'm not ready yet, never ready.

I reach up quickly, pulling at my right earring, at my mother's earring, and unclip it.

"Can you…can you give this to him?"

Aerith takes the earring without question, "Of course."

"A-and…"

"Tifa, we need to leave," Dad's climbing in the truck.

"A-and tell him…tell him I'm sorry that I broke his promise…"

"Tifa—

"Tell him…tell him…I tried to tell him-" I lick my lips, "Tell him he can tell you what happened, if he wants to, but I have to go, Aerith."

"Okay," she breathes, and pulls me into another hug, tighter than the last if it was even possible.

"Okay," I squeak, on the verge of tears.

I take a deep breath before I step back, no tears will fall today. I smile big at her, and she smiles back. There is an unreal moment when I climb into the cab of the truck, an unreal moment when I feel like part of me is missing, and I instinctively touch my right ear.

I glance up in the mirror, my other hand falling to the pendant resting below the hollow of my throat.

I catch Aerith's gaze in the mirror, sad and alone standing there as we drive away.

I swallow, running my thumb around the rim of the pendant, and clutch her jacket tighter to my chest.

Friday 11:00 AM

"Are you sure—

"Dad, I just…I'll be okay. I need to do this alone. I won't be able to get on that train if you're watching me," I say, my luggage finally in the right place.

He sort of smirks, "I'd be alright with that."

"Dad," I whine, but hug him tight, smiling.

"Don't leave me, baby girl."

"I'm not leaving you," I say into his shoulder, and he squeezes me tighter.

He swallows, letting me go, "Why are you wearing a jacket?"

"Aerith gave it to me," I say, and he nods his head as if that's all the explanation he needs, "She said it was cold on the trains."

He nods his head again.

"Dad?"

"Hmm?"

"I love you, okay? It'll be no time and you'll be in Midgar with me, okay? We'll be alright. Promise me you'll take care of yourself."

He nods his head again, "I will. I love you too…I'm surprised you didn't have a bigger crowd carting you off."

I grin, "I told them it'd be easier if they didn't all show up."

"Aerith did."

"Well, I knew _she_ would."

He laughs, "What…what about your bud? I haven't heard from him in about…two weeks…everything okay?"

"Yeah," I breathe, "Everything's okay…"

"Good, I need to get that truck checked up. Been running funny lately. Smart kid, your bud."

"Yeah, I know," I say, "I gotta go, Dad. I want to make sure everything is in order. I guess I gotta go grow up," I grin.

His eyes soften, "Alright…but you already have," and he hugs me one last time.

Letting him go is hard.

Friday 11:09 AM

It's a bustle inside, the trains are loud chugging into the platform. I check my watch; mine doesn't leave for another ten minutes. I glance around, spotting a few phone booths lined up against the back wall. It takes three strides to get there, and inside the noise is muffled.

I swallow, as I dial his number one last time.

The phone rings, and I'm greeted by silence when the phone clicks on.

"Cloud…?" I ask softly, "Are you there? Please, don't hang up…I'm leaving and I don't know what to do…"

I think I'm trying to trick myself into believing this is the answering machine, and he isn't just silently holding his phone to his ear.

"I…I keep…I keep wishing for a lot of things…I keep wishing that-that maybe I could've found my voice sooner, or that things wouldn't have gone so _wrong_. I keep wishing that you would talk to me or return my calls, because it can't end like this Cloud, it can't. I'm sorry, I really am…I keep wishing that maybe I wasn't going to Midgar, but I don't think anything could change that, and I keep wishing I didn't wish these things. I keep wishing that I didn't have to, that I was okay leaving you here like this, but I'm _not_. I never wanted to leave you Cloud…but I thought you didn't need me anymore…"

I pause swallowing, "Please…say—

I cut off, "No, don't say anything…I can't dwell on what I'm wishing for Cloud, because that'll hold me back. If anyone ever held me back it was myself, Cloud…it was never you so please don't be so hard on yourself. I wouldn't leave, but I think I need to. I think I'm not the only one who needs to find myself, but Cloud…that isn't a bad thing, finding yourself. I hope you do, and when you do, call me or come visit me or something. I don't want you to keep this silence…

"I know I already said I wished for a lot of things, but there's one thing I will dwell on…Cloud…I wish…I wish you were here. I wish I could see you right now even if just for a second, I do…but...I can't," No crying, not today, "I-I have to go. My train is leaving soon, but…I hope you heard me…"

I can't say goodbye, so I slowly hang up the phone, and exit the phone booth slowly. There is a bigger crowd as the passengers for Corel push against each other in prepartion of the train leaving. They're wearing bleak colors it seems, all black and gray. I seem to stand out in Aerith's red jacket, lost and alone in this large crowd of adults with jobs and lives.

Someone bumps my left shoulder, and I stumble and twist towards them.

My eyes go up, catching sight of a familiar profile, a familiar shock of yellow hair moving away from me. A glint of silver in their left ear, vaguely resembling a wolf or maybe it's just a stud and—

"_Cloud!_ Cloud!" I yell, but the train whistles, and suddenly the crowd is against me. I shove between shoulders, pushing violently against them, screaming his name. They push against me, and I try to part through their bodies but they're all too big, and he's disappearing, his back— he won't even look at me.

"Cloud!"

It's useless, there is no more blonde amongst the crowd, just the bleak gray and black…just a world I don't want to be in, and suddenly alone again.

I fall against them, slowly being forced towards the train, no longer resisting, believing that it was just a phantom of my mind, something to taunt me.

Somehow I'm led to my seat in a compartment. I stare at the empty seat across from me, falling down into my own numbly. I cross my arms across my stomach, feeling small in the train, trying to feel some comfort in Aerith's jacket; something familiar in a place so unfamiliar.

My hand brushes against something solid in my jacket's pocket, and I reach down slowly.

I swallow, pulling out a familiar black box, and my heart freezes over.

It's the box I gave his present to him in, and I fear opening it, but I have to; this is the last thing he'll give me…

I flip the lid slowly, staring down at the familiar wolf features, no longer determined but angry and harsh. I stare down in horror at the earring, understanding the implications behind returning his gift.

The train whistles loudly, and I flinch, the box falling from my hand. The earring falls out, rolling across the floor. I scramble quickly, grabbing at the box and the earring—

I lift it up slowly, a strange feeling slowly dawning on me; it isn't the earring…it's a ring, a ring with the same features and the same wolf on it. I swallow thickly, trying to figure out where he got this…the jeweler said it was just an earring and…

I lift the box up slowly for closer inspection, popping the bottom out where the ring, and the earring had rested. There is a small, folded up piece of paper in the bottom. I pick it up delicately, reading the simple words before me in his neat handwriting, things falling together since isn't cold at all on this train. Aerith already knew what happened, and I sit there, clinging to a small hope that maybe something will turn out okay…or maybe, I can leave and be at peace, even if I never see him again.

_I promised you I'd never leave you, Teef. Don't let anything ever hold you back, don't wait for anybody, just keep going forward..._

_I'm sorry._

_-- Cloud_

I break my promise to myself as the train whistles again and lurches forward; my tears fall silently and I catch the last glimpse I believe I'll ever have of Cloud Strife.


	21. Life or Existence

One Year Later

Monday 8:27 AM

There is a bit of a rush to my step as I elbow my way down the packed streets of Midgar. Sometimes I try to figure out if it would just be faster to get to the damn coffee shop by walking or battling the insane traffic. My car's too pretty to be put in this type of danger, though…

Hi…my name is Tifa Lockhart in case you've forgotten…I know it's been a while since I've actually sat down and thought about things and wrote them out, but it's been a good year. After a rocky start, I'm quickly coming up on my one year anniversary of being in Midgar.

Currently, though, I'm trying to keep up a weekly anniversary that was established rather early in my life here in Midgar.

And if I'm late, he'll slaughter me with his glare.

Midgar is on a whole different level than Nibelhiem. There are tall skyscrapers everywhere, and trees, God I miss trees. I have to go visit Aerith within the next three years or else I will be killed by all the smog and nastiness. However, I must admit that the university here is one of the most competitive, and enthralling places I could be at. Marine Biology seems to be the place for me, though I really haven't gotten into the more specified classes for my major. So far I've managed to avoid the head of the Biology department, Prof. Hojo, and I'm hoping to keep it that way. After three semesters (summer classes) at this school, I've already heard plenty of horror stories about him.

Honk! Screech!

"Hey! You crazy bitch, watch where you're walking!"

"Watch where my fist is about to be, bastard! Pedestrians have the right away, especially at a cross walk!" It didn't take me long to find my voice in this city; you can't afford to be quiet here.

I flip the offender off, before making it safely back onto the opposite sidewalk. I elbow my way through the morning rush of coffee beggars as I enter Moonbucks. I pass by the counter without a glance, though I hear a couple rushed hellos. I throw my hand up at the familiar workers, before slinging myself down at the tiny table, dropping my bag down beside my chair, and pull off my red hoodie; it's cooler here in the city than Nibelhiem, surprisingly.

Sephiroth doesn't even look up from his newspaper, "Rough morning?"

I glance at my watch, "Heck yes! With a minute and twenty seconds to spare, I swear I get better everyday at not being late."

He spares a glance at me, my hair is frazzled, and my forehead is sweaty.

He sips his coffee, sliding a cup of hot chocolate towards me, "You know, I won't kill you if you're late."

"That's what you say when I'm on time, but when I'm late, your eyes tell a different story, Seph," I grin, taking a sip of my drink, "Oh, it's hot…thanks."

He grunts, flipping the newspaper closed.

"Anything interesting to report on this week?" I ask.

His gaze flickers towards me, and then around the bustling coffee shop, "Not really…there's a meeting Wednesday at six…do you think you'll be able to attend?"

I shrug, "I can see if I can get someone to cover for me at the bar."

He shrugs, his gaze roaming as it usually is, "It probably isn't too important. I feel as though the AVALANCHE meetings are more lectures than anything. There's been no protests in a good few months. Sad, really."

I look up at him from my drink, "You just get sad too easily, Seph."

He grunts, "I do not believe they are doing anything, really. Midgar is the same as it has always been, just with more liberal minds. Still doesn't mean anything has changed."

"Change takes time."

"I do not believe those people know how to live."

I quirk an eyebrow, "Oh? What do you mean by that?"

He meets my eyes for the first time this morning in his unnerving full on gaze, "I mean that there are two types of people in this world. Those that live and those that exist. AVALANCHE exists, it doesn't live," he sips his coffee slowly.

"What about me, Seph, do I live?"

He meets me in that not-quite-believing-what-you-just-said-but-I'm-not-taking-you-too-seriously-right-now look, "I believe you sit somewhere in the middle."

"Is that good or bad?"

He shrugs, "Figure it out yourself."

"You're no fun."

"I'm an anthropologist…fun includes dead people. Are you dead?"

I hold out my arm, "Pinch me; I'm not one hundred percent sure…you could be talking me to death, I'm surprised you haven't already."

He glowers at me, before calmly sipping his coffee. It's fun to mess with Sephiroth's head since he's such a serious guy. It's easy to get him annoyed, but I know not to push it.

"What of your paper? Have you finished it yet?"

"Argh, no. I have to do that tonight, thanks for reminding me Seph. Only a page left, and it'll be done."

"How many pages was it, again?"

"Eight. I swear my summer classes are harder than the regular ones," I shake my head, "And I've got that lab tomorrow."

"Tragic."

"So, any new discoveries on the Cetra?"

"Other than the predicted doomsday?"

My ears perk up, "Oh? When exactly is the world to end?"

"On your anniversary."

"Are you freaking kidding?" I ask.

He shakes his head no, "No…well, we maybe off a few years in the translation; the hieroglyphics were a bit distorted. Tell me Tifa, what for you would bring about doomsday this Friday…anything in particular?"

"I don't know…flunking out of college…getting kicked out of my apartment. I think it'd have to be a group of things to really end my world."

He grunts, "I heard the news today. Your father is staying in Nibelhiem another year?"

"Yep," I say, "It was unexpected, but they keep delaying the move. I told him to stay there…I miss him, and I know he misses me, but from what I hear, he's doing pretty well."

"And your sources would be?"

"Elmyra."

"Hmm," he says; he by now knows the mouth of Nibelhiem's name…AKA Aerith's mom.

"Have you talked to the flower girl lately?"

"She does more than flowers, Seph…really, for someone who looks at skulls all day long you sure are close-minded."

"I do more than look at skulls—

"I've seen your collection of them at your apartment…that isn't exactly a fashion forward way to decorate the living room."

"Tifa," he intones.

"Fine, fine," I say, "Anyways, as I was saying, she could save your life with plants…keep you from becoming a skull sooner than you'd have to."

"Right."

"Tis true. Anyways, no…I haven't had time to call her, what with Marlene acting crazy lately."

"What do you mean by lately?"

I glare at him, "You don't live with the girl. You think the few times you've seen her is crazy? Please, Seph, she's much crazier than that."

"More crazy than throwing a dart at my face?"

"She didn't throw the dart at your face, she just really sucks at throwing darts."

"Then why did you let her?"

"Because I was drunk."

"Is that why she is so horrible?"

"No, she was sober. The sad thing really is that she can kick my butt when she's drunk, and I'm sober."

He grunts, falling back into his silence.

I tilt my head to the side, "Well, what's bothering you today?"

He turns his gaze on me evenly, "I spoke with Zack yesterday."

"Oh really?" I chirp, "That's great. How is he? I haven't heard from the devil lately."

He takes a sip of his coffee, deliberately letting his eyes roam now, "Fine…though, he is dating someone."

My jaw drops, "About time."

"He says the same about you."

"Never mind that, who is it?"

The corner of his mouth twitches in amusement, and I glare.

"Seph! Who? Do I know her? Oh God wait, don't tell me it's a him—

"No!" Sephiroth says quickly, and I smirk; it's rare getting an actual reaction out of him, but it's worth it when it happens.

He narrows his eyes, "It's your flower girl—

"_No_," I gasp, "That's freaking awesome. I can't believe she hasn't said anything!"

Seph raises his shoulder in a half hearted shrug, "I can't imagine why."

"Oh please, Seph, she knows very well I'd be happy for her—oh man crap they're dating, that's amazing wait how."

Sephiroth blinks, trying to piece together my attempts at sentences.

His brow wrinkles and he lets out a struggled, "What?"

"How? When! Details, man details!"

He grunts, annoyed, "He can tell you later, when you talk to him again. I don't feel like discussing it."

"And what did he mean about the about time with the dating about me?"

"What?"

"I mean, what's he saying about me and dating?"

"Oh, that. He just found it strange you hadn't dated anyone."

My face falls flat, "Seph…you've been in Midgar for how many years? When was the last time _you _went on a date? Midgar isn't exactly the love capital of the world."

"Point. Still, he believes it would be easier for you to get a date than I."

"Why?"

He shrugs, "I think it's obvious. I'm a man with strange hair that studies skulls—

"You do more than skulls, Seph—

"And," he says tersely, "You're a woman who studies living things. Not much competition there."

I lean onto the table on my elbow, "Technically they're marine living things. Wow…Zack and Aerith…that's surprisingly shocking but also awesome. They're so much alike, happy then suddenly serious. But they're good listeners, and they understand you."

Seph grunts, "Yes. They are much alike."

"Dude, if they get married you'll be stuck with two Zack's, only one will be a female. You'll be getting both ends of the stick," I laugh.

"Please, I was just beginning to accept it."

I eye him slyly, "I didn't know you and Zack talked so much, Seph…and about me. Really, I'm flattered."

He shrugs, "There for a while he was trying to get me to date you."

I choke on my hot chocolate, "_What_?" I flush suddenly.

Sephiroth seems unperturbed though, "He began to realize the pattern in our weekly meetings, and thought for sure a date would follow."

"When did he see this pattern?"

"Six months ago," and I see a rare hint of a grin on his face.

"Oh?"

"I thought about it."

"What?"

"Seeing if I could win a date with you."

"Really?" I ask, surprised.

He nods, "At the time…when you were with Zack I thought it interesting, and then when you sought me out in Midgar I found it more interesting. I repeat, my job and appearance usually does not have a positive affect on the opposite sex."

"I think your job is interesting."

"That's the point, one reason why I considered it."

"So why didn't you?" I ask.

His eyes meet mine, "Honestly, I knew it wouldn't work, just like it hadn't worked with you and Zack. Would you have said yes if I'd had asked?"

I pause, thinking about it, "I can't really say. I don't know."

He continues on, unperturbed, "I knew that it would not work…I believed it would be enjoyable, as the relationship you had with Zack had been, but differently. I believe that Zack was too comical, and rarely serious…I feel that I would be too serious, and not at all comical. You need a balance, maybe not a perfect one, but one like yourself. You do think a lot, Tifa, brood over the past more than you like to let on. But, you obviously have your moments of comic relief as you often like to remind me. I believe that you will end up with someone who is like yourself, and unlike you. It is hard to explain, really," but his eyes stray to the ring on my right ring finger.

I subconsciously ball my right hand up, and move it beneath the table.

"I don't know…I guess I'll never know," I say, sipping on my drink.

I glance up at the clock on the wall, "Hey…time to get out of here…" I say, heavier than I normally would, "Have a good day, Seph…I'll see you later."

I stand quickly, dumping the remains of my hot chocolate instead of taking it with me like I usually would.

It tastes bitter now anyways.

**A/N: **Har har...I know last chapter was sad...anyways, enjoy the return of Sephy. We reached 200+! Thanks you guys! I really appreciate the reviews


	22. Backwards

Thursday 5:23 PM

"MARLENE! Open the damn door!"

There's someone bellowing inside the apartment above our bar, Seventh Heaven. Marlene is my roommate, a chipper girl whose starting college this year. Apparently I was to be a bit of baby sitter to her and her father's bar below us, my martial arts to protect her, and my womanliness to mother her while her father was abroad. However, Marlene is a very head strong girl, with a very clueless boyfriend at times.

"Denzel," I say, dropping my keys on the table as I enter the apartment, "What did you do this time?"

"Nothing! I swear," he's standing at the bathroom door, eyes wide.

He's got a head full of wild hair that sits in a mop; his eyes are a deep blue, and filled with earnest confusion.

"She's just messing with you," I say, walking around the couch and disappearing into my room.

"I don't know! It's so hard to tell! She's a friggen enigma! It's like…hell I don't know; she's being such a girl!"

I laugh, walking back out of my room, my apron used for work clutched in one hand, "Big surprise, Denz…she _is _a girl."

I begin to walk towards the door, but I glance at Denzel. He gestures towards the bathroom, mouthing the word 'help'.

I grin, marching back towards the door and pound on it with one fist, "Mar! The bar was supposed to open nearly half an hour ago! What is up? Get your butt in gear and let's go!" I bellow.

There's a swift click, and the door swings wide.

"Crap! I want a clock for the bathroom!"

"Thank—

"Shut it!" she says, moving into her bedroom.

I follow, stopping Denzel and shut the door behind me.

I give a little laugh as she sits herself at her computer, "Marlene…what happened?"

She grins over her shoulder, "Nothing really. Every now and then he just spaces out, and won't listen to me. I hid in the bathroom, saying he did mean things but he can't figure out what since he wasn't listening."

"You're evil."

"Hey, I can't help it. He still doesn't remember I have a door to the bathroom in my room, and one to yours. Honestly, the boy had plenty of chances to get in. I only locked the main entrance. I was in here half the time messing on the computer."

"Mar…"

"Don't worry about it…I'll fix it, just give me a minute, kay? I'll be down before you know it."

"Alright," I say, and move out of her room.

Denzel is sitting on the couch dejectedly, and I give him a thumbs up before heading downstairs.

I hustle around, trying to make up for lost time, flipping chairs off of tables and laying out napkin holders. I'm heading to get the last of the napkin holders when the phone rings.

I move behind the bar, answering it, "Seventh Heaven Bar—

"Hello, would you accept and pay for a collect call by," the automated voice is exchanged for a much louder, familiar one, "'Ehmygawd Tifa I'll fry your eyeballs if you don't take this' please say yes or no."

"Yes."

The line clicks, and a voice squeals, "Tifa!"

"Yuffie," I grin, "How's it going? It's been a while."

"Dude, I know," she gasps through the phone, "I'm actually in a village and they have a freaking phone. It's the first phone I've seen in four weeks. How crazy is that?"

"Wait, are you calling me from Wutai? How much is this going to cost—

"That isn't important, Tee-fuh. Anyways, so like I'm halfway through my old Wutai crazy trip. Isn't that groovy?"

"Much," I reply, rummaging through cabinets.

"So like, I'm having so much fun, it's unbelievable. Vin's here too, and he's having a hard time."

"So you actually convinced Vincent to come with you?"

"Yeah, well…I think pops may have paid him. Old man thinks I can't take care of myself…really…"

"Well, you are traveling in a foreign country through third world villages…I'm sure he had his concerns."

"Whatever, anyways he's having a bit of a hard time because _I'm _the translator. He doesn't know hardly any Ancient Wutai. I've been teaching him."

"That's cool."

"I finally learned the word for sister…but I'm afraid I might say it wrong, and if I say it wrong all these nice people sitting here might kill me cause it sounds like something realllly insulting if you say it wrong."

I laugh, "Okay…I guess that's why your dad never taught you how to say it."

"I guess so…anyways, I've got to go….I was just calling to let you know I'm okay, and alive, and you should hear from me again in five and a half weeks, give or take a few days. If not, send a rescue party into the southern parts of Wutai for me, please…kay?"

"Sure thing, Yuffs…have fun, but be careful."

"Always…Asty Y out."

"Bye Yuffie."

"Bye, love ya!"

I hang up the phone, smiling. It had been a while since I'd heard from Yuffie, and I'm happy she's doing good and having fun.

"Who was that?" Marlene asks from the steps.

"Yuffie; she's in Wutai."

"Cool," she says.

Marlene doesn't know much about my past. She knows I lived in Nibelhiem with my dad; she knows my mom passed, and she knows I have three wonderful best friends. That's about the extent of it.

"Hey, Tifa, can you do me a favor?" Marlene asks.

"What?"

"Can you go pick something up for me?"

I raise an eyebrow, looking towards her, "What?"

"I have a prescription at the pharmacy, and I can't go cause I just patched stuff up with Denzel…"

"_What?_ What does that have anything to do with—

"Puh-lease?! I'll open the bar and everything. You know I hate driving in rush hour traffic."

I sigh, "Fine."

I untie my apron, and she moves into the bar.

"Thanks."

"I'll be back in…half an hour," I gauge, "If I'm lucky."

Thursday 6:28 PM

Damn Marlene and her freaking prescription! I'm finally on the road leading to the bar, windows down, wind actually moving my hair, and music blasting.

I get the feeling I'm disrupting some kind hearted Migarians on their evening walk but I don't give a freaking damn. I whip into the tiny parking lot located behind the bar. There's Marlene's dinky car, and a motorcycle I don't recognize. Seph's car is also parked back here. I get out the car slowly, glancing at Sephiroth's car. He usually stops by sometimes during the week, but Thursday nights he lectures for night classes over at the University.

I shrug, glancing at the bike parked beside of it; there are packs strapped to either side of it, as if someone's been moving. I lean in towards it, peering at the fine piece of machinery over lowered sunglasses.

It's sleek and sexy, but that still doesn't mean it can park back here.

I sigh, thundering into the back door, expecting to hear the usual roar of the patrons, but it's silent.

I move through the storage room and into the bar to find it deserted except for one man sitting at the bar, his head turned away from me. I glance around, trying to find Marlene, but I see a sign stuck to the inside of the door over the window. I move quickly towards it, ripping the door open to read the sign.

_Closed for the night. Come by tomorrow_

_Mars_

I groan, slamming the door shut. Marlene isn't allowed to shut the bar, she doesn't have that power! The only person that does is me!

"Marlene!" I yell, storming towards the steps.

That's when I remember there's a man sitting at the bar, and the bar's closed.

I glance at his back; he's got broad shoulders and wild dark hair that hangs around his neck.

I narrow my eyes, moving over to him quickly.

"Sir…?"

He turns, and catches my eye with deep, violet blue eyes and I scream.

"_Zack!_ Zack Zack Zack!" I run towards him and he laughs as I fling my arms around his neck, "It's Zack! It's Zack!"

I step back quickly though, a thought striking me, and I punch his arm.

"Ow!"

"Why didn't you call me?"

"Because I was going to surprise you—hey! Ow! That hurts."

I punch him again, "Why didn't you tell me you were dating Aerith?"

A grin splits his face, "Again, I wanted to surprise you."

"Well you did," I say, throwing my arms around his neck again, and letting him go, "How long?"

"Well…it sort of just happened."

"Tell me about it," I say, pouring us both a drink, "How'd you two hook up? You're in Gongaga, and she's over at CC."

"Well," he says, accepting the drink, "Thanks. We played against CC in the playoffs."

"Oh yeah, I saw that on TV. Got creamed—

"Thanks for reminding me. Anyways, we stuck around CC for a few more days, and I just happened to remember Aerith was there, so I called her up. We hooked up a couple nights and went out and just hung out. I went back to Gongaga, and we just talked over the phone…_a lot_. So, when summer came around, it just kind of happened. We were just together. It was expected, from both ends."

I grin hugely, "That's amazing. Think what would've happened if I hadn't introduced you two at prom."

He rolls his eyes, "Please."

I grin, "So how is Gongaga? Ready for a star like Zack Barrack?"

"Er…don't go by that anymore."

My eyes narrow, "What?"

"Seph didn't tell you? Cold hearted bastard. Dad left mom about eight months ago. I took mom's maiden name, Fair. She's doing good though…it was unexpected but…we're okay."

My smile falls, "I bet so…that's terrible."

Zack shrugs, "It hurt…but, we're moving on."

"That's good. Speaking of which, where is Seph? Is that your bike out there?"

His face pales a bit, "Uh…no…actually, I have a favor to ask."

"Sure, shoot."

"Well, I borrowed Seph's car to drive out here. I'm going back to Seph's apartment—I'm here for the week by the way. You totally owe me for spending so much money for tickets out here but besides that, there isn't enough room for my bud to stay with Seph too…and Seph, well, you know Seph. He's particular about his company. He can't deny his brother though."

I grin, "Who's the bud?"

"Um, he's from school. He just transferred out here to Midgar this year."

"Really?"

"Yeah, that's his bike. He had to sell his car to barely afford moving out here, but he did. It was his dad's car, too…hurt him, but he was willing to make the sacrifice."

"Wow, that's amazing."

Zack gives an awkward laugh, "Yeah, he's a determined guy. Anyways, so his lease doesn't start for another few days on his apartment…but this was the only time we could get a flight that would bring his bike over, and he didn't want to be separated from it—

"I can see why."

"Hell yes you can," he sips his drink, "Anyways, so he just needs a place to stay for a few nights…then he'll be out of your hair."

I grin, "Such is fate. It isn't a problem…we have a fold out couch upstairs. Have you met Marlene?"

"Yeah, well, the last time I called here she answered and she helped me plan this whole thing out."

My face falls, "Oh…so the whole prescription thing?"

"Timed down to the very last second. She knew it'd be the worst time for you to go, in case the plane was running late. She also knew you would go if she offered to open the bar since you hate doing that."

"Clever little…" I mumble, but grin, "She's a character, but she's a good kid."

"She's only a couple years younger than you."

I shrug, "Doesn't make much of a difference. Did she introduce you to Denzel?"

Zack laughs, "Yep…nervous guy isn't he?"

"Just around strangers. They've been together since high school…and shockingly I think it'll work out."

"Really?" his eyes raise in surprise, "I heard from Shera the other day. She says Cid still hasn't quit smoking, but he can run with the rest of 'em…so she figures he'll do that for as long as he can."

I smile, "Really…"

It's nice to hear him talk about Shera and Cid without any animosity what so ever.

"I haven't heard from Shera lately."

"She's been busy, real busy. I can't believe Shera is going to be a rocket scientist, but I'm sure she won't let anything stop her."

I nod my head in agreement, "Yep. I actually heard from Yuffie today. Seems her and Vincent are about halfway through their cross country trip."

"That's awesome."

"Speaking of which, where is your friend?" I ask.

"He forgot his toothbrush, of all things," Zack says a little pathetically, "He went by that convenient store just a couple blocks down. He should be back pretty soon."

"Oh, okay…well, I'm going to go take this up to Marlene, and go ahead and flip the couch out. This will be fun, you here for a week. I missed you, Zack."

"I missed you too, Teef," he hugs me again.

I move upstairs slowly, pausing to look at the pictures that had come to decorate the walls of stairwell. There is one of Zack and me at the putt-putt place. I grin, studying it.

Downstairs I hear the bell chime softly as the bar door swings open.

"Hey, took you long enough," Zack's voice trails up the steps.

There's a grunt of a reply, and some footsteps.

"You're avoiding her, aren't you?"

I lean towards the bar a bit, my ears straining.

There's no response, and Zack continues on, "You can't avoid her. You're staying here with her. I know you didn't want to be an inconvenience, but its fine, really."

Another grunt, and a chair slides out.

There is silence before Zack's friend finally speaks.

"…where is she?"

My blood freezes.

"Upstairs, talking to her roommate. How are you going—

But I'm already blocking it out, silently fumbling up the last few stairs. I somehow open the door to the apartment, and shut it behind me with finality. Marlene is behind the counter in the kitchen. She looks up, smiling as the door shuts.

"Oh there you are. Thanks for getting that for me…I guess you saw your friends—

"Uh, here…" I say, holding out the bag.

She takes it, a frown crossing her features, "Tifa…what's wrong?"

I swallow, "Uh…I'm not feeling so well…I need to lie down."

"Tifa…?"

"Can you…" I lick my lips, "Can you tell Zack I'm not feeling well?"

"Sure," she nods her head, her eyes laced with concern.

"And…can you set out this bed for his friend."

"Yeah, of course…Tifa…are you sure you don't need something?"

"No…I just need some rest…thanks, Marlene."

"No problem."

I can feel her eyes on my back as I move around the couch and disappear into my room. My blood is pounding in my head. It sounded like him, but it was lower, and rougher, as if his voice wasn't used that much. I didn't hear a name, and it probably isn't him…I'm probably just overreacting, but I can't help it. I glance at the clock, slipping into my pajamas before falling onto my bed. I just want to sleep.

I only wake up once, and it's to Marlene talking to the stranger outside. The clock reads nine, and I hear muffled voices.

"Thanks, again…" his voice is deflated, tired.

"It isn't a problem…so, how long are you going to be—

I roll over, covering my ears. I don't want to hear who it is. I never want to hear. I just want to stay in my bed, stay here and never know.

**A/N: **Blarg! I make you wait! But it was a long chappie...erg, thanks for reviews! This story will soon be coming to a close, and I'll answer any questions when it's over...or, I'll see if any of these last few chappies answer questions. I'll stop rambling now. LATER TATERS


	23. Doomsday

Friday 12:02 AM

My eyes open slowly to the red numbers on my clock. It is dark, and silent, the world outside muffled. I sit up slowly, feeling too rested, and restless. I run a hand through my hair, trying to remember what happened, and why I got so scared so easily.

It isn't him, I know it isn't. I swallow, pressing my fingertips to my eyes; it'll never be him.

After everything, an unspoken rule became evident of all the friends I heard from…it was never to mention him.

I think Aerith told them everything. I haven't heard of him or from him since that day one year ago.

I don't know where he is, but I know it's not here. I know he'd never sell his father's car, and his bike was never as nice as the one sitting behind the bar. I know he'd never leave his mother like I left my father. I know a year isn't enough time to get sorted out and to get into Midgar. Plus, Zack said he transferred, and as far as my knowledge goes he never went to college.

It isn't him…it didn't even sound like him. His voice was too low, too gruff. It isn't him.

I shake my head at my stupidity, letting out a short laugh. I feel a bit guilty though, cutting off my time with Zack. I shouldn't have done that because we don't have a lot and he'll be gone again soon.

I swing my legs over the bed, and stand slowly.

I'll go look at this stranger, and prove to myself it isn't him, go back to sleep and never think about him again.

I step slowly out of my bedroom, being sure to be quiet.

There is no noise in the room except for the soft breathing coming from the couch, and the low hum of the air conditioning. Lights from the street shine through the windows, making it easier to see than in my room.

I can see the stranger's feet from here, but his face eludes me, blocked out by the back of the couch.

I move softly over, not wishing to wake him. How awkward would that be? I mean, who wakes up a friend's friend in the middle of the night just to see who they are? It's rude, too.

I take slow steps, watching as my sight of him expands. He's got the covers pulled up to his waist, and one hand his resting on his chest.

His hands are big, and rough, lined with calluses and scars. His nails are short and dirty, and one of them is bruised beneath its surface.

I move forward, seeing that he has a muscular build beneath his tank top riddled with tiny holes. He's thin, but strong, I can tell. He has smooth arms, broad shoulders, and his chest rises and falls slowly, the hollow of his throat a deep, black shadow across his pale skin.

It's his neck, his curve of the shoulders. It's his square jaw, and long, straight nose. It's his pale lips, thin and twitching in his sleep; his ear graced with a silver wolf. It's his unruly blonde hair falling around his face, freckles speckled along his cheeks and nose.

My eyes roam his face, falling over the long eyebrows, and dark eyelashes, flickering once, twice—

Blue.

His eyes stare up at me over the back of the couch, glowing bright in the night, watching me cautiously with as much disbelief as I hold for him.

I inhale sharply, a hand coming over my mouth in disbelief. I'm shaking violently, and I stumble back, my socked feet slipping on the floor as I struggle to get away from this phantom.

It isn't real, I'm dreaming, I have to be.

But he's stumbling off the bed quickly as the sheets get tangled in his legs, rounding the couch, starring at me with open shock as if I just invaded his home and his world instead of the other way around.

I'm gasping for breath now, like I can't breathe, and I just keep backing away; I'm afraid, I'm scared of him, but I don't know why I should be.

He moves forward, his lips open just a breath, eyes still wide and wild. I stare up at him as he reaches me, no where else to go. He reaches out uncertainly, silent still, and touches my elbow.

I break.

I fall into him, grabbing him tightly, and he responds by holding be back just as tight.

I'm crushed against his chest, but I break, crying for the first time in a year as I grab at his back, balling my hands up with fistfuls of his shirt.

He holds me tighter than I can think possible, tighter than I've ever been held, and we crash to the floor. He holds me, never saying anything as I bawl my eyes out against his chest, practically in his lap as he sits on his knees. He rocks me slowly, and I never want to let him go.

I never want to give him the chance to leave my arms, because I'm afraid the moment he does, he'll be gone forever again.

**A/N: **AHAHAHAHAHA! So I totally was going to make you guys wait another day...but after many protests (and threats) I decided to post this little chappy up. Hopefully it will satisfy your thirst. I realllly wanted to be like It's Reeve ZOMG! but...I didn't...cause I'm nice like that (and I already messed w/ your heads w/ the Zack/Shera pairing, which by the wall is the most underated pairing evah). I loved, absolutely loved all your reviews for the last chapter. They made me giggle, especially **Toons**...I think that your reaction was great...course, I'm sure many of you wanted to kill me. Heh, enjoy this little snippet! Tomorrow I move into the dorms, so it'll prolly be friday before I update again. bye!


	24. Morning Glory

Friday 6:07 AM

My eyes crack open slowly; it's brighter than it should be in my room with early morning sun pouring in through the windows. I feel well rested, but groggy and confused, and a bit stiff.

It takes me a minute to realize that I'm not in my bed, but on the fold out couch in the living room. My eyes finally focus, and across from me I can see _him_.

At first I think he's asleep, but his eyes are half lidded staring down at something. My eyes follow his gaze, seeing my right hand held gently in his. I think he's focused on my ring, since his thumb keeps tracing over its features.

I slowly raise my eyes back up to his; he hasn't realized I've woken yet, and is content to just lay here and watch me.

Memories of the night before flash through my eyes; my tears, and my refusal of letting him go. He said nothing, I said nothing, but it was enough just to touch him, enough for him just to be real.

I don't know what's going to happen now…it can't just magically be okay because he's here, because he never called me or tried to contact me. He never sent messages through the others; he just left me on that train platform with a ring and a promise. I know I left him too, but I tried…

I wonder though if that last goodbye was all he could do…as if I didn't make it hard enough on him already, leaving that is.

And it's not like I tried contacting him…but after that note…after that goodbye, I thought he didn't want me to come looking for him or asking for him. I thought…our separate ways started there. I thought that chapter had closed.

His eyes have found mine…apparently not.

It's as if he's watching me like I might bolt at any second, which is a very real possibility. It'd seemed different at night…more believable as a dream, and that I wouldn't be opening up that part of my past again.

What do you say to someone you haven't seen for a year? What do you say to them, when you both left on such sorry terms…what do you do…when one of the last things he did was kiss you? Especially when you responded by slapping him.

How long have I been staring at him? Does it even matter?

But through my scrutiny of him this morning and from last night I can notice the subtle differences in him. He seems much older, as I thought I seemed when I first arrived in Midgar. He's bigger too, not much, but enough to impose a bit more on me. His shoulders are broader, and even laying down I can tell he grew taller. What makes him look like a man though is the determination in his eyes, the age and the regret there, the sorrow of loss he's experienced his whole life…something I helped to contribute to.

He inhales slowly, breathing out "Tifa…"

I shiver when he says my name, because it makes this moment that much more real, and I can't believe he isn't real anymore…I can't believe that this is just some figment of my imagination just by the way he said my name.

Part of me wants him to be fake and part of me wants him to be real. If he's fake then I can go back to living my oblivious life, to my content life that I have built here. If he's real, I have no idea which way this will go, nor where I'll end up at the finish of all this…where he will end up.

His grip tightens on my hand.

To hear him, to see him is one thing, but to touch him and have him here is something completely different.

I can't do anything but stare at him, this is so beyond my mind right now even though I know he's real, and I know he's here…why is he here? Zack said something about Midgar…and school…and he was determined to get here. But why here?

Somehow my lips part open, and I find my voice…it doesn't sound right, a bit broken and sad, yet happy…so strange, right now.

"You're late…"

It's as if hearing my voice is the permission he needs to move, to do something other than sit there and stare.

He moves quickly rolling across the bed towards me, and I think the reason he's moving so fast is that he's afraid I'll run away if I figure out what he's doing.

His hand finds my hip, turning me towards him as he props himself up on his elbow, leaning in quickly and pressing his lips to mine.

It's different from last time, better, because there is determination and conviction in that kiss, there is no hesitation and it almost feels like he came to Midgar just to do that, and he would be happy.

It is not a deep, open mouth kiss, but rather just lips pressed together, but it holds more intensity than I could think possible.

He breaks the kiss slowly, his forehead pressed to mine when I wrap my hand around his wrist, his hand still on my hip.

I open my eyes, finding his face screwed up in a comical fashion as if he's just waiting for that slap he got last time. I almost want to slap him for what he's put me through…all of it…dating my best friend, falling for me the moment I decide it's time to move on. Really, his timing is the worst.

But I can't slap him; I don't have the strength to lift my hand after that kiss. Still, if he thinks everything is just peachy keen then he's got another thing coming to him. We still have a lot we need to talk about…a lot we need to figure out.

His eyes open slowly, hesitantly when he doesn't get slapped. He lifts his head away from mine a bit, peering down at me.

He meets my eyes, and I want to smile, but I can't. There's still so much doubt surrounding this…a kiss won't convince me that he's staying…that he's here for me and his future.

Still, all these thoughts weigh on heavier questions; heavier answers that I care to try and wrestle with right now.

So I don't ask why he's here…I don't ask where he has been, or what he was thinking…instead, I go with something much simpler.

"So…the real reason you didn't stay at Seph's is because he hates you."

His face sort of contorts into a look of shock and confusion, before he busts into laughter, his head falling a bit. His laughter makes me laugh, but more because I haven't seen him laugh for longer than I haven't seen him.

It's almost a relief that we can start this light…but it will not stay this way.

His eyes meet mine, and I search them, finally breaking what little peace we have built.

"Why?"

It is more than one question, because I have so many questions. Why will simply answer them all, and I can't wait. I have to know.

He looks away quickly, sitting up and pulling away from me. I sit up with him as he sits up onto his knees, scratching the back of his head.

He keeps his eyes averted as he responds lowly in this new voice I have to get use to.

"A lot of things…"

I stare at him earnestly knowing it will take a lot to get a clear answer out of him.

I tilt my head to the side, "You owe me more than that."

His eyes meet mine for a brief moment, "So do you."

I inhale sharply, nodding my head and sitting up on my knees.

"Alright…I'll start…" I say softly, leaning into his line of vision.

He looks up at me, "How can you be so calm?"

I give a shaky laugh, holding up my right hand which shakes as well.

He doesn't meet my eyes or says anything…rather he stares at my hand, stares at the ring on my finger. I put my hand back on the bed, and his eyes follow it.

"Well," I start, but then Marlene's door opens.

She looks a little shocked to see us sitting on this bed together...wait...or maybe she's a little shocked to see us awake.

Dammit I forgot Marlene was an earlier riser. She's got a mug of coffee clutched in her hand, and she gives a little secretive smirk, before walking towards the kitchen.

She lifts up the coffee pot, "There's coffee if your _friend_ wants some."

Damn her.

"Uh..." Cloud stammers; glad to see some things have changed, "I don't...like coffee."

My head whips around sharply, "What?"

He shrugs, staring at the bed and pulling on the sheets.

I glance once more over my shoulder at Marlene who is heading for her room. She catches my eye, giving me this look that says '_You will tell me everything or you die_'. I shake my head lightly, and she mouths 'Talk to him.'

Marlene is really too smart for her own good when it comes to social problems. I mean, really...I'm sure she's probably figured out half the story just by this little meeting. She gives a smirk before closing her door, and I turn my attention back to Cloud.

God how weird is that...looking at him...seeing him, hearing him, touching him. He shouldn't be here, but he is.

I grin, and he narrows his eyes.

Where were we? Oh, that's right...

My smile falls, and I begin, "In January…when you and Aerith began to speak, I got my acceptance letter to Midgar. I never actually believed that I would get in…I did it just to gauge my other letters, and weigh my options. Midgar…became an actual option when my father began to speak like his company was moving. H-he even went on a business trip here, and while he was here spoke with a man who was looking for someone to watch his daughter while he went abroad. My father kept his number in case I would decide to come here… when you and Aerith started dating it crossed my mind more and more…I thought…I thought about the opportunity I'd be throwing away if I didn't go. I wanted to do something on my own, too. Through the years I had come to depend on you and Aerith a lot…and you both…you both were happy, and strong. There wasn't a place for me—

"Tifa—

"No," I cut him off, "There wasn't. I fell into depression…but, I met Zack, and I worked my way out of it. It took me a while, granted, but…I did. Part of the reason I wanted to end things with Zack was merely the fact that I didn't want to come to depend on him like I had with you and Aerith. I didn't want to be attached so close to another person when I knew I'd be leaving. So…my father called up Marlene's dad, and it was arranged. He thought I'd be good for the job…not so old that Marlene would hate me, and young enough that Marlene would have a friend to talk to in case she got into any trouble. I thought it wouldn't be that big of a deal if I left…you and Aerith were happy, and I could be happy too. I just wanted to be on my own for once.

"Sometimes I wish I would've told you all sooner…especially after what happened. Still, telling Aerith…telling you...that was the hardest thing I was facing when it came to leaving. Then…after the train station…I moved on. I lived my life this past year as happy as I could be, and I was happy. It was strange though, how everyone cut you out of their conversations…as if it would make what happened just disappear."

We sit in silence for another moment, and I worry that he has nothing to say.

"You were right," his voice catches me by surprise.

I study him as he continues, "I didn't know what I wanted. I…fell after you left. I tried to move on...but..." his voice trailed off and he shifted, "It took me a while to realize that if I wanted things to change I had to do it myself. I set out on the best course to getting here. I went to the community college for a year…kept my grades up. It shouldn't have been enough for a transfer to Midgar, so I wrote a paper lining out the flaws in the original plan for the stacked city. They were impressed, so I came here for engineering. They cut you out too, everyone…but not because they wanted you to disappear, but because I thought about you enough as it was."

He lifts his head, as if staring into the past, "I finally figured out what I wanted."

He finally looks at me with a steady gaze, "I don't expect you to forgive me."

My brow furrows, "Forgive you of what? You didn't do anything wrong."

He shakes his head in disagreement, "I did a lot of things wrong...after...you told me you were leaving. I should've said something...but I left you I think...instead of you leaving me," he smirks, "The only one who ever said anything about you was your dad. He's proud of you."

I tilt my head, "What happens now?"

He blinks, meeting my eyes, "I'm here…to stay."

I smile as he says that; it feels good to have that off our chests, but it still weighs in the air.

I don't expect everything to be perfect just because we've said all these things. I don't expect love to just show up. It will take time, and it will take work if we want anything to work out. It will be more than just saying what happened, and saying what will happen. There is more to relationships than just the image.

"You've changed," I say softly.

He looks up at me, his eyes bright against his skin.

He looks afraid, like the fact that he's changed will make me push him away just because he's different, because he isn't the boy I knew. But, I'm not the girl he knew, so I think that's okay.

Still, even if he is different, and I've got a whole other set of things to learn about him doesn't stop me from kissing him on the lips softly.

"I'm proud of you," I say, and he doesn't look so worried anymore.

**A/N: **Last chapter. I'm going to pull an epilogue from somewhere, and this story will FINALLY BE OVER. Wow, I know updates have been like BAM BAM BAM! But, I mean, I don't know...just massive inspiration for this story lately. Anyways, so, like stick around. I hope Cloud was in character when he made his tiny speech. I felt he was, he can tell what he did, but I feel like he'd leave out why he did it more. So, I tried to make it as...unclear, but clear. Does that make sense? Also, with these last few chappies I tried to make it seem as though Tifa was happy despite all that had happen...did I succeed? Anyways...I love you guys! And your reviews, so...if you have any questions or w/e, I'll answer them in the epilogue. Enjoy!


	25. Will You Still Love Me Tomorrow?

**Three Years Later**

Thursday 9:28 PM

There's three duffle bags pilled on top of my bed in my room. Or rather, there's three duffle bags pilled on top of the bed in the guest room.

It's amazing the crap you can accumulate over the years. I mean, I don't think I remember buying half this stuff and when the hell did my book collection ever get so big? I need a man to lift all this crap.

"Denzel!"

Or...something like a man.

"What?!"

I lean out the door, pouting at him, "Help me...Denzel...help me."

He glares at me, "No."

My jaw drops, "Denzel...you slay me."

"Get Seph to help you," Denzel points over his back.

Sephiroth is sitting on the couch, his leg crossed, and reading a newspaper as per usual.

He doesn't look up, "I merely came because I was told that if I didn't Marlene would bind me with my hair and fry my innards. I do not believe I was told to move things or help anyone."

"_Seph_, I need help."

He tips his head back, looking over his shoulder, "You're a big girl."

My eyes narrow, "Great time to get a sense of humor."

He shrugs, returning to the newspaper.

"Will no one help me?" I ask, "Seriously, I just want to move my stuff out into the front room. I'll carry it down by myself. So please...please please please please!"

"Denzel..." Sephiroth stands slowly.

"Yeah, Seph?" Denzel glances at him, before turning and grinning maliciously back at me.

"Denz...?"

He charges forward, pushing me in the room, and shutting the door.

I grab the knob, but I hear scraping, and my jaw drops again.

"Denzel! Sephiroth! I will murder you!"

"If you can get out of the room!" Denzel snickers through the door.

I try to twist the knob, but I know they've put one of the chairs from the table up against the door. Bastards.

I growl, kicking the door once, and Denzel yelps in surprise.

"Don't break it! You don't live here anymore!"

"Yeah, I wouldn't if you jackasses would help me with my stuff!"

"No!" Denzel shouts.

I sigh, turning and heading across the room. I open the bathroom door, and slip out the bathroom. It's amazing how clueless Denzel can be sometimes. He's staring at the door, snickering. My gaze travels across the room to see Sephiroth watching me from the couch. He shrugs, unperturbed. At least one of them remembers the bathroom connects to the bedrooms.

I sneak up on Denzel, and grab the collar of his shirt from behind. He yells, and I put him in a head lock, running my knuckles across the top of his head.

Sephiroth sighs from his position as I give Denzel the noogie of his life. Ha. Take that.

Denzel finally frees himself, and glares at me.

"Eventually you need to remember that there is more than one way out of the bedrooms."

He narrows his eyes.

Sephiroth speaks up from the couch, "Honesty, I would've thought you were an adult now Tifa."

I stick my tongue out at him, "Just cause the rest of us weren't born one," I say, and he shrugs again.

"Hey, I have an idea," Denzel says, "Why don't you get–

"Hello loves!" Marlene steps through the door, holding her arms out.

Sephiroth puts his head in his hands, and I hear him mutter, "Oh God it's her."

Marlene walks past the couch, patting him on the head, "Hello, Seph. Anyways, dear hearts, I bring tidings of joy! More specifically, moving men!" she points towards the door.

My jaw drops.

"Holy...Rude?! Reno!" I rush over, grinning.

"It's been a while, toots," Reno gives his wolfish grin.

I shake my head, "Wow, Rude, you're tall. Er...Reno, you're...not."

"Hey!" Reno cries, "You want us to help you or not?"

"Of course! But why are you guys in Midgar?"

Reno rolls his eyes, "Here we are, haven't seen the woman in ages, and all she can ask is why the hell we're here?"

"Well, why are you?" I ask.

"Man's work," Reno says, moving past me.

I shake my head, "I'll take that."

I walk back towards Marlene as Reno enters my room.

I hear him call out, "God I forgot women have so much crap."

I sigh, looking at Rude.

"How are you, Rude?"

"Fine, Tifa."

I grin, he's still bald, and seems to have adopted sunglasses...even inside.

He isn't blind, is he? Maybe Reno's like his seeing eye dog.

"Yo! Woman! What the hell did you put in these boxes?"

I sigh, moving into the room, "Books, Reno. You know, the things you read."

He's hunched over a box, and glances up at me, raising an eyebrow, "Why would you want those?"

I put my hands on my hips, and he picks up the box.

"Better not to ask questions," I say, and he shrugs, carrying the box out of the room.

I sigh, reaching to pick up one of the duffle bags on my bed. I hear a door open and close, and there's a big commotion. Seems Marlene has invited a few more people for my departure.

There's a discussion, then a gruff voice roars, "Oi! Woman! Get in here!"

No bloody way...

I dash out of my room, and drop my bag in shock.

"Cid! Shera!" I squeal, dashing across the room.

Marlene giggles as I fling my arms around Shera. I hold her back at arm's length, making sure she's real.

"H-how?!" I squeak.

She smiles, "Well–

"We got convinced by this one," Cid gestures at Marlene, "Wouldn't stop friggin callin Shera. We finally relented."

"Guys!" I say, "You didn't have to come!"

"Oh yes they did. Else I'd be about eight levels of pissed off right now," someone says, walking in the room.

I seriously think my eyes are watering up; in comes Yuffie, Vincent, Barret, and Jesse.

I give them all hugs, and Yuffie is laughing loudly. She greets everyone in her own way, punching Reno and Rude's shoulders, and hugging Marlene with a friendly smile.

I'm grinning way too big now, my cheeks hurt. Everyone's talking and laughing, and it's strange seeing all of them together again. I've been visited a few times, but never all at once. It's great, and a bit crazy seeing Marlene talking to Yuffie, and Cid talking to Denzel. It is so strange, but it feels right. I grin widely, throwing my arms around the nearest person. It happens to be Sephiroth.

He glares at me, and I grin, "Oh you know you love it, Seph."

He sighs, but wraps his arms around me firmly, briefly, but at least he hugs me.

"It'll be strange...getting used to not meeting you at the coffee shop," he says, nonchalantly.

My eyes soften as I watch him, "Seph...you've been a great friend. You'll be fine without me."

He shrugs, and I sigh, "You'll have to come visit me, too. You can't get rid of me that easily, Sephiroth."

His eyes narrow slightly when I use his full name, but I shrug it off, hugging him again.

I give a brief kiss on the cheek, "Don't sell yourself short, you'll be fine."

I pull back, giving him a smile. It looks like he could be blushing, but with Seph, one can never be sure.

I turn quickly, diving back into these people I haven't seen in ages. Barret and Reno are hauling up boxes of liquor from the bar. They set it out on the table, and start passing drinks out to people. Marlene laughs with delight, making her way over.

I grin, the door opening again, and I'm not so surprised when I see them.

Zack pauses to hug Shera, and clasp Cid's hand. I don't get a reprieve from Aerith, though. She flings herself in my direction, nearly bowling me over as she hugs me.

She takes a step back, staring at me, "Why Ms. Tifa I do declare, you've grown up nicely."

I grin, "Why thank you, Ms. Aerith. You've got a sharp eye, there."

She laughs, pulling me in for another hug. I'm trying to remember the last time I saw her. I can't, and that's sad.

Course, Costa del Sol is closer to her than Midgar is.

Aerith sighs, "I'm so envious Tifa. Living on the beach, getting to swim! I'm going to be there every other weekend, I swear."

I grin, "You better. We have to make up for lost time. Plus it isn't all that...I've got learn things_...more_ things._"_

She laughs, looping her arm through mine, and we make our way towards the crowd.

Zack gives me a brief hug, and moves to talk to Sephiroth. It feels like everything is moving to fast as I look around the room. More people are making their way in, friends from high school, friends from Midgar...it's all overwhelming. I love seeing them, and I know they all came to see me off (which was quite the feat I must say) but it's pressing on my head.

Not to mention the fact that it looks like they're going to be drunk soon. Drunk and rowdy and completely uncontrollable. This is going to be the best night ever.

I take a sip of whiskey, Aerith sipping on a mixed drink. Aerith has never really been one for any drink, but she grins at me.

"So, I guess Zack told you the news."

I grin, playfully bumping her hip against mine, "Yes, he did. I can't believe he worked up the courage to do it."

Aerith smiles, "I don't know. He seemed pretty confident about it...did this whole dinner thing; had it all planned out. I told him when we first got really serious...I said, 'Don't you dare propose to me until after we graduate.' I mean, think about it; the last thing I needed over my head during finals was a wedding to plan. I told him I wanted to live a little after we got out of school, ya know? I mean, this way we have time to get jobs, and lives. I can wait to be married, I can wait to have kids. Don't get me wrong, I want to, but I want to live a little too."

I nod my head, "Yeah, that sounds nice. Where do you think it's going to happen?"

Aerith grins, "That little church with the flowers. It's so old, and ruined...sort of tragic, but beautiful."

"Can you _fit_ everyone you want in that little church?"

She scoffs, "Why of course. Ye have little faith."

"Ye are just crazy. Delusional."

"Am not."

"Are too."

"Am _not_."

"Are too, freak show."

"I'm not a freak show. You're the freak."

"Aerith, dear, please. We all know you're the freak."

"Obviously you haven't been paying attention because _you're_ the freak."

"Will you two cut it out?" Cid whines, "Seriously...you're like a friggin broken record or somethin."

We both stick our tongues out at him, "Hush up grumpy."

He grunts something, turning back towards Barret, and we both bust into a fit of giggles.

Barret rolls his eyes, muttering "Women."

"Girls," Cid growls, ignoring us.

Aerith is more bubbly than usual; she really has no tolerance at _all_. It's great.

Still, I'm getting overwhelmed again; someone's started blasting music from the stereo in the corner.

I pat Aerith's back and lean into her ear, "I'm going to go get more drinks."

She nods, and I turn to head downstairs.

I descend the steps; I can still hear the music above, and I smile. I'm going to miss Marlene, Denzel, and Sephiroth. I love them all; I love everyone up there. I'm going to miss them all, course, I guess by now I should be used to going to new places alone. It's kind of sad dad's company dropped him before they moved down here, but I think he's happier in Nibelhiem. It's his hometown, and that's where he wanted to stay; plus, mom is there. As long as he's happy, I'm okay with what he does.

I move behind the bar, pulling out a couple different bottles. I put them on the counter, and start rummaging around for a tray to carry it up.

I bet I'll get chewed out by some of them for working at my own party. I don't mind, though. It's enough that they're all here.

My ears perk, though, and I glance towards the door that leads towards the back, and the storage rooms.

I frown, hearing murmured words, and I head towards the door slowly, cautiously.

I raise my fists, edging my way down the hallway, the murmuring getting a bit more clearer.

"...we've known each other for...no, no that's not right. Dammit...what did Zack say?"

I drop my fists, peering through the open doorway of the storage room.

A soft smile crosses my features, and I lean against the door frame. I watch him struggle with himself, his back turned towards me, still mumbling incoherently.

"I thought you had to work."

Cloud turns sharply, fumbling with something in his hands.

"Err...I got off...early," he says, pulling the delivery boy cap from his head.

He runs a hand through his hair, fluffing the spikes back up a bit.

I grin, folding my arms across my chest, "Uh huh."

He nods his head, his hands fidgeting, fingering something.

"What'cha got there?" I ask, nodding my head at his hands.

His face flushes, "Uh...nothing."

I raise an eyebrow, "What?"

"It's nothing," he replies quickly, too quickly, and moves to stuff it into his pocket.

"Oh no you don't. Let me see what you're hiding," I take a quick step inside the room, reaching for his hands.

He flushes further, pulling his hands back, "No! No, Tifa, Tifa please."

"What?" I ask playfully, "What are you hiding?"

"N-nothing."

"It doesn't look like nothing."

"Well it is nothing."

"Liar."

He sighs, holding his hand above his head, "No."

"You're no fun," I poke his side.

He jerks violently, and drops the object; it falls to sit at my feet.

I bend over and pick it up, holding the red, velvet box back out to him.

He narrows his eyes, "Aren't you going to open it?"

"You said it was nothing. Why would I open an empty box?"

"Tifa."

"You need to make up your mind," I say, grinning, prodding him in the chest with the box.

"Tifa."

I look up at him, and he stares at me for a moment, before reaching over and taking my hands. He opens the box in my hands, still holding on as I stare down. My jaw drops slightly, and I stare at the silver ring with a little pearl on it.

"It's beautiful," I whisper, staring at the ring.

"I...know it's...not much, but...that's all...I could..."

I smile, looking up at him, "No, it's perfect."

He blushes, averting his eyes, "I...I...uh, Tifa...I, well, I want...uh, what I mean is...w-will you...will you...Tifa, will you–

I throw my arms around his neck and kiss him. He wraps his arms around me, and pulls me close as he kisses me back.

I grin against his mouth, and pull back, "Yes, I will."

He smiles, and pulls back. I put my hands before him, handing him the box. He plucks the little ring out, and gently grabs my hand, and slips the ring on my finger.

"I...I wanted it to be special," he says as I stare at my hand.

I look up at him, "You think this isn't special?" I ask, showing him the ring, "It's perfect, really."

"You sure?"

I grin, "I'm positive," I say, wrapping my arms around his neck again.

He leans down and kisses me, and I feel warm inside, right down to my very core. Even as his hands slide beneath my shirt down my back, I can't stop smiling up against his lips. When we break for air, I still have this huge grin on my face. I don't think anything will take it off.

Well, maybe one thing.

"_Oh_, getting more drinks huh? That's what they call it now a days."

We break off quickly, and I turn around, flushing brightly.

Zack whistles innocently, walking over and picking up a box.

He whistles, and walks his way back over towards the door.

He grins again, grabbing the doorknob, and flipping the latch so that it's locked.

He winks, eyeing the ring on my finger, "I didn't see anything or anyone," he says, shutting the door behind him.

I sigh, turning back to Cloud whose got his head in his hands.

"He'll never let me live that down," he mumbles.

I punch his shoulder playfully, "What're you complaining about? You'll be on another continent. He'll be bugging the hell out of me."

Cloud looks up, meeting my eyes, his a bit sad, "I...I'm going to miss you."

I smile softly, "Hey, you'll be done in December, then you can be with me again. That's what, only six months from now? We've had worse."

He sighs as I put my hands on his hips, his gaze traveling around the room, "I guess I did tell you not to wait on me."

I kiss him, smiling slyly, "It's a good thing I never listen to you then."

**A/N: **Snarky Zack...perverted Zack...gah! I CANNOT believe this is over. It's freaky, really. FREAKY. Anyways, if any of you are confuzzled, Tifa's going to Costa del Sol for her masters, and Cloud's still finishing up his edumacation at Midgar. Since he was a transfer student and all, he got behind...yep, he sure did. SO it's over. I know I keep saying that but jeeze! It's over! Crazy. Anyways, I want to thank everyone for the encouragement and support through this fic. The story line changed several times, I must say. I had a couple other things planned, but I completely scraped them. They were ridiculous. RIDICULOUS. They were, really. I hope you all liked this epilogue, I know it's a bit fluffy, but it isn't fluffy. I kinda wanted to keep you in the dark abou their relationship and where it had gone for as long as possible cos I'm evil like that.

Anyways, thanks to Alexia Alexendra, Alice001, AlwaysHiei, Alyde, Bahamuts AngelVII, Bloo.Chocolate, Bluishorbs, Calistar Heir, ChErRyBlOsSoMs-FlOwErOfDeAtH, City of Dis, CrimsonPromise, CrystalBlueRose, Doctor Kiba, Ethear, Faerex, Final Haven1205, FinalSerenity, Free The Dancing Lamas, Just Mystical, Kelenthial, Kingdom Keys16, Kitty-Cat89, LayDSuLJiah, Lenore Hepburn, Lisilgirl, LockhartVII, Lord Sparta, LoveIsAForceOfNature, Mayarider, MakoRain, Max927, Meiliona, MindlessManiac, Missyesque, MorbidXAngel, Niktastic, NShadows, Pepsi216, RhyssaFireheart, Sephiroth2021, Sheiky, Teef Lockheart, Tibbar Sabertooth, Toons, Untold Secrets, Ur1Nonly, archangel3000, callisto-78405, cerberus angel, ciher, cricketchick1990, dagenn, dreaming.saphire, evenstarfictionfan, fire-angel-of-death322, ialwaysforgetthings, lockheart1, mike tike tofu, purple parasol, reader713, saishenoyama, scooter510, shirilyle, sportiegrl, sweetsimplicity, theDr., timekeeper1824, xTxNxLx.

And to everyone else who reviewed and read this story...thanks!


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